I'm sick of people only liking me because of my massive chess elo

Destiny

Let me paint a picture for you. I'm on a first date with this wonderful girl I met through a mutual friend. Everything is going well, like phenomenally well, too well. We agree on all the same topics and our sense of humor match but differed enough that we're surprising each other with our experiences. Some way or another I bring up that I am 1700 on chess.com. 

She kinda laughs, acknowledges how cool and incredible an achievement that is. We continue chatting until I decide to use the restroom, except I forgot my phone--and in my gut, there's a fat storm brewing. 

Lo and behold, I get back to my table and my date is furiously looking through her phone. Wait--it's MY phone. She had memorized my password! 

"What the hell!?" I ask, pulling my phone away. Her grip is like a vice. On the screen is some kind of chess statistics page!

"I just wanted to see your thick game history," she pleaded. "Oh God, look at all that green, oh my lord I can't believe it." 

Wherever I go my amazing chess elo follows me like a stench. Men, women, anyone: if they hear that I have extreme skill and a diverse opening pool, they see me as some sort of chess Adonis. 

Sometimes I'll be taken home, thinking it's past-time to get funny. But then would-be lover shows me to the computer and begs me on their hands and knees to let them witness "one short game of blitz." Is that all I am? A set of fingers, a pair of eyeballs, blessed and cursed to be so much better than you at this game? 

My main opening, my main is the French. And sometimes I feel like a Frenchmen, just something to be stepped on. A piece of fungal meat. 

Pro chess players of Chess.com: how do you get along with others when all they can think about is your dextrous finger and massive opening repertoire? I just want good and honest love.

 

 

Based on a true story.

 

blueemu
Destiny wrote:

Based on a true story.

It must be very LOOSELY based on a true story.

hisokaxhunter

I am more to ponziani, an extinct opening from the past

bong711

Tell your to be beloved you are a Patzer. That's to test true love 💖

jjupiter6

Women have definitely paid me more attention ever since I reached 1300, so I can relate to how you feel in a small way. Once they find out I have a tiny opening repertoire, I never hear from them again.

CRYYSIS
Destiny wrote:

Let me paint a picture for you. I'm on a first date with this wonderful girl I met through a mutual friend. Everything is going well, like phenomenally well, too well. We agree on all the same topics and our sense of humor match but differed enough that we're surprising each other with our experiences. Some way or another I bring up that I am 1700 on chess.com. 

She kinda laughs, acknowledges how cool and incredible an achievement that is. We continue chatting until I decide to use the restroom, except I forgot my phone--and in my gut, there's a fat storm brewing. 

Lo and behold, I get back to my table and my date is furiously looking through her phone. Wait--it's MY phone. She had memorized my password! 

"What the hell!?" I ask, pulling my phone away. Her grip is like a vice. On the screen is some kind of chess statistics page!

"I just wanted to see your thick game history," she pleaded. "Oh God, look at all that green, oh my lord I can't believe it." 

Wherever I go my amazing chess elo follows me like a stench. Men, women, anyone: if they hear that I have extreme skill and a diverse opening pool, they see me as some sort of chess Adonis. 

Sometimes I'll be taken home, thinking it's past-time to get funny. But then would-be lover shows me to the computer and begs me on their hands and knees to let them witness "one short game of blitz." Is that all I am? A set of fingers, a pair of eyeballs, blessed and cursed to be so much better than you at this game? 

My main opening, my main is the French. And sometimes I feel like a Frenchmen, just something to be stepped on. A piece of fungal meat. 

Pro chess players of Chess.com: how do you get along with others when all they can think about is your dextrous finger and massive opening repertoire? I just want good and honest love.

 

 

Based on a true story.

 

You really are in pain

autobunny
blueemu wrote:
Destiny wrote:

Based on a true story.

It must be very LOOSELY based on a true story.

the artistic license taken alone would require a team of lawyers to vet through

autobunny
jjupiter6 wrote:

Women have definitely paid me more attention ever since I reached 1300, so I can relate to how you feel in a small way. Once they find out I have a tiny opening repertoire, I never hear from them again.

as long as you fianchetto, they are normally forgiving.

AUSSIE_PINOY

There is advantage on doing your homework...to study...to increase level of play...

No other way to learn chess but to learn endgame...I Invite you to watch and learn my YouTube Chess Channel...its free to subscribe......FM Jesse

lichess.org/coach/CoachJesse

www.youtube.com/channel/UC19el2OO2z-aWnLlyuu8ToQ


Cheers...I hope my YouTube Chess Channel would be of help to improve your chess skills to attain much higher rating....kindly subscribe its free...just press click....FM Jesse

autobunny
Destiny wrote:

*snipanintro* Some way or another I bring up that I am 1700 on chess.com. *snipofdarest*

the bunny wants to know how.

autobunny
AUSSIE_PINOY wrote:

There is advantage on doing your homework...to study...to increase level of play... *snipospam*

what is the advantage of spamming then?  the response is likely to be:

52yrral

*Laughing nonstop* tongue.png

HanoiFC2006

Ohhhh...

That's why you're in (S)pain. That girl better respec(kh)t you.

Note: Try to read "respeckht", which is literally "respect" with a "kh" at the near end.

greatswindler
Sorry, but I call bullshit on that. Chess is boring for most women that I know.
melvinbluestone

   "....... fat storm brewing."

                         Wasn't that a song? Oh no, that was "Long Train Runnin'".

Ziggy_Zugzwang

Nothing worse than being a "chess object". True...If only women judged men by the size of our wallets....

congrandolor

I know what you feel, bro I reached 1500 yesterday and my phone doesn't  stop ringing since then

autobunny
congrandolor wrote:

I know what you feel, bro I reached 1500 yesterday and my phone doesn't  stop ringing since then

That's just folks trying to reach dolores

ABC_of_EVERYTHING

I watched "little womem"the day before yesterday and it is a good movie. You still have a chance going by the trend.

CoffeeAnd420

Little Womem is indeed a true classic.

As for the OP: Really - Nobody cares about your chess rating, or anyone else's for that matter. It's not worth anything and therefore, only a child would attach importance to it.