I have to say that this has developed into perhaps the funniest thread I've read this year.

Thanks, guys.

Rael wrote:
c) I'm not sure if I should say "Welcome to the internet" here, and ask you how it's been working out for you to go around asking people to politely refrain from offending you, or to say Welcome to the planet Earth.

 LMAO

Edit:  Sorry Ben, but you really need to learn to pick your fights better;)

This is all very funny, I hope not to get too serious by returning to the mainline of the post.

    I believe everything in our body works the way muscles do. Train them and they'll get stronger. I'm not sure it works for the pipi-machine, but it most certainly does for the brain. I'm sure chess contributes a lot to exercise our minds and keep it sharp and healthy for a lot longer. Of course you'll find guys who get completely nuts over chess and eventually go mad... but people go mad on prety much anything else so it's not something to worry abooouuttt  iuHU HU HU!! BLAH BLAHHH LALAL ALAH H hh  where was I? right.. Chess is a healthy way to spend our time, but probably not very different from those crazy dudes who actually enjoy solving complex math problems and the like.

Omicron wrote:

I'm not sure it works for the pipi-machine, but it most certainly does for the brain.

What's a pipi-machine ?

Rael wrote:

You know I wish someone had told me as I was getting out of bed this morning:

"Rael, I must warn you. Today you will greatly offend someone.

By quoting Star Wars. On the internet."

It goes beyond that. After my comment, you could have easily clarified and we could have moved on. Instead, you chose to spit out caustic remarks and take an incredibly arrogant, haughty stance of somebody who has *gasp* a knowledge of Star Wars quotes.

Really, mocking me because I didn't pick up on your cultural reference is ridiculously idiotic. But I suppose it would be just silly of me to expect anything different from you.

Finally, your:

"I'm not sure if I should say "Welcome to the internet" here, and ask you how it's been working out for you to go around asking people to politely refrain from offending you, or to say Welcome to the planet Earth.

If the sentence "I find your lack of faith disturbing" really offends you, please do not leave your house. Ever. There's a real danger that you might see and/or hear things slightly worse, and requesting that these offenses politely refrain from offending you will not be 100% effective in all instances."

...Was completely unnecessary and illustrative of your inherently pompous and offensive attitude. Although your original comment may not have been offensive, given it's origin, those remarks certainly were.

By the way, you shouldn't recommend we discontinue our argument, only to pick it back up and continue refrencing it later.

EDIT: Sorry phishcakes, but I couldn't care less about how you think I should pick my fights.

Dear God, it's me, Rael. I'm praying to you today for forgiveness. You see, it turns out I wrote a sentence on the internet that really stressed some poor soul out. But that's not all, Lord, no, in fact, when this poor soul expressed the degree of his upsetness by indicating that he'd been offended, well, Lord, I couldn't stop myself from pointing out his fail at teh internets. I'm sorry Lord, you know me, I can't help it... it's my inherently pompous and offensive attitude, Lord. I even made a little picture for him in paint, Lord, would you like to see it?

I'm trying to restrain myself, Lord, but you see, this poor soul is just so easily irritated, he's just so determined to drag out a pointless fight with me, that well, I almost feel bad not giving him the attention he so sorely craves.

So, please forgive me Lord. I hope you find this as lulzy as I do.

I've never before seen such a long-winded attempt at evasion.

phishcake5 wrote:

Rael wrote:
<...> Welcome to <...> planet Earth

Edit:  Sorry Ben, but you really need to learn to pick your fights better;)

To complete the quote : [source - Woody Allen's film Mighty Aphrodite]

", thanks to a broken condom." ;)

NotKasparov wrote:

Well, the Soviets wanted to use chess to prove their intellectual superiority over the capitalists...

and they succeeded!

Benjie, I made a teeshirt for you! When you wear this, you'll never have to worry about being offended ever again!

Darth Vader Rules!!!!

and so do t-shirts.

:)

"Goodbye Major Cinnamon Bun, I will always remember your buttery goodness."

You guys should lighten up.

BenjaminGDelaCruz wrote:

EDIT: Sorry phishcakes, but I couldn't care less about how you think I should pick my fights.

 Fair enough.

Edit:  It's phishcake5 not phishcakes:)

I think everyone is forgetting the obvious.  Chess is useful for getting laid!  Have you ever gone up to a girl (or whatever gender(s) you prefer) and said, "So... ever heard of the Lucena position?".  Works every time.

I've found that chess is a fabulous social tool for meeting inebriated semi-cleansed people at the laundromat. You can also meet people who have freakishly overgrown fingernails. Good times!!

You can't mow the lawn with it, I know that.

I tried.  I put the little horseys out to see if they would graze it down.  They didn't do anything.  Three days.  Nothing.  I finally had to mow it.

And the Pawns, they don't do laundry, either.

And the Bishops, don't even get me started.  I thought they might at least rake leaves.  Nope.

Totally useless.

When i was in highschool, playing/studying chess helped me with my literature and grammer classes. Went from a C to a B+ grade. I applied the same high level principles in chess analysis to my studies and it worked well.

there's no question that it has helped me become a more analytical person, has increased my self confidence and is a good way to pass time.  so it is definitely useful for other aspects of life than the game itself. 

Josh Waitzkin's theory of "building the tension" has remarkable parallels to flirting...