Get um gothgirl15! No matter if a person wins or loses; they should prove in the post game they can win by being the better person having more grace, class and humbleness!

I'm still pretty new to chess, but here's my two cents. I think it's possible for a person to take chess (or any other game) very seriously without being a jerk or being in agony every time they lose. My motto, whenever I participate in any competitive endeavour, is this: play hard, play fair, give it your absolute best effort... and then don't sweat the results too much, especially if your opponent is willing to do the same.

I usually want to win pretty bad whenever I compete at something, but I figure losing's nothing to be ashamed of if you know that it's because your opponent was just better than you, and not because you didn't try hard enough.  Plus, losing (especially in pure strategy games like chess) provides lots of opportunities for a serious competitor to learn and improve, rather than get steamed about it. If you know you're continually getting better in the long run, there's no need to worry about whether your next game is a win or a loss, as long as you do your best to make it a win. And if you're not that serious, you can change the first part of that sentence to "as long as you're having fun".

Sometimes game jerks are accused of taking their game too seriously, but I think they're just jerks. There are examples from every sport (although maybe too few examples) of people who can devote their entire life to playing one particular game, and yet still be a nice guy and a gracious winner/loser.

Good or bad, every opponent I play is a person helping me to be a better player. And for that, I will always thank them. If they are upset because I win, the problem is them, not me...so I don't worry. We meet people like that everyday, not necessarily at chess sites. Life's too short to be mulling over something that's not your problem and is clearly the other guy's problem. Meanwhile, If I am upset because I lost, then I need to learn something, don't I ? Again, Life's too short for me not to forgive myself and move on and be better. As the Dao De Jing or Tao Te Ching say, "Without baggage, one travels far".

yup but apparently that guy didn't ever meet any of u but i got over it so alls good

Those palyers who progress the fastest are the ones who study their loses with more vigour than their wins. If you are beat, take a moment and consider why that is. It's not that your opponent swindled you or cheated you in some way. It's that your opponent bettered you on this day.

I think u dont have to like losing, but if u do learn from it. Get better not bitter..i believe in taking your chess seriously but never take your self to seriously. Thats when people get the attitude because they forget its just a game and u wont always win and its nothing personal u just have to learn from it...

 

yes that's wat i'm saying but the real issue is winning gracefully and losing gracefully. Before i had to stop playing i meet a lot of people like that who couldn't really deal with it and i was really young (OK i was 7 or 8 but still) and being as young as i was it really bothered me and sometimes it made me cry. (i don't anymore and it's embarrassing to admit) Like once i beat a grown man and i guess he really didn't like that fact that a little kid beat him .he started yelling at me and calling me a brat that cheated. needless to say it shed some new light on chess opponents.

There is nothing like winning, losing sucks. But whenever we win or lose, we are supposed to do it professionally. If your opponent is winning, but you feel there is a good chance of you drawing or maybe turn the tables (because many times people mess up in a winning position), by all means, keep playing. A different scenario is to play in a hopeless position (for example, you have a Bishop and a Pawn against your opponent's Queen, Rook, Knight and three pawns), in that case, don't waste your time and energy (and your opponent's)playing on until you get mated. Resign.

I i agree with most of what u all said. i try to play it to the end but if i see the results before the game is over then i wil resighn because either way i'm going to lose anyway. Might as well do it with dignity. And i will admit i have blow up before but i have refaned from doing so know but as one of u said it is very hard to do so when people are gloating and being jerks about it. But it is those very same people that blow it out of proportion when they lose.

If you are a beginner to Chess, you should not resign- play it to the end and learn from your losses.

I agree, it's important to be humble in defeat, but sometimes it's hard not to blow it when your opponent is acting smug and/or high and mighty about the win and insist in rubbing it in your face.

Akuni,don't worry about.you did'nt do anything wrong.

Humility is a good virtue to cultivate.  It's said that pride is the first capital sin; well, humility is the antidote. 

Boy, if only Bobby Fischer (Or Nigel Short, Kasparov, Alekhine, Torre, or another of the dozens of hyper-competitive chess players) were here. They'd go into collective apoplexy.

But apart from that, i agree with you.

Also, people (even myself sometimes, sorry Kang!) need to learn when to resign.