I have infinite dreams, they fit to a tiny chess board.
As the world like a game, where even with the best moves you might lose,
The blunder had already been made, long before the start and it's hard.
A world I dreamt,
A dangerous one, with all the moves forced.
Only a delusional attempt,
It's Zugzwang. I hanged myself, and cried.
A life I dreamt,
After all those moves to me that comes.
A home with peace and calm,
And a cup of tea filled with laughs.
I thought backwards and backwards,
Finally, seeing my mistake.
The only blunder, many many years ago,
Doomed me, piece by piece.
My king was safe,
Pieces in their best place.
Everything was fine, make no mistake.
My blunder was my choice of opponent.
My opponent was fierce and cruel,
Did not dance with my pawns but duel,
I was so commited, no takebacks, all-in,
My only winning chance was her to blunder,
The blunder of her life,
To have some loving.
Now, I return to simpler things, like actual chess.
No love, no calm, no one.
Keep living, dreaming about a tombstone,
Like a pawn with 7 other pawns,
But powerless and alone.