Wow! for arachnephobes it's spine chilling, but be careful to keep your tense of verbs, present or past, consistent. It's much more concise than Poe's horror story, "The Pit and the Pendulum."
A Very Short Story
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Thanks! I'll watch those tenses, I've had problems with them before.
I also thought it was very Poe-esque. And, yeah, what JCharles said. Other than that. Not bad for a debut! Do you have other flash-fiction? I'd be interested in seeing them.
On a side note, I wonder if this one was inspired by a dream of your own, where you embellished it with a fictional context?
Thanks, Poe is a huge inspration for me, so I do write in a similar way.
I do have more fiction, but I have to type it up first. :)
It was actually inspired by a line in a song by Alkaline Trio that goes, "Tuck me in with the turantulas, I wanna let them in my mouth, down my throat and lay their eggs."
Hi, this is my first entry with this group, somthing I wrote awhile ago. Enjoy, and please tell me what you think! :)
The Rhythm Under the Skin
He stared up, his eyes fixated on what he thinks is the ceiling, but the room is dark, so he cannot be sure. The bed on which he lays is hard and unforgiving, but is still better than the concrete floor. He breathed deep on the air that smelled like iron and rain. He could not move, but nor did he want to, for he was in perfect bliss with the room. It started to rain. He could tell from the noise coming from the high window. He likes rain. He closed his eyes, preparing to sleep when he heard scuttling from far end of the room. He was not afraid. He felt no fear in his utopian room. It came closer. He grew calmer. The rain turned into soft thuds on the stone walls. He felt the vibrations from the thing scuttling up the leg of his bed. It began to crawl up under his pant leg and up, it’s eight hairy legs making a soft rhythm on his bare chest. It stopped at his neck. Many more, smaller, eight legged fiends began crawling through the window, for the soft thuds was them falling from the sky. They all crawled onto every bare inch of skin, making him a coat of arachnids. He smiled and opened his mouth, as if he was inviting them into his body. They obliged. They poured into him from every opening. They went in his mouth, through his ears, and under his eyelids. They crawled around under his skin, and he enjoyed the massage their legs gave him under the skin in his arms, head, legs, and chest. They all stopped and began chewing their way out from the inside. He laughed.
He awoke with a start, breathing deeply. He finally calmed down, and fell back to a deep sleep. As he slept, a lone spider crawled up his neck and into his ear to weave a web of mischief in his subconscious.