Sherlock Holmes: A Drama in Four Acts Part 12

Sherlock Holmes 
A Drama in Four Acts

ACT IV (cont..)

[Last dialogue - Well — good night doctor]

WATSON simply bows coldly. MADGE turns to go. The crash of a capsizing vehicle followed by excited shouts of men is heard. This effect must be as if outside the house with doors closed and not close at hand. MADGE stops suddenly on hearing the crash and all shouts. WATSON looks at PARSONS.)

WATSON: What’s that Parsons?

PARSONS: I really can’t say sir but it sounded to me like a haccident.

MADGE (turning to WATSON): Oh dear! I do hope it isn’t anything serious! It affects me terribly to know that anyone is hurt.

WATSON: Probably nothing more than a broken-down cab. See what it is, Parsons.

(Bell and knock. MADGE turns and looks toward door again, anxiously PARSONS turns to go. Sudden vigorous ringing of door bell, followed by the sound of a knocker violently used.)

PARSONS: There’s the bell, sir! There’s somebody ‘urt, sir, an’ they’re a-wantin’ you!

WATSON: Well, don’t allow anybody to come in! (Looks at watch.) I have no more time. (Hurriedly gathers papers up.)

PARSONS:  Very well, sir. (Goes leaving door open.)

(MADGE turns from looking off at door, and looks at WATSON anxiously. Looks toward door again.)

MADGE:  But they’re coming in, doctor. (Retreats backward.) 

WATSON (moving toward door): Parsons! Parsons!

(Sound of voices. Following speeches outside are not in rotation, but jumbled together, so that it is all over very quickly.)

VOICE (outside): We ‘ad to bring ‘im in, man.

VOICE (outside): There’s nowhere else to go!

PARSONS (outside): The doctor can’t see anybody.

VOICE (outside): Well let the old gent lay ‘ere awhile can’t yer. It’s common decency. Wot ‘ave yer got a red lamp ‘angin’ outside yer bloomin’ door for?

VOICE (outside): Yes! yes! let him stay.

(Enter PARSONS at door. Door closes and noise stops.)

PARSONS: They would bring ‘im in, sir. It’s an old gentleman as was ‘urt a bit w’en the cab upset!

MADGE:  Oh!

(Sound of groans, etc. outside, and the old gentleman whining out complaints and threats.)

WATSON: Let them put him here. (Indicating operating chair.) And send at once for Doctor Anstruther.

PARSONS:  Yes, sir! 

WATSON: Help him in Parsons.

(PARSONS goes out)

MADGE: Oh doctor isn’t it frightful. 

WATSON (turning to centre door): Mrs Seaton if you will be so good as to step this way, you can reach the hall, by taking the first door to your left.

MADGE (hesitating): But I — I may be of some use doctor. 

WATSON (with a trifle of impatience) None whatever (Holds door open.)

MADGE: But doctor — I must see the poor fellow — I haven’t the power to go!

WATSON (facing MADGE): Madam, I believe you have some ulterior motive in coming here! You will kindly — 

(Enter at door a white-haired old gentleman in black clerical clothes, white tie, etc., assisted by PARSONS and the DRIVER. He limps as though his leg were hurt. His coat is soiled. His hat is soiled as if it had rolled in the street.  MADGE has retired above desk and watches old gent closely from there without moving.  WATSON turns toward the party as they come in.)

HOLMES (as he comes in): Oh, oh! (He limps so that he hardly touches his right foot to floor)

PARSONS (as he helps HOLMES in): This way, sir! Be careful of the sill, sir! That’s it. (Etc.)

DRIVER (as he comes in, and also beginning outside before entrance): Now we’ll go in ‘ere. You’ll see the doctor an’ it’ll be all right.

HOLMES: No, it won’t be all right.

DRIVER: It was a haccident. You cawn’t ‘elp a haccident.

HOLMES: Yes, you can.

DRIVER: He was on the wrong side of the street. I turned hup — (Etc.)

PARSONS:  Now over to this chair. (Indicating operating chair). 

HOLMES (pushing back and trying to stop at the desk chair) No, I’ll sit here.

PARSONS: No, this is the chair, sir.

HOLMES: Don’t I know where I want to sit?

DRIVER (impatiently): You’ll sit ‘ere. (They lead him up to operating chair.)

DRIVER (as they lead him up): Now, the doctor’ll have a look at ye. ‘Ere’s the doctor.

HOLMES: That isn’t a doctor.

DRIVER:  It is a doctor. (Seeing WATSON.) ‘Ere, doctor, will you just come and have a look at this old gent? (HOLMES trying to stop him.) He’s hurt ‘isself a little, an’ — an’ — 

HOLMES (trying to stop DRIVER): Wait, wait, wait!

DRIVER:  Well, well?

HOLMES (still standing back to audience and turned to DRIVER): Are you the driver?

DRIVER:  Yes, I’m the driver.

HOLMES:  Well, I’ll have you arrested for this.

DRIVER:  Arrested?

HOLMES: Arrested, arrested, arrested!

DRIVER:  You cawn’t arrest me.

HOLMES: I can’t, but somebody else can.

DRIVER:  ‘Ere, ‘ere. (Trying to urge HOLMES to chair.)

HOLMES: You are a very disagreeable man! You are totally uninformed on every subject! I wonder you are able to live in the same house with yourself.

(The DRIVER is trying to talk back and make HOLMES sit down. HOLMES turns suddenly on PARSONS. WATSON is trying to attract PARSONS’ attention.)

Are you a driver?

PARSONS:  No, sir!

HOLMES:  Well, what are you?

PARSONS:  I’m the butler, sir.

HOLMES: Butler! Butler!

DRIVER:  He’s the doctor’s servant.

HOLMES: Who’d have such a looking butler as you! What fool would — 

DRIVER (turning HOLMES toward him roughly): He is the doctor’s servant!

HOLMES: Who asked you who he was?

DRIVER:  Never mind who asked me—I’m telling you.

HOLMES: Well, go and tell somebody else.

DRIVER (trying to push HOLMES into chair): Sit down here. Sit down and be quiet

WATSON (to PARSONS): Have a cab ready for me. I must see if he’s badly hurt.

PARSONS:  Yes, sir. (Goes.)

HOLMES (resisting): Quiet! quiet! Where’s my hat? My hat! My hat!

DRIVER: Never mind your ‘at.

HOLMES: I will mind my hat! and I hold you responsible— 

DRIVER:  There’s your hat in your ‘and.

HOLMES (looks at hat): That isn’t my hat! Here! (DRIVER trying to push him into chair.) You’re responsible. (In chair.) I’ll have you arrested. (Clinging to DRIVER’S coat tail as he tries to get away 
to door) Here come back (Choking with rage) 

DRIVER (first wrenching away coat from HOLMES’ grasp at door): I cawn’t stay around ‘ere, you know! Some one’lI pinching my cab. (Exit.)

HOLMES (screaming after him): Then bring your cab in here. I want — (Lapses into groans and remonstrances.) Why didn’t somebody stop him? These cabmen! What did he bring me in for? I know where I am, it’s a conspiracy. I won’t stay in this place. If I ever get out of here alive — (Etc.)

WATSON (steps quickly to door, speaking off): Parsons — that man’s number (quickly to old gent) Now sir if you’ll be quiet for one moment, I’ll have a look at you! (Crosses to end of cabinet as if to look for instrument.)

(MADGE advances near to the old gentleman, looking at him closely. She suddenly seems to be satisfied of something, backs away, and reaching out as if to get to the window and give signal, then coming face to face with WATSON as he turns, and smiling pleasantly at him. Business with glove. She begins to glide down stage, making a sweep around toward door as if to get out.  She shows by her expression that she has recognized HOLMES, but is instantly herself again, thinking possibly thatHOLMES is watch her, and she wishes to evade suspicion regarding her determination to get off at door. Quick as a flash the old gentleman springs to the door and stands facing her. She stops suddenly on finding him facing her, then wheels quickly about and goes rapidly across toward window)

HOLMES (sharp): Don’t let her get to that window.

(WATSON, who had moved up a little above windows, instantly springs before the windows. MADGE stops on being headed off in that direction.)

WATSON: Is that you, Holmes?

(MADGE stands motionless.)

HOLMES: Quite so. (Takes off his wig, etc.)

WATSON: What do you want me to do?

HOLMES (easily): That’s all, you’ve done it. Don’t do anything more just now.

(MADGE gives a sharp look at them, then goes very slowly for a few steps and suddenly turns and makes a dash for centre door.)

WATSON: Look out, Holmes! She can get out that way. (A step or two up.)

(MADGE runs off. HOLMES is unmoved.)

HOLMES: I don’t think so. (Saunters over to above WATSON’S desk.) Well, well, what remarkable weather we’re having, doctor, eh? (Suddenly seeing cigarettes on desk.) Ah! I’m glad to see that you keep a few prescriptions carefully done up. (Picks up a cigarette and sits on desk.) Good for the nerves! (HOLMES finds matches and lights cigarette.) Have you ever observed, Watson, that those people are always making— 

(Enter the DRIVER.)

FORMAN (speaking at once — so as to break in on HOLMES): I’ve got her, sir!

(Very brief pause.)

WATSON: Good heavens! Is that Forman?

(HOLMES nods “Yes.”)

HOLMES: Yes, that’s Forman all right. Has Inspector Bradstreet Come with his men?

FORMAN: Yes, sir. One of ‘em’s in the hall there ‘olding her. The others are in the kitchen garden. They came in over the back Wall from Mortimer Street.

HOLMES: One moment. (Sits in thought.) Watson, my dear fellow — (WATSON moves toward HOLMES at desk.) As you doubtless gather from the little episode that has just taken place we are making the arrests. The scoundrels are hot on my track. To get me out of the way is the one chance left to them — and I taking advantage of their mad pursuit to draw them where we quietly lay our hands on them —one by one. We’ve made a pretty good haul already — four last night in the gas chamber — seven this afternoon in various places, and one more just now, but I regret to say that up to this time the Professor himself has so far not risen to the bait.

WATSON: Where do you think he is now? 

HOLMES: In the open streets — under some clever disguise —  watching for a chance to get at me. 

WATSON: And was this woman sent in here to—

HOLMES: Quite so. A spy — to let them know by some signal, probably at that window — (pointing) — if she found me in the house. And it has Just occurred to me that it might not be such a bad idea to try the Professor with that bait. Forman! (Motions him to come down.)

FORMAN: Yes, sir!

HOLMES (voice lower) One moment (Business) Bring that Larrabee woman back here for a moment, and when I light a fresh cigarette — let go your hold on her — carelessly — as if your attention was attracted to something else. Get hold of her again when I tell you.

FORMAN:  Very well sir.

(Goes quickly to re-enter bringing in MADGE LARRABEE. They stop. MADGE calm, but looks at HOLMES with the utmost hatred. Brief pause.)

HOLMES: My dear Mrs. Larrabee — (MADGE, who has looked away, turns to him angrily) — I took the liberty of having you brought in for a moment — (puffs cigarette, which he has nearly finished) —in order to convey to you in a few fitting words — my sincere sympathy in your rather — unpleasant — predicament,

MADGE (hissing it out angrily between her teeth): It’s a lie! It’s a lie! There’s no predicament.

HOLMES: Ah — I’m charmed to gather — from your rather forcible observation — that you do not regard it as such. Quite right, too. Our prisons are so well conducted now. Many consider them quite as comfortable as most of the hotels. Quieter and more orderly.

MADGE: How the prisons are conducted is no concern of mine! There is nothing they can hold me for—nothing.

HOLMES: Oh — to be sure. (Putting fresh cigarette in mouth.) There may be something in that. Still — it occurred to me that you might prefer to be near your unfortunate husband — eh? (Rises from table and goes to gas burner. Slight good-natured chuckle.) We hear a great deal about the heroic devotion of wives, and all that — (lights cigarette at gas) — rubbish. You know, Mrs. Larrabee, when we come right down to it — (FORMAN carelessly relinquishes his hold on MADGE’S arm, and seems to have his attention called to door. Stands as if listening to something outside. MADGE gives a quick glance about and at HOLMES who is lighting a cigarette at the gas, and apparently not noticing anything. She makes a sudden dash for the window, quickly snaps up blind and makes a rapid motion up and down before window with right hand — then turns quickly, facing HOLMES with triumphant defiance. HOLMES is still lighting cigarette.)

Many thanks. (To FORMAN.) That’s all, Forman. Pick her up again.

(FORMAN at once goes to MADGE and turns her and waits in front of window — holding her right wrist.)

Doctor, would you kindly pull the blind down once more. I don’t care to be shot from the street.