Бриллиантовый пользователь
Hi, thanks for reading this 
the inventor of chess has died, 2020 is even worse now. 
rip
press f to pay respects
remember to copy paste this this so people know you care. most people won't, but people with a heart will.
PROUD SUPPORTER OF
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house?
Me: You won't believe me if I tell you.
Police: Tell me!
Me: Next to my house.
-------------------------------------------
10 facts I know about you
1. You are reading this
2. You realize this is a stupid fact
4. You didn't notice I skipped 3
5. You're checking now
6. You're smiling
7. You're still reading this even though it's stupid
9. You didn't notice I skipped 8
10. You laugh about how you fell for it again.
11. You're enjoying this.
12. You are still reading this
13. You forgot it is only supposed to be 10 facts.
This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.
Neville Longbottom: I just realized that never is a contraction of not ever
Harry Potter: Yeah, and blush is a contraction of blood rush
Ron Weasley: And studying is a contraction of student dying
Hermione Granger: . . .
-------------------------------------------
Impossibilities of the world
1. You can't count your hair unless you're bald
2. You can't wash your eyes with soap
3. You can't breath with your tongue out
Put your tongue back in, you fool. You look like a dog.
-------------------------------------------
Teacher: Why didn't you study?
Me: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that are way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year; hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days; you're left with 3 days in the year to study! Let's say you only go out for 2 days... You're left with 1 day. But that 1 day is your birthday. That is why I did not study.
Teacher: Class dismissed.
-------------------------------------------
Teacher: Why do I hear people talking?
Me: Because you have ears.
-------------------------------------------
Teacher: You did not complete your homework.
Me: You did not mark my quiz.
Teacher: I have other student's quizzes to mark.
Me: I have other teachers that gave me homework.
-------------------------------------------
Funny Roses Are Red Poems
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got five fingers
The middle one is for you
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
And so are you
But the roses are wilting
The violets are dead
The sugar bowl's empty
And so is your head
Roses are red
Bugs make me itch
If you were any ruder
I'd call you a... well... figure out for yourself: b_tch
Roses are red
Violets are blue
She's for me
Not for you
If by chance
You take my place
I'll take my fist
And smash your face
Roses are red
That much is true
But violets are purple
Not freaking blue
JOIN THIS CLUB: https://www.chess.com/club/the-club-of-pros-and-noobs
"I've never really appreciated how hard running a KOTL is."
"You are born to die, and along the way make the world you will not live in a better place."
"lul."
"chill, man. no yelling, not even for the first letter"
"Thats why you don't give caps lock to kids."
"Speed is the key to bughouse."
"Points can be a curse."
"Who knows? I either see more, see less, or, maybe, just maybe, I see differently."
"All pawns are created equal, it's the player that messes them up."
"If you can't find the board, you don't DESERVE to play."
"It's not about the views, it's about the forums. Hence me."
"You may have an excuse to be bad, but you have no excuse to not try to be better."
"There's too many. Too many bagels."
"SILENCE, puny pawn 
. the king 
is speaking."
"I am just on a higher logic level than everybody else. Don't worry, you'll get there eventually."
"Wouldn't bughouse just be so much easier if people looked in the chat?"
What would happen if 2 people died in fortnite at the exact same time? The last 2 people would both be low, on a platform high above another platform. Another person would be on another platform, then break it with their pickaxe. Then, as their falling, they would shoot the low-health platform that the 2 people were on, and they would start falling. The person who shot the platform would die of fall damage, then the 2 people who were on the platform that was shot would fall onto another platform, therefore dying at the same time. The reason I didn't make it so that one person tossed a grenade or one person on the platform broke the platform is that the person who killed both of them might get the victory royale. So there. 2 people die at the same time. Would would happen? A drawroyale?
I move a LOT, so by the time you are reading this, I will be somewhere else.
I am good at chess, piano, math, art, and video games. I am 10 years old.
My dream is to be a NASA rocket scientist.
Bᴜʟʟʏɪɴɢ? Tʜɪɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ sᴏ ᴄᴏᴏʟ? -Tʜᴇ ɢɪʀʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ғᴀᴛ?... Sʜᴇ ɪs ᴏɴ A Diet. -Tʜᴇ ɢɪRʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴜɢʟʏ?... Sʜᴇ sᴘᴇɴᴅs ʜᴏᴜʀs ᴘᴜᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴍᴀᴋᴇᴜᴘ ᴏɴ ʜᴏᴘɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʜᴇʀ. -Tʜᴇ ʙᴏʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛrɪpped? Hᴇ ɪs ᴀʙᴜsᴇᴅ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ ᴀᴛ ʜᴏᴍᴇ. -Sᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɢʟʏ sᴄᴀʀs?... Hᴇ ғᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ғᴏʀ ʜɪs ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛʀʏ. -Tʜᴀᴛ ɢᴜʏ ʏoᴜ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ғᴜɴ ᴏғ ғᴏʀ ᴄʀʏɪɴɢ?... Hɪs ᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ɪs ᴅʏɪɴɢ. -Tʜᴀᴛ ᴋɪᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ғᴜɴ ᴏғ ғᴏʀ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ʙᴀʟᴅ?...Hᴇ ʜᴀs ᴄᴀɴᴄᴇʀ. -Pᴜᴛ ᴛʜɪs ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴛᴀᴛᴜs ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴀɢᴀɪɴsᴛ ʙᴜʟʟʏɪɴɢ.
God there are so many versions of this
RICE? Tʜɪɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ sᴏ RICE? -Tʜᴇ ɢɪʀʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ғᴀᴛ?... Sʜᴇ has TOO LITTLE RICE. -Tʜᴇ ɢɪRʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴜɢʟʏ?... Sʜᴇ sᴘᴇɴᴅs ʜᴏᴜʀs EATING RICE ʜᴏᴘɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʜᴇʀ. -Tʜᴇ ʙᴏʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛrɪpped? Hᴇ ɪs ᴀʙᴜsᴇᴅ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ ᴀᴛ ʜᴏᴍᴇ with NO rice -Sᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɢʟʏ sᴄᴀʀs?... Hᴇ ғᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ғᴏʀ RICE. -Tʜᴀᴛ ɢᴜʏ ʏOᴜ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ғᴜɴ ᴏғ ғᴏʀ ᴄʀʏɪɴɢ?... he ran OUT of RICE. -Tʜᴀᴛ ᴋɪᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ғᴜɴ ᴏғ ғᴏʀ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ʙᴀʟᴅ?...Hᴇ ʜᴀs NO RICE. -Pᴜᴛ ᴛʜɪs ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ description ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴀɢᴀɪɴsᴛ NO RICE. I ʙᴇᴛ
haha credit to @ricechessmaster1
please don’t do Chess and play games: https://slither.io
Bye!
Клубы
Chess.com Beta
5 251 пользователь
Alaska Chess
74 пользователя
The club of chess Yuup
213 пользователей
alvin and members
9 пользователей
LMS School Chess Club
6 пользователей