Jul 12, 2019
Last Online
2 hrs ago
Diamond Member
Since Sep 20, 2020

I came all the way from Planet Skaro to the city of London on a missive, to learn about human behaviour. My profile picture is a depiction of me trying to decipher a London Tube Map. Frankly, I was unsuccessful, and was punished by being forced to fight in the Thal Dalek War. If we fail to victor, I shall face my demise at Elephant and Castle station, London. Please support me in my conquest by:

a) Sacrificing your queen, elephant, and castle (also known as bishop and rook) pair for rapid checkmating (I think you can guess who loses via checkmate there)


b) Donating 500 rating points to me

c) Travel into the future by hopping aboard a Maglev and once the train starts to move, rapidly accelerate (300000000 m/s is highly preferable). Then, once in the future, ensure that the conditions are predetermined so I win the war.

Shanghai+Maglev+Train+HD+wallpapers+1.jpg (1200×630)

d) Going to the Tardis Police Box in London, travelling back in time, and teach me to decipher the London Underground map. (Because this is such a massive favour and generally unfeasible, I will sacrifice 42 oxen for anyone who achieves this).

tardis-in-space.png (2638×1960)

Hint: Tempt the guards of the Tardis Police Box with doughnuts. If you fail to get inside the Tardis, please provide me with doughnuts and some refreshments, preferably plum pudding, cookies and a cup of tea.

e) Fry an omelette for me, because Daleks love eggsterminating omelettes. Steal the Doctor's fish fingers and custard, tucked away in the food machine of the Tardis Police Box. 

And just to reiterate, I was sent to the war because of this:

9cd06c039d130a961f077a05e08894f6.jpg (960×600)