Doublewide

I'm a tour-guide on Mars. Due to the lack of tourists on Mars, I moved to America to grab-up all the "free stuff" from the socialists. Unfortunately, Trump then became President - - - a man who mistakenly thinks that progressives like me want a "job"!  Oh, brother. What's a "globalist" like me supposed to do to keep up my free ride? You know - - - distracting others with half- baked innuendo - - - and living off of those simple-minded fools (like my father and grandfather) who have always worked while "clinging to their bibles and guns". Those bigots! Those racists! Well, you know who they are - - -  you see my dilemma. I guess I'll eventually be forced to move on to Jupiter with Whoopi. Boy! It just seems to be getting harder and harder to bilk the zombielike gullible multitude. Why, it's almost like - - - work!