Sharing Conversation During the Game

My wife and I have been married for 23 years. On our anniversary weekend back in May, I took her to the Indianapolis 500. Over the years, I have taken her somewhere for our anniversary at least 20 of the years. We may only spend one night or we may be gone for a week. This was a one-day trip since Indianapolis is so close to where we live.

Over the years, I can only think of two of those anniversary trips that she has known where we were going before we left. And she planned one of the trips. She is a curious person, so she always tries to get some clues to where we are going. For example, she will ask if she should bring her swimsuit (to find out if we are going south). My answers are usually evasive, like: sure, you can always use it at the pool. Anyway, this trip I decided that I had better ask to be sure, and she was excited about going (what a woman!).

One of my favorite parts of these trips has been time away together alone. I remember our tenth anniversary. I took her away from our sons for the longest time of their lives to that point. We took a road trip: drove over 600 miles to Jekyll Island, Georgia, where we had honeymooned. We spent two nights there; drove more than 400 miles to Ft. Myers, Florida and spent one night; drove more than 300 miles to Key West, Florida, and spent three nights; drove over 800 miles to Destin, Florida, and spent two nights; then drove over 500 miles home.

Eight days, seven nights, and nearly 3000 miles, and you want to know what the best part of the trip was? Conversation in the car. We talked more on that trip than we had talked in months--something about a captive audience!

Sharing a journey can add much to its enjoyment. And the same is true for our journey in the game of chess. I can play chess with a computer, but it does not compare to playing a live opponent. And computers do not tend to communicate. Yes, I realize that some players do not like to talk when they play. But some do. And getting to know players all over the world is such an added bonus to digital chess that we should attempt to appreciate the player as we appreciate the chess he/she plays.

Ask where the player lives. Ask about how long he/she has played. Don't do it to distract. Do it out of respect and genuine interest. If he/she prefers not to communicate, respect that preference. Chess and those with whom we play should respect the game and do what it takes to enrich the experience. People are what make chess interesting. Show your interest in them!