Airbus Announces A390

The Airbus A390, the long sought-after triple-decker airliner is here! With so many new introductions on this specific, totally un-special day in the beginning of April, like the introduction of chessboxing on chess.com's website, the A390 is just the cherry on top!

Airbus announced earlier today that the A390 would be built on an A380's airframe, with an A320 airframe precariously riveted to the top, raising concerns about safety. However, a spokesperson reassured the media, stating that the "A320 fuselage will be securely bolted on top, with only the finest rivets we found on sale at Amazon", and that the new craft will employ state-of-the-art safety tech. However, due to the actually bonkers height-to-width ratio on the A390, pilots are forbidden from sneezing, as it could cause an uncontrollable top-heavy spin.

In order to accommodate the 1.2 million-pound airframe, the A390 will feature 8 Pratt & Whitney Ultra-Quiet JTS388 steam boiler-jet-rocket-nuclear engines engines along its 118-meter wingspan. The engines require a 4-hour pre-heating phase using a giant oversized coal shovel, currently being developed by Airbus Ground Support. In order to fit into passenger gates, the wings will fold like accordions, cutting the wingspan by 1/8. This means that the passengers in the winglet seats will be rotated 90 degrees and must sit horizontally until taxi.

It is set to be the largest passenger airliner in production, carrying a whopping 1200 passengers, with the bottom deck set to be entirely subway-style standing room to maximize space. Due to the predicted avgeek explosion around the craft, flights on an A390 will be double price for the first year after its introduction.

This massive plane will include groundbreaking innovations, including a 3.7 million dollar FREPPS system that Airbus designed. This revolutionary system is set to increase fuel efficiency by up to 0.000000001% (terms and conditions apply).

Speaking about the plane, an Airbus PR rep released this statement: 

"With the A390, we asked ourselves: 'Why build a plane that fits the airport, when we can force every airport in the world to rebuild their entire infrastructure?' It’s not just a plane; it’s a logistical ultimatum." — Jean-Luc Aerodynamic, Head of Ambitious Projects.

The aviation world is set to be rocked by this remarkable craft, and rumors have it that Boeing, not to be outdone, has their own plane in the works-- the 797 quad decker!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  
                                                         Happy April Fool's Day!!