Updated 4/22/26

Hi! I’m meep, formerly known as @MeepUltra (banned for poor sportsmanship), @MeepyUltra (banned for owning multiple accounts), @MeepUltraa (banned for cheating), @Bumfuzzlement (Idk why it got banned), @MeepUltraaa (also don’t remember how it got banned) and a lot more that I’m too lazy to list.

I used to have a youtube channel but my parents didnt like it so I had to delete it so I have to get other people to make videos for me :<

Similarly, my bio used to be really long and cool but I got banned again (for the againift time) so I’m kinda lazy to make another really long and crazy bio.

Im just going to put videos in here so it looks a lot longer then it really is lol

This is my fan club/cult/hangout/chatroom: https://www.chess.com/club/meeps-army you should definitely join it it’s really cool

Anyways here’s some stuff about me:

I’m single

I play geometry dash and Roblox (that’s really it, but I play minecraft like once in a blue moon)

Im a generic person with zero specials traits unless you count baseless speculation and rapid sanity loss special traits.

I try to be funny but it doesn’t really work

I live in florida, USA. Thats why im hot (cue slow funny music with lots of trombone melody)

I play the bassoon in my concert band and its cool and nobody knows what it is :<

This is my current favourite song (yes I put a “u” in “favorite” because the British versions look better because they have more letters)

I have a Meta Quest 3S but the only game I play on it is Beat Saber. Message me if you wanna play sometime. :)

I also hate the chess.com emojis they are bad the only good one is the knight with the fork.

My fav music artist is @teminite hes so cool and one time I messaged him if I could remix his songs and he said yes but it didn’t go well lol.

I dont know what grammar is. (Update: looked up the definition. It’s absurd)

And lastly, I love geometry dash creating. Its….. buildish. Yeah. Thats the word. I really really really REALLY love it

So much that I made all of these:

My irl friends are @OtherMeep (Holy, this meep is quite other-full) @jaxsonmedlin (guess his name XD) @vishwasaran (Unnecessary parentheses) and others that I think exist on here but I still gotta find their usernames

Gender: ask in PMS I’m not publicly announcing that

Age: same with gender

Oh yea, also I’m really really really reallllllllly clinically insane so be careful around me

Also I play chess

Which is why I’m on chess.com

Duh

My fav opening is queens pawn

Random socials:

Steam username - @MeepUltra

Roblox username - @Meepoflifego

Scratch username - @-_Demox_-

Geometry dash username - @MeepUltra

LIchess username - @MeepUltra (don’t really use lichess except for when I get banned on here)

Minecraft username - @MeepUltra (what else is new lol)

Meta username (for voicechat and text if you wanna) @MeepUltraa (WITH TWO A’S OMG ORIGINALITY)

Okay time for my favorite part

I love to write storys as well

These are my storys :D

The story below is short enough to include, and should give you an overall gist of my personality XD

Once Upon a (Biodegradable) Zagnut

In a land far, far, away, wedged within the deepest pits of a generic middled aged kids mind, past the eating pizza section and the WHY IS THIS NOT MAC AND CHEESE MOM WHY AHHHHHHHHHHH segment, lies the city of solid water. You might be wondering why this town is called solid water. Well, the answer is simple: the water looked solid. You see, a while back, something that would change our lives forever was invented. The zagnut. But the wrappers of the zagnuts, and the zagnuts themselves, are starting to pollute the water, essentially turning our fair city’s bay into the perfect place to run around. Yes. Run around on. It’s that solid. But soon, (soon is a figure of speech. It wasn’t that soon) I was able to defend the city’s bay by creating an eco-friendly hunk of delicious food, as well as prevent a maniac from destroying me with various doohickeys that were powered on non-biodegradable zagnuts. Oh, on top of all that, I also set a world record.

I am snarglebinder, and this is the story of how I set the world record for most amount of pollution prevented with biodegradable zagnuts.

February 30th, 2026.

Wam. I woke up with a start. I just had the weirdest dream. I dreamt of... -zagnuts? It’s no surprise, I guess. Just take one look out my luminescent trash can of a window, and you’ll see zagnut wrappers practically forming a blanket over the bay. It wasn't only like this. My parents used to say that before the zagnut was invented, the city used to be called clearwater, and you could actually see the bay. It sounds nice and all, but there's no point in fantasizing, as my dad was the one who invented the zagnut in the first place. Blinded by money, he sold zagnuts, more zagnuts, so many zagnuts that it's hard to put into words. He told me I wasn't good enough. But I will try, because trying is the key to success. Picture that all the zagnuts got melted into liquid chocolate, flooded the entire world, and BAM, you're sitting in an ark. I don’t know what that Noah guy was thinking, personally. It sounds very unpleasant. Thats basically what happened to our water, minus the liquid part. None of this is important however, so I get out of bed, change my clothing, shower (in zagnut juice, of course), and make my way down to my job at floormart.

“Good morning” zedegminteruous greets me as a walk in.

I feel obligated to respond, even though I don't really want to. “Morning to you too. Or night. Possibly dawn. I don’t really know my time of day anymore. I’m too obsessed with zagnuts.”

I think now might be a good time to mention that our government practically got ripped out of 1984, stuffed in a bag, and kidnapped to our city. But it's even worse. It's more like when the kidnapper delivers the government, the people refuse to pay him, so they start fighting, which basically destroys the government. It's your generic U.S.A. government, but with one exception. You must love zagnuts. If you don’t love zagnuts, bad stuff will happen to you. Thats what happened to my mom. She liked York peppermint patties, and now she’s in jail, rotting away like a dead Tik-Tok trend. As for my dad, he was playing video games with his friend, and he got cooked so hard that the sun literally cooked him into a thanksgiving turkey or something. Serves him right, inventing our world's literal demise. He told me I wasn't good enough. Ha.

I walk down the aisles of floormart, and head to the one I've been assigned to work on for the day. The odd words aisle. At floormart, we have all different kinds of floors, and these ones have odd words pasted over them. Nobody ever comes in this aisle. I stand around. Nothing to do. Nothing to do. Nothing to do. My eyes, desperate to stare blankly at something, begin to scan the rows and rows of velvet carpets, focusing on the words imprinted on them. Then my eyes fall upon it. Quite possibly the best word I have ever seen. Bumfuzzle.

Floormart has its first sale that day.

Back at home now, with my brand new bumfuzzle carpet, my brain begins to wander. I look outside my luminous trash can lid, staring at the chocolate brick that covers the bay. My brain begins to wander. I don’t like this. I don’t like how wrong this pollution feels. I don’t like how the government is forcing us to like the very things that are resulting in the demise of our bay. One dramatic and pointless montage later, I'm ready. I HAVE AN IDEA. A ZAGNUT POWERED WAY OF SUCCESS. I WILL SAVE THE WORLD. I, SNARGLEBINDER, WILL PREVENT POLLUTION WITH BIODEGRADABLE ZAGNUTS!

Ok, step one. How to make a biodegradable zagnut.

Hm.

Thats a hard one. Maybe it's impossible. But I must persevere. Remember, kids, pollution is bad. But I think I might know who to ask for help. Pulling out my computer (zagnut scented, of course), I type “RatUSD” into the search bar. RatUSD© is an ai assistant.

“Hello RatUSD. Can you help me with something?” I ask

“All I see is USD! Hello, I’m RatUSD. I can help you with anything you need! What is it that you need?”

“How do I create biodegradable zagnuts that will allow me to save an entire bay from looking like it's a brown brick?” I ask, thinking how insanely stupid the sentence sounds. RatUSD takes a while to respond.

“To create a biodegradable zagnut to allow you to save an entire bay from looking like a brown brick, you will need both plant-based renewable resources like corn starch, sugarcane, and seaweed, and, in some cases, microorganisms that produce plastic polymers. Mash them together, say a few magic words, and BAM, you’ve got yourself a biodegradable wrapper. As for the zagnut itself, you could try inserting a vial of edible uranium into it, a sure way to help the environment!” It finally types.

Jeez. That was helpful.

I needed to get the materials, so I started to walk down to plumlicks. It’s a store full of everything you can imagine. As I walk down the spacious aisles, past the butcher vanity plushies and rivals keychains (not sure what these are, maybe things from a video game?), I spot it. Just what I need. A biodegradable zagnut making kit. I picked it up. Or I try to. Because when I try to pull it up, a wire that was attached to the bottom of it snaps, setting off an alarm. Panicked, I race for the exit, but then someone steps in my path, raises a baguette over their shoulder as if they were about to hit a baseball, and cracks me across the head.

I passed out.

When I wake up, I'm in a factory of some sort. I’m still disoriented, so I can’t really tell you what is happening. But one thing registers, and that's the fact that I'm sure who captured me. Every good story has a villain. For me, the villain was the worst person I have ever met. After my dad got turned into a thanksgiving turkey, this is the one who took over the business, slowly making the zagnut problem even worse. His name is ridiculous as well. Enough building up suspense. I was facing the man behind the zagnuts.

Mr. Doozéwandév

I must get out of here. Looking around, I try to find something to free myself and find the ropes around me are surprisingly loose. But that seems intentional in a way. I take them off, and I begin to wander around the factory. I’m in the zagnut world factory. Thousands of zagnuts are made here every second. Why would Mr. D. let me get to the perfect position to sabotage the zagnuts? Surely, he was the one who boobie-trapped that biodegradable zagnut kit. Perplexed, I glance around, and suddenly, I’m pinned to the floor, with some weird zagnut zapper thing pointed at my face.

“What are you doing?” I gasp

“Ah, snarglebinder, you pose to much of a threat to me alive.” Mr. D. Responds.

Terror shoots through me.

“What are you doing?” I repeat

And that's when I heard the weirdest sentence ever spoken by man.

“I'm about to zag you with this zagnut.”

I kicked away and ran with all my might, trying to push through the exit door, and instead find myself in quite possibly one of the strangest rooms I have ever been in. It was a zagnut armory. Thats when it hit me. It was time for the climax of the story. It was time for the battle, to save the town of solid water.

I pick up the first thing I see and run out, realizing too late that I might have grabbed the worst thing imaginable. It was a laser pointer in the shape of a zagnut, but it was about the size of my pinky finger. On the sides of it, the words of the training pointer were imprinted on the wrapper. I groan. I feel like crying. My dad said I wasn't good enough. He might have been right. But that's when I remembered what my mom used to say to me.

“Don't judge yourself based on what others think of you."

And that's when I knew what to do.

No matter how puny my weapon was, I was determined to take down Mr. D. and stop the production of non-eco-friendly zagnuts. Pulling out training pointer, I aim, and then fire at the door, trying to have a cool entrance. The results were quite uncommendable. The entire factory blows up into smithereens, and a massive shockwave follows.

“Some training pointer that is” I think.

Of course, that's what I thought right before the recoil launched me into space.

Space.

It happened rather quickly, just floor, air, flying sensation, and then space. Here is a little fact about space. It’s not a place you should get launched into without proper equipment. The only equipment I have on me right now is the change I received from buying the bumfuzzle floor, so I’m basically feeling as doomed as John Smith felt when he realized his name was John Smith (quite possibly the lamest name in the entire world). However, there's one more thing you need to know. I still have the ridiculous training pointer. I blast it in the direction away from earth, and the recoil sends me flying back down to the planet, where I land on top of a conveniently placed zagnut-powered-catch-people-from-space-pillow. The battle must continue. Mr. D. shows up not a moment too soon. He takes out a zagnut-powered-zagnut-zagger-slingshot and fires a zagnut at me. A catch it and eat it. Mmmmmmm. I forgot how tasty they are. Taking out my training pointer, I aim, fire, and BAM, it turns Mr. D. into a zagnut.

One day later

Walking down the aisles of plumlicks, I find what I've been looking for. Corn starch, sugarcane, and seaweed. I buy them, as well as a biodegradable-making-device (I'm still not quite sure about the whole uranium thing), go home, and get to work. Soon enough, I’ve done it. I’ve made a biodegradable zagnut.

What follows is sort of a blur, but I remember taking the zagnuts to the ZIA (zagnut intelligence agency), showing them the zagnuts, and suddenly, the entire bay seemed to clear up. People still love zagnuts, but they are no longer forced to love them, and they are made from eco-friendly materials. Pretty soon, the city gets renamed to clearishwater, marking our journey with pollution and the steps taken to prevent it.

Oh wait.

I almost forgot.

The day after the city was renamed, I heard a knock on my door. The Guinness World Records Committee of Zagnuts gave me a plaque and the title of setting the newest record to date. “Most pollution prevented with biodegradable zagnuts.” I was elated, almost as excited as pigs are when they find out that they will be turned into bacon (on second thought, maybe I should use a different simile.) The point is that life is good. As the committee works their way across the bumfuzzle floor, they leave the house; one lags behind the others. He comes over to speak with me.

“Snarglebinder, I would like to congratulate you on your award” He exclaims.

“Thank you very much” I say

“Congratulating you is not the only reason I’m staying behind at the moment, however.”

Where is he going with this?

“You see, this story has more loose ends than my sister's hair.”

And at that moment, I knew exactly what he meant.

A sequel.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ About the author:

[redacted], Alias Snarglebinder, is an American novelist who has written 3 book series. These series include the “Reality with specifics” series, the “Zagnut” series, and the “Fae’s journey” series, which has been dropped. [redacted] most renowned book, “A Nonspecific Story About an Animal,” (the first book of the Reality with specifics series), is over 50 pages long! [redacted] enjoys writing whatever pops into her head and turning it into a story. She has never eaten a zagnut before (edit: 12/10/25, meep has tried a zagnut. It was good). [redacted] enjoys writing, playing Roblox and Geometry Dash, yapping with her friends, and staring blankly at walls for long periods of time.

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ANOTHER FIRE STORY (ABOUT GAMBLING!!!!) chess.com/blog/MeepishUltra/meepishultra-and-othermeep-story-collab

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AND FINALLY

MY BIGGEST BOOK EVER

WHICH IS TO BIG TO PUT IN HERE!

SO READ IT HERE: chess.com/blog/commentpastaifyoureadthis/hh

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Anyways, that’s really it so far. I’m gonna update this though so keep looking out for this bio stalker :P

Also send me the word Touch_Patsa for an award!

Idk why your all the way down here but now you have to watch this video until you go insane >:3