somehow i lose time at 2x the rate as my opponent whats up?
it happens when you lag or when your connection is bad. The simple way is to explain your opponent the situation.
If is polite, he will accept a draw.
If he doesn't accept, well, his objective in life is to win an online game, so your life is 1000 times better than his, just resign and find an other opponent.
I think this is a false dichotomy...