i'm a puffin with a severe drinking problem. My lady puffin had enough of me and took our eggs and left me and then all our friends left our cliff too and left me all alone.
i have a pet rat called Nigel, who has a number of emotional problems and is a constant source of worry and headache. i also have a great nemesis, the Chain Smoking Penguin - a diabolical genius with a penchant for tabacoo of all forms. he wears an eyepatch too - so keep an eye out and be sure to email me if you spot him.
I suffer with Paranoid Schizophrhernia and occassionally my alter ego, Verbally Abusive Smurf, takes over and goes on an acid tongued vendetta -he's a vigilante with a knack for sarcasm.
...i also am a part time pirate...