Hi, Fred Bloggs here! Are you sick and tired of sore losers whining about being denied their constitutional right to a rematch? What a stupid question! Of course you are! So join the original rematch parody — My Rematch Request Was Rejected! Share your stories of your most memorable rematch rejections! And post your favorite jokes during nightly Jokes Hour! Other regular features include hilarious News Items, Cartoons and Video Clips! Click on the link below to get My Rematch Request Was Rejected! And for a limited time, it's absolutely free!

https://www.chess.com/forum/view/general/my-rematch-request-was-rejected

But wait! There's more! If you act now, you'll also get my other outstanding parody — Why Is the Rook so Short? If you like complaining about chess pieces, chess rules, chess players or carpool lanes, you won't find a better place to do it! If you prefer quotes to complaints, bring some good ones to nightly Quotes Hour! You'll also find informative Fun Facts, Vintage Ads and This Day in History among the other regular features! Click on the link below to get Why Is the Rook so Short? And not only is it free, you won't even have to pay additional processing and handling!

https://www.chess.com/forum/view/general/why-is-the-rook-so-short

That's right! You get both of these amazingly incredible threads at the unimaginable price of nothing! How can I possibly offer all this value for free? Volume! But you must act now! Tell 'em some guy who vaguely reminds you of Billy Mays sent you!

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