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Can males and females be just good friends?

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andys001

I was recently asked what I thought about this topic and I think it is easily possible for males to have friends of the opposite gender and vice versa.  Throughout my life I have generally had more female friends than guy friends.  My working life has varied from factory jobs to office employment and I haven't found the environment changes this.

I was also asked if I thought the situation would be changed by one or the other friend fancying the other?  This I also think doesn't prove to be a problem for genuine friendship to prevail.  Several of my female friends past, present and probably future too, have been easy on the eye and a small number have been truly model looking.  However, taking the importance of a great friendship over and above everything else, I think it is entirely possible for males and females to maintain lasting friendships.

Winning119

Everyone is different and it depends on the individual, but my guess is that more people can't be just good friends with the opposite sex than can.  Women aren't good at chess anyway so who cares

andys001

That's a very good point you make about everything depending upon individuals with regards to building and maintaining good friendships "Winning119".

However, I disagree completely with your statement that "women aren't good at chess".  It's a fact that fewer women play chess worldwide than men, so it stands to reason that the overall number of strong chess playing women will also be fewer.

Having said that, there are plenty of great examples of women excelling at chess - the Polgar sisters to site one example, or the seven-time US Women's Champion Grandmaster Irina Krush, the list goes on.

AnastasiaStyles

Yes, one can't be friends with the gender to which one's attracted. As a pansexual, I can confirm I have no friends at all. My only company is rocks.

/irony

More seriously, I'd broadly agree with you (Andy).

On balance, I think I have rather more female friends than male ones, though as a disclaimer, I do seem to end up sleeping with very many of them, but by no means all of them. I can think of at least two good examples of female friends where I haven't, and in the category of male friends who also like men, I can think of at least three such examples.

I think it helps if one sees sex as an activity that yes, involves intimacy, but also is fundamentally a social activity; a great thing to enjoy with friends where there's mutual desire, but not something that necessarily imports a whole bunch of random unwanted crap straight out of Hollywood.

On the other topic, about women and chess, don't forget Hóu Yìfán, who is now the highest rated female player, having passed Judit Polgar, is continuing to climb in the ratings, and is very frequently seen wiping the boards with the big boys at international tournaments.

Raspberry_Yoghurt

Ya of course.

Will also add that with most of my female friends, not all though, their has been some fancying or random drunken episodes involved at one point or another, but well you get over it and get back to normal. The really good female friends are in fact those where you don't dump the relation after a bit of hanky-panky.

theresamiranda13

Yeah.....they can be just good friends. Since in my teens....Im the only girl in our group. Sometimes its more comfortable to be with opposite sex friends that same sex friends. Until now we still communicating with each other.Smile

gaereagdag

Only if they are neighbours:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zXF2v4ZgaU

Laughing

Sheltie75

Yes, men and women can be friends. A booty call is a friend of sorts?

andys001

I'm talking about genuine true friendships, not "friends with benefits", nor "booty calls", or anything else of that nature.

MSC157
Raspberry_Yoghurt wrote:

Ya of course.

/.../

Would love to see a female representer of Denmark here, too. Wink

Sheltie75

Its awkward if one is attracted to the other and wants more than friendship. Is it possible to be friends in that scenario or is that 'stringing along'?

Sheltie75

kaynight :) yes valid point. I am Scottish but live in Derby

Sheltie75

Aye, tell me about it.

PKMNYG

Sure, in fact they could have married.

RonaldJosephCote

Didn't you see the movie, "When Harry Met Sally" with Billy Crystal + Meg Ryan?

hangejj

When I was younger, it was a half and half ratio.  The older I got the more it changed and to now the only female friendships I have are the ones I have known for years since school and our friendships have evolved. Our families are more important than having to talk all the time but when we catch up that friendship still exists.    
 
I also grew tired of it to be honest.  This is not meant to be a criticism towards females by any means.  It is more a criticism towards me when I was younger.  

The 'easy on the eyes' aspect you mentioned was a cloudy haze for me when I was younger.  Those friendships 'felt' close, but the endgame was a loss(no chess pun intended).  For me, the lasting female friendships were/are with women I am not physically attracted to and the ones that fell by the waste side were the easy on the eyes one.

The relations were self-serving not self-nuturing(on both ends) and this can happen with male male friendships, female female friendships etc. but nevertheless experiences influence us.

My desires changed.  I didn't want many female friends.  I wanted one female friend to spend my life with and then have my male friends that I simply have more in common with which led me to stop wasting women's time and my time.

Plus now I am in love with a woman and she is my best friend.  I have no desire to make new female friendships.

I hope your friendships are good and lasting.  :)  The definition of friendship has to be able to be evolved in relations like these though maybe more so than friendships with same sex platonic friendships.  

RonaldJosephCote

    "Google tells me you're a porn actress".  Anyone could of gone to that site and stolen that avatar. Chosesing to use that avatar here is in bad taste but anyone who does porn is no actress.

andys001

I don't agree at all with the comments being thrown at acgirldreamz93.  As a matter of fact I thought her statement was an interesting and well considered one.  Why is it that when an intelligent woman makes an intelligent statement some men feel immediately threatened and have to try and degrade her character?

If anyone has an issue with another member's avatar, raise a ticket instead of making public personal attacks.  Those personal attacks are inappropriate and unacceptable.

Masamune314

G

kaynight wrote:

Once you get sex out of the way, men and women can be friends.

Marriage is good for this. LOL

Bonny-Rotten

males and females being friends is very natural. but the quality of interaction isn't always natural for people whose minds have deteriorated, whether they think sex is dirty or not.