CyberSensei

Cyber Sensei
Florida, United States
Joined
Nov 21, 2007
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Cyber's Best Live Chat Quotes (submitted by Members)


1. "Good morning, day, evening chess.com"
2. "Anonymity has no pride."
3. "One cannot know another's knowledge; only the knowledge of one's self."
4. "We have a limited supply of Capital Letters, please don't use them all at once."
5. "Tread lightly"
6. "Hate breeds only hate."
7. "I'm old enough to know better and young enough to still be learning."
8. "Govern yourself accordingly, so someone else doesn't have to."
9. "If you are concerned about where the line is drawn, it's because you want to cross it."
10. "You can't make a Royal Flush from each hand in poker, but you can make a Royal Fork in each game of chess!"
11. "Let's discuss the topic; not the person."
12. "Datatypes! Can't we just get along."
13. "You can't Raise a child by Smacking them around."
14. "We don't know others until we know ourselves."
15. "It's the lesser man who needs to set himself above another."
16. "It's better to be mentally acute then mentally obtuse."
17. "T
he expectations we seek should be the expectations we exhibit."
18. "Fighting with others demonstrates the limitation of your mind; not theirs."
19. "A Festivus for the Restivus!"
20. "Seeing things to completion is the meaning of life."
21. "Just because everyone's looking for a mate doesn't make this a dating website."
22. "As a matter of fact, it is the fact of the matter that matter as long as facts matter."
23. "Having the Right isn't the same as being Right."
24. "Rules are boundaries for people who cannot act in good faith."
25. "Hate is a problem with the individual; not the subject of hate."
26. "Make yourself irreplaceable for what you do tomorrow; not what you did yesterday."
27. "Happiness = Reality - Expections"

 

New Liturgical Writings that have impressed me that I feel the need to share with all.

“If there's something you really want to believe, that's what you should question the most.” ― Penn Jillette
“We all have friends we love dearly that couldn't pass for human in a strict Turing test.” ― Penn Jillette
“Luck is statistics taken personally.” ― Penn Jillette
“If every trace of any single religion were wiped out and nothing were passed on, it would never be created exactly that way again. There might be some other nonsense in its place, but not that exact nonsense. If all of science were wiped out, it would still be true and someone would find a way to figure it all out again.” ― Penn Jillette

Added the Steven Wright quotes back because others missed them more than me and knew just where to look to find them.

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates".

His mind sees things differently than most of us do, so he'd probably make a great chess player. Here are some of my favorites:  


1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.  
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.  
3 - Half the people you know are below average.  
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.  
5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.  
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.  
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.  
8 - If you want the rainbow, you've got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend ... but she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever ... so far, so good.
20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.  
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - Imagine Pulitzer Prize Fighting.
35 - I have HDADD - High-Definition Attention Defecit Disorder.
36 - The Earth is bipolar.
37 - My dog has a website; all it is is naked cats.

Check out Bill Hicks as well:

"Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death. Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves."

 



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