Chess experiment: How much does three pints of beer impact your chess ability?

In all "seriousness", we had the same kind of debate at the chess club a couple of months ago about giving one pawn odds in a blitz game for one minute.

There is no easy way to take pawns out in the opening without giving attacking lines, so we took positions from master games where we could take out a pawn with no obvious strategical implications.

The experimental data looks like for 5 min blitz (but remember, after the opening, so it is more likely that the whole game would be 10 min), one pawn is roughly equivalent to one minute (if the opponent starts with 4 min instead of 5), two pawns are more like 3 min handicap. And three pawns are more than 4 min, but it might just be that the positions we took are so obviously lost after stealing 3 pawns...

So, by analogy, I suspect beer vs rating is strongly nonlinear.

Quite right Dr. Checkevertim, this would indeed be a most logical approach. However, my personal research space lacks the necessary scientific equipment to ascertain this data, and the current priority for expenditure of the limited funding backing this experiment will most likely be funneled into purchasing the lightly carbonated consumables...

Yet more anecdotal evidence in support of the theory that the quantity of beer consumed has a non-linear relationship to one's chess ability. Thank you for sharing.

I now profoundly regret the informal nature of my first post as I do not feel it held sufficient gravitas for such an important research undertaking. As you correctly point out, I only realized in vino (or more specifically fermented malted grain) veritas, that the correct tone for any groundbreaking scientific endeavor of this magnitude was extremely formal and deadly serious...

We have drunken opening like this: 1. a4, 2.h4 regardless what black does.

I have related experience in this area.

In college, I had a 3 hour Economics final exam.  The class was easy and I understood the material.  I had a party planned for after the test.

I decided not to wait.  I drank 3 or 4 beers before going to my final exam.

There were two problems

1. Stuff that should have been easy, now was not.  I could not think clearly.  Unfortunately for science, I never found out the actual score on the test nor got a chance to look back over it while sober.

2. I had a powerful urge to go to the bathroom.  This is not good in a 3 hour exam.  I managed to get permission to go once, but soon after I had to go again.  I couldn't bring myself to request a second trip to the bathroom in a 3 hour test.  That alone had an affect on my ability to think.

For 30 minute chess games, one trip to the bathroom can be costly.

Yes, unfortunate for science indeed. I hope that this event did not fundamentally negatively alter your life-path?

The bathroom issue is indeed a pertinent variable to consider in order to standardize our experimental approach.  For game 1 I did in fact visit the restroom immediate prior to the start of the game, but due to having just rapidly consumed an entire pint of beer just prior to my first move, it was not long before a second trip was warranted.  Luckily for me, both my opponent and I were playing relatively quickly for a 30/0 game that could have lasted up to an hour, and I did not feel physiological stress in this regard... or perhaps I should clarify... I felt significant physiological stress, but this was not due to the need to visit the restroom, but rather the dawning realization that I had already publically committed to making available on this thread an annotated version of an increasingly humiliating game of chess (see Game 1 at the start of this thread)...

Like a glutton for punishment, I have again publically committed to posting another game of inebriated chess, most likely tomorrow.  This may prove embarrassing, but we must make sacrifices for the greater good of our civilization, and to ensure we continue on our slow steady path to enlightenment.

Anything more than the merest whiff of ale - a teeny sip - and my already rather scatty approach to the game goes out the window like a scared moth.

Can't be arsed reading the whole thread, but here's my suggestion for a dynamic handicapping system.....every time you take a piece you have a drink.

Should lead to a better chance of winning for the loser in subsequent games

Congratulations, arsetronomer, you've just (re)invented alcoholic chess!

In the mean time, my avatar has gone all fuzzy. I should ask my cat if he got into the vodka again last night.

Interestingly this is probably the most serious discussion on chess.com in years.

To win stay away from beer and hard alcohol

I poured three beers into my PC. It instantly stopped playing altogether ):

I am prepared to bring a West of England perspective to this discussion by necking a pint of cider.

You guys are doing it wrong. Drink and play chess, but don't play online. Online you look like a friggin idiot, and you guys are only drinking 3 beers. Go get some friends that are around your level in chess to play in person (if they are worse than you drink more than them, if they are better drink less) and have like 8 beers. You'll have some really fun games then.

for a 30 min, the quality of the play was terrible.

I think having 8 beers would force a draw in most cases.

It has my attention!

You're confusing 3 pints with 3 beers, young man. US beer comes in 12 oz cans, I think, so 3 pints is 5 of them. And 5% beer is strongish, so call it 6 cans. Drunk in about an hour or so after a hot days work would certainly have my mood improved