5 Dumb Things Chess Players Say

5 Dumb Things Chess Players Say

pete
Apr 13, 2015, 12:00 AM |
95 | Fun & Trivia

Last week, we had some fun discussing dumb things your non-chess friends say about the game.

In chess as in life, turnabout is fair play. It's time to laugh at the silly things chess players themselves say -- and there's certainly no shortage of those.

Here's a list of five stupid things chess players say. 

Let us know the dumb things you've heard chess players say in the comments and on Facebook


1. Declaring "checkmate" to win an argument.

This one is so cliche it's already become a self-parodied meme.

If you've ever found yourself saying "checkmate" to conclude a long-winded rant, it might be time to reconsider your choice of closing words -- or the rant entirely.

2. Calling mundane activities "strong moves" or "blunders."

Chess players have lives too, but sometimes it's hard for them to mentally separate the game from the everyday things on their to-do lists. 

Using a coupon, getting a good parking space, calling ahead for a reservation: these things are common sense, not tactical brilliancies. Picking the wrong checkout lane is not on par with blundering your rook and doesn't require commensurate self-remorse, either. 

3. Insisting chess is a sport.

Chess is certainly a rigorous game, a high-stakes battle of the minds. It's definitely competitive and some people play it professionally. But is it truly a sport?

While performing at the top level of chess does require high physical fitness and endurance, chess is not a traditional sport where bodily exertion plays the largest role.

While normal, slow chess is probably not a sport, maybe giant-piece bullet chess counts:


4. Asking friends to watch their tournament games.

What, were all the seats to watch paint dry sold out?

A chess tournament game might be exciting for you, where seven hours feel like 30 minutes. But to non-chess-playing spectators, it might feel like 14 hours, and they may find more excitement staring at the wall.  

5. Suggesting chess as a first date.

This might work if you're one of the 14 cutest chess couples...

photo by Joachim Schulze

...but it's probably not a great idea for the rest of us. Chess players, when arranging your dates, keep the game on the back burner -- at least for the first few weeks. 

Magnus Carlsen has said in interviews that has the opposite problem: women always want to talk to Magnus about how they've played chess with their grandfather, and he wants to talk about anything else.

Until you're world champion, it's best to leave chess out of your romantic endeavors entirely. 

Let us know the silliest things you've heard chess players say in the comments and on Facebook

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