UPPITY DECLARED A NOXIOUS WEED

Glamorgan County Chess Club (alias Team Wales National side) have blocked Isle of Man's application for a friendly against Glamorgan on the grounds the proposed match title choice of words is anything but 'friendly'.  One Official who declined to be named shouted angrily to the gathering crowd as he was dragged away "Uppity's tongue needs a severe pruning and a double dose of Round Up administered."

When asked for a comment Uppity said: "I am upset that the Manx would be denied the right to seize the second Crown by a bunch of such petulant precious petals."