It's a magical world, enjoy! ☃️

Here are some lovely quotes from friends of mine:

@BSAE

"I asked @BSAE for a profile quote in 2023 and he's still thinking over it"

"Two windmills were standing in a wind farm. One asks, "what's your favourite kind of music?" The other replies, "I'm a big metal fan""

@dianefischer

"GREETINGS FELLOW EARTHERS. THIS IS MY OPPORTUNITY TO SPREAD A MESSAGE TO YOU ALL. MAX WOLFE IS A-"

(Had to cut off the rest to save space)

@DreamConqueror

"Let me come up with something"

(To be updated)

@xXMagolorXx

"Stocked up on stupid pills (Max can’t have any)"

(Maggy is weird)

@NoWellOkay

"Why me"

@Hobbes

"However hard you may try, however clever you think you are, just know I will always be better than you, smarter than you and simply better looking"

"People find me scary, but really.. I have the heart of a child. I keep it in a jar on my desk"

@rmschesser

"yoikes im a pigeon"

"yOiKes im a pigeon
BROOOOOO IM CHEESE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 "

@ant

"I eat flies"

@santox994
"My name is Cristiano Ronaldo and I wear Clear men."

"Don't worry. Be happy"

(What on Earth is "clear men"? edit: apparently it's a shampoo brand)

@Ralphmcm

"Don't be so open minded that your brains fall out"

@TheUltraTrap:

"Max improved at chess too fast. Ended up at -1/12 elo"

(They're all weird)

@Manchero

"Maxie is a top bloke, unlike that Hobbes character often seen running from a challenge."

(I think we can all agree @Hobbes stinks)

@Shreya_H

"If you cant convince them confuse the"

"nooo
put them
them

not the

fix it pls"

@Pixie_Angel

"Are you a time traveller? Because I see you in my future."
"Your hand looks lonely. Can I hold it for you?"

(Oh dear me)

@rk_killermac

"Are you robinhood or the wolf?
Spare my grandmother 🙏🏻

actually nah

thats too cringy
ugh
please
forget
i
said
that
stupid
thing
im

sorry
dont
put
that
in
your
profile

ahh, how about this
Before you marry someone, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are - Calven Klein"

(What an odd person!)

@the2leggedman

"I saw someone getting attacked by two other guys, so I jumped in to help. He didn't stand a chance against all three of us"

"Don't challenge death to a pillow fight unless you're ready for the reaper cushions"

@JkCheeseChess

"My Name Is Max Wolf And I Am Not Cool"

(Rare to see someone with such a similar name to me!)

@1Username2awesome3

"I needed help. Do you think I got help? No. I got the Internet. And that is why I am here."

@kirfickleslups

"HELP IM BEING TURNED INTO SUSHI"

"I always forgive and forget. At least I would if someone had done something wrong to me. What was the question? No, I don't think there's a history of Alzheimer's in my family."

@Mayo_Neighs

"An entity of Max nobility to be sure! However, has ascribed adjectives most untoward toward non-sentient beings namely myself. "Crazy but cool person" such hath named me, them being merely an oxygen atom from the fluffy yet metallic remains of a now freezing sheep. Possessive of clear merit in observation, but retaining a truly inauspicious route of rapport. 1stly, I resent the notion of colloquially-phrased insanity; I maintain a tangible existence of an insect, preceding my extradition to a bughouse - where my capture merely ceased my existence on a plane, but not of entirety - my reincarnation reliant on the 4th dimension*quantum implausibility. 2ndly, the colloquial cool, contrary to Fahrenheit/Celsius/kelvin, incommensurable in nature, is in-ascribable to my intangible self. The aforementioned sheep is cool, having its tungsten replaced with carbon, thus giving it life but removing its wool.

The true existential plight Max has reacquainted me is only the dissent of one's tangible and intangible beings. Bereft of wool the tangible is freezing, else inverse: the intangible resides in tungsten. Therefore, the 2 beings are mutually exclusive, yet codependent for existence; physical autonomy and sentience are infinitely mutually exclusive, in addition to equally intangible via infinity.

No worries Max my friend! Water under the bridge in a lucena endgame. I'll keep the hydrogen, and I'll grant you the oxygen, to be adjacent to the other. May a being prosper being of wool and iron. Best of days friend! 😊"

(Mayo definitely is not weird)

@Arseny_Vasily:

""The world bores you when you’re cool in my sombrero." Calvin Klein "

(What can I say?)

Read more about me here: https://www.chess.com/blog/Max_Wolfe/tales-from-the-nadir-1000-followers-special

Here are some wise words I found online formulated by some brainy philosophical chappies:

"Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes."

- Marcus Aurelius

"What is the difference between ignorance, and apathy? I don't know, and I don't care." - Plato

"The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello." - Isaac Newton

"If you think money doesn't buy happiness you should pay me $50 and watch me smile" - Hannibal Barca