Fractured dawn part 1 (Edit)

(my book, again if you find anything I missed tell me and I'll fix it) * "Fractured Dawn" *Quinn (14):* Resourceful, determined, and fiercely independent. Quinn has learned to rely only on themselves in the harsh world of homelessness. They have a sharp mind and a quick wit, often finding creative solutions to survive. Despite their tough exterior, Quinn has a soft spot for Sarah and will do anything to protect her. *Sarah (9):* Precocious, curious, and optimistic. Sarah's innocence and naivety often help her see the world in a more positive light, despite their difficult circumstances. She looks up to Quinn as a protector and friend, and her energy often helps lift Quinn's spirits. *22 hours, 4 minutes, and 5 seconds before "the thing"* Quinn and Sarah huddle together in their usual spot, a hidden alleyway between two abandoned buildings. The sun is slowly rising, casting a warm glow over the desolate landscape. Quinn stretches, arching their back to relieve the stiffness from another night on the hard ground. "Morning, kiddo," they say, smiling at Sarah. Sarah grins, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "Morning, Quinn! I had the craziest dream last night!" Quinn chuckles, "Oh yeah? What happened?" As Sarah begins to recount her dream, Quinn's mind wanders to their current situation. They're hungry, and their supplies are running low. They need to find food and shelter soon. “I had a bad dream last night, in it there weren’t anyone at all and I called every name I could think of until I saw a mansion it looked as abandoned as our town did in the dream so in my dream I went inside and saw a calendar that had tomorrow’s date circled in red ink with the words “big day, it ends today”’ Quinn's expression turns serious as Sarah recounts her dream. "A mansion, abandoned like the town... and a calendar with tomorrow's date circled in red ink?" Quinn repeats, their mind racing. Sarah nods, "Yeah, and it said 'big day, it ends today.' I felt so scared and alone in the dream." Quinn's eyes narrow, a shiver running down their spine. "That's quite a dream, kiddo. Maybe it's just your mind processing everything that's been happening." But Quinn can't shake off the feeling that something is off. They glance around the alleyway, as if expecting something to be different. Sarah looks up at Quinn, her eyes wide with concern. "Do you think it's a sign of something, Quinn? Maybe we should be careful tomorrow." Quinn forces a reassuring smile, "Don't worry, Sarah. It's just a dream. We'll be fine." But as they settle back into their spot, Quinn's mind keeps drifting back to the dream. The abandoned town, the mansion, and the ominous message on the calendar. Suddenly, Quinn's thoughts are interrupted by the sound of footsteps echoing through the alleyway. Quinn's instincts kick in, and they subtly position themselves between Sarah and the approaching person. Their eyes narrow, sizing up the potential threat. As the footsteps draw closer, Quinn's hand instinctively goes to the small knife they keep hidden in their pocket. They've had to defend themselves before, and while they don't enjoy fighting, they're prepared to do whatever it takes to protect themselves and Sarah. Sarah, sensing Quinn's tension, looks up at them with wide eyes. "Quinn, what's wrong?" Quinn's voice is low and even, "Just stay close, kiddo. I've got this." The person rounds the corner, and Quinn's eyes assess the situation. It's a young adult, probably in their early twenties. They look rough around the edges, but not necessarily threatening. However, Quinn's experience has taught them that appearances can be deceiving. They remain vigilant, ready to react if necessary. The young adult notices Quinn and Sarah, and their eyes flicker between the two. For a moment, Quinn thinks they'll just pass by, but then the person's gaze lingers on Quinn, and they take a step closer. .Authors note: Quinn is gender fluid, they are sometimes male sometimes female, they were male at birth but they’re more likely to be female than male, their pronouns are he/him and she/her depending. They are also bisexual. The young adult, a messy-haired individual with a rugged look, takes another step closer. "I'm not looking for trouble," they say, eyes fixed on Quinn. "I just need to ask for directions. I'm looking for a place to crash for the night." Quinn's expression remains guarded, hand still gripping the knife. "What makes you think I know anything?" they ask, voice neutral. The young adult hesitates, glancing around the alleyway before focusing on Quinn. "I saw you two hiding here. Figured you might know the area." Sarah speaks up, "We don't know anything," she says, trying to sound convincing. The young adult's eyes flicker to Sarah, then back to Quinn. "Okay, no problem. I'll just keep looking." Quinn watches the person walk away, feeling a mix of relief and unease. Something about the encounter didn't feel right. As the young adult disappears from view, Quinn turns to Sarah. "Let's get out of here. Find a new spot for the night." Sarah nods, and together they gather their belongings, moving cautiously through the alleys and side streets. Quinn and Sarah navigate the desolate streets, their senses heightened as they search for a new place to hide. The sun is slowly rising, casting a golden glow over the abandoned buildings. As they turn a corner, Quinn's phone, which they had managed to keep charged, displays the time: 7:31 AM. Quinn's heart beats faster, a sense of unease growing in their chest. For no reason, they feel a sudden urge to find shelter, to get as far away from the open streets as possible. Sarah notices Quinn's tension and looks up at them with concern. "Quinn, what's wrong?" Quinn's eyes scan the surroundings, searching for a safe haven. "I don't know, kiddo. Just a feeling." The seconds tick by, and Quinn's phone displays the time again: 7:32 AM. In the distance, a strange, pulsating glow begins to emanate from the direction of the nuclear power plant on the outskirts of town. Quinn's heart skips a beat as they realize what's happening. "The thing" is happening. A blinding flash of light fills the sky, and the world around Quinn and Sarah begins to change forever. As the radiation dissipates, Quinn and Sarah find themselves standing amidst the ruins of the city. The once-familiar streets are now a desolate landscape of rubble and debris. But they're not alone. As they look at each other, they notice something strange. They're both glowing with a soft, pulsing light. Quinn's eyes widen as they realize what's happening. "Sarah, I think we're... changing." Sarah's eyes sparkle with wonder. "I feel it too, Quinn! It's like my body is being rewritten." As they speak, their bodies begin to shift and adapt. Their muscles grow stronger, their senses become more acute, and their minds expand with new possibilities. Quinn discovers they can teleport anywhere, instantly. Sarah finds she can run at incredible speeds and lift massive objects with ease. But with these new powers comes an unexpected cost. Their bodies, unaccustomed to the radiation, become... unreliable. Quinn and Sarah exchange a mortified glance as they realize they need to wear diapers. Days pass, and they learn to navigate their new abilities and, ahem, limitations. They explore the abandoned city, searching for answers and resources. One day, while teleporting to a new location, Quinn materializes in a strange, unfamiliar city. They find themselves face to face with a group of eight individuals, all with similar powers and, yes, diapers. The group introduces themselves: Nate, Heather ("Babe"), Gordon, Timmy, Lily, Rachel, Michel, and Silver (the 19-year-old Quinn had not yet met). Quinn's eyes widen as they take in the diverse group. "You guys... you're like us?" Silver nods, a warm smile on their face. "We're the only ones left. And we're not alone. We have each other." As the group settles into their new reality, they face a challenge: managing their diapers. The older ones, like Quinn, Nate, and Silver, can change themselves, but the younger ones, like Sarah, Gordon, and the twins, require assistance. Quinn takes on a mentorship role, helping the younger ones with their diapers and teaching them how to cope with their new reality. The 3-year-old twins, Rachel and Michel, prove to be a handful during diaper changes. They squirm and giggle, thinking it's a game. Quinn and the others can't help but laugh at their antics. Heather, a confident and charismatic lesbian, takes a keen interest in Quinn's well-being. She offers words of encouragement and support, and Quinn begins to appreciate her friendship. Unbeknownst to Quinn, Heather might be developing feelings for them. Silver, a trans man, becomes a valuable source of guidance and advice. He shares his experiences and helps the group navigate their new reality. As they work together, the group discovers their powers are not only a blessing but also a curse. They must learn to control their abilities and manage their diapers to survive. One day, while changing Sarah's diaper, Quinn notices Heather watching them with a soft expression. Quinn wonders if Heather might be more than just a friend, but they haven't noticed anything yet. Authors note: I wanted to give them personalities so that’s why this is included. First I gave them personalities and their innermost personal secret (could be something that their embarrassed of, or ashamed of or it could be something bad they did that they wished they Hadn’t like heathers which is “my secret is when I was 8 or 9 I was interested in what made me different from boys, I was already homeless and parentless so I didn’t have no one to go to to ask it so I ask my friend, who had a reputation as a bad one, what makes him different from me and he said I’ll show you if you promise you’ll do something for me so I promise and ya he showed me the promise i made isn't important...”) Here are the personalities and innermost personal secrets for each character: *Quinn*: Resourceful, determined, and fiercely independent. Quinn is a natural leader and protector, but also has a compassionate side. Secret: Quinn has a deep-seated fear of losing control and being vulnerable. They've built walls around themselves to prevent others from getting too close, but this also makes it hard for them to form intimate relationships. *Sarah*: Precocious, curious, and optimistic. Sarah's innocence and naivety often help her see the world in a more positive light. Secret: Sarah sometimes feels guilty for being alive when so many others perished in the meltdown. She wonders if she's special or just lucky. *Nate*: Confident, charismatic, and protective. Nate is a natural leader and has a strong sense of justice. Secret: Nate was involved in a violent incident before the meltdown, which left someone seriously hurt. He's haunted by the memory and fears his friends will discover his past. *Heather ("Babe")*: Confident, outgoing, and fiercely loyal. Heather is a natural caregiver and has a strong sense of empathy. Secret: Heather's story, as shared earlier, reveals a painful and vulnerable experience from her past. She's ashamed of what happened and fears being judged or rejected by others. *Silver*: Wise, compassionate, and introspective. Silver is a natural mediator and has a deep understanding of human nature. Secret: Silver struggled with suicidal thoughts during his transition, feeling like he didn't belong in the world. He's grateful for his new life but still grapples with self-doubt. *Gordon*: Quiet, reserved, and analytical. Gordon is a brilliant problem-solver and has a keen eye for detail. Secret: Gordon feels responsible for his younger brother Timmy's well-being and worries that he's not doing enough to protect him. *Timmy*: Playful, energetic, and curious. Timmy is a bundle of joy and always looks up to his big brother Gordon. Secret: Timmy sometimes wishes he could be more like the twins, carefree and playful, but feels like he needs to be more responsible. *Lily*: Sweet, gentle, and artistic. Lily is a creative soul and loves to express herself through music and art. Secret: Lily has a hidden talent for hacking and has been secretly accessing old computer systems to learn more about the world before the meltdown. *Rachel and Michel*: Mischievous, playful, and energetic. The twins are always getting into trouble and love to play pranks on their friends. Secret: The twins sometimes take advantage of their age and innocence to get out of doing chores or following rules, which can be frustrating for the others. The group is busy scavenging for supplies when they're ambushed by a group of hostile survivors. The attackers are well-armed and seem to have a personal vendetta against Nate. As the group fights for their lives, Nate's secret is revealed in the heat of the moment. One of the attackers, a woman, calls out to Nate, "You're the one who hurt my brother! You're a monster!" The group is shocked, and Nate's reputation is called into question. Heather, in particular, feels betrayed, as she had trusted Nate with her own secret. Heather confronts Nate, "How could you not tell us? We thought we knew you!" Nate's eyes drop in shame, "I was young, stupid, and angry. I didn't mean to hurt anyone." The group is divided, some wanting to forgive Nate, while others demand answers. Quinn, sensing the tension, steps in to mediate. As they discuss Nate's past, Heather's secret is accidentally revealed as well. The group is shocked, but instead of judgment, they offer support and understanding. Silver speaks up, "We've all made mistakes. We've all got secrets. But we're in this together now. We need to trust each other." The group begins to heal, bonding over their shared vulnerabilities. But the external threat remains, and they must work together to protect themselves. Nate's eyes widen as he sees his sister,Ava , among the hostile survivors. He takes a step forward, hoping to appeal to her, but she won't even look at him. Ava’s voice is cold, "I'm glad we got separated, Nate. This way, I don't have to defect to the side I'm already on." Nate's face falls, hurt by her words. He tries to reason with her, "Ava , please. We're family. We should be together, not fighting each other." But Ava’s expression remains unforgiving, "You're not my family, Nate. Not after what you did." The group exchanges uneasy glances, sensing the deep-seated conflict between Nate and his sister. Heather steps forward, trying to mediate, "Ava, we're not looking for trouble. We just want to survive." But Ava’s response is venomous, "You're all just like him. Selfish and cruel. We'll take what we need, and you'll pay for what Nate did." The situation escalates, with both sides refusing to back down. Quinn's leadership is tested as they try to find a peaceful resolution. Silver's eyes lock onto Ava’s , "I sense a deep pain in you, Ava . One that goes beyond Nate's actions. Can we help you find healing?" Ava's gaze flickers to Silver, and for a moment, a glimmer of uncertainty appears. But then her expression hardens again, "I don't need your help. I just need you to pay." Silver's eyes narrow, sensing a deeper issue. He wonders if Ava's anger is directed not just at Nate, but also at their father. Silver's thoughts: "The way Ava said 'you're just like him'... it feels like there's more to this story. Could 'him' refer to their father, not Nate? Is Ava's anger rooted in a deeper pain?" The group exchanges uneasy glances, sensing the complex emotions at play. Silver takes a step forward, trying to reach Ava, "Ava, I sense a deeper pain in you. One that goes beyond Nate's actions. Can we help you find healing?" Ava's eyes flash with anger, and she swiftly draws a knife from her belt, holding it at a threatening angle. Her voice is low and deadly, "Don't take another step, Silver. I won't be threatened." The group freezes, realizing too late that Ava is not someone to be underestimated. Nate's eyes widen in horror, "Ava, no, please..." Ava's gaze never leaves Silver, "You think you can fix me? You think you can just waltz in here and make everything okay? You don't know what I've been through." Silver's eyes lock onto the knife, but he doesn't back down, "Ava, I'm not trying to threaten you. I just want to help." Ava's laughter is cold and mirthless, "Help? You want to help? You're just like him, always trying to control me, always trying to fix me." The situation is precarious, with Ava's knife still raised. The twins, Rachel and Michel, charge towards Ava, their 3-year-old legs moving swiftly. Ava, caught off guard, doesn't react in time. Michel kicks her leg, while Rachel grabs the knife, fascinated by its shine. Ava cries out in surprise, stumbling backward as she tries to regain her balance. The knife slips from her grasp, and Rachel holds it up, admiring its sparkle. The group gasps, horrified, "Rachel, no! Drop it!" But Rachel doesn't understand, "Mine! Shiny!" Ava's face contorts in a mix of anger and fear, "Give me that! You don't know what you're doing!" Silver swiftly moves towards Rachel, trying to gently pry the knife from her grasp. "Rachel, sweetie, let go. It's not a toy." Rachel refuses to let go of the knife, thinking it's a game. Ava, in a desperate attempt to reclaim the knife, tries to grab it back. However, in the struggle, the knife accidentally cuts Ava's hand. Ava cries out in pain, releasing her grip on the knife. Rachel, still holding the knife, loses her balance and falls head over heels. As she gets up, she's sobbing uncontrollably. The group rushes to Rachel's side, relieved to see that she's only crying because she bumped her head, not because of the knife. Silver gently takes the knife from Rachel's grasp, "It's okay, sweetie. You're safe now." Ava, meanwhile, clutches her wounded hand, her expression a mix of pain and anger. Heather quickly tends to Ava's wound, "We need to get this cleaned and bandaged." Ava's gaze flicks to Nate, "This is all your fault." The situation is tense, but at least the immediate danger has passed. . Nate's words are laced with anger and sarcasm, "How the __ is it my fault that you cut your pretty little self trying to get a knife back from a __ 3-year-old who you let get the best of you? And it's my fault? Bull." Ava's face turns red with rage, her wounded hand forgotten. "You're a disgusting, heartless __, Nate. You always were." The group is taken aback by Nate's profanity and Ava's venom. Silver steps in, trying to calm the situation, "Okay, that's enough. We're not going to resolve anything with insults and blame." Heather adds, "Ava, let me finish treating your wound. We can talk about this later when emotions aren't running high." Ava's gaze never leaves Nate, her eyes burning with hatred. "Fine. But this isn't over, Nate. Not by a long shot." The tension is palpable, and the group wonders what will happen next. Nate and Ava's argument escalates, with both of them hurling vicious insults at each other. The group is shocked and uncomfortable, trying to intervene but unable to stop the verbal barrage. Silver tries to mediate, but Nate and Ava are too far gone, fueled by anger and resentment. Heather, meanwhile, is horrified, "Stop! This is insane! You're both acting like animals!" Quinn steps in, using his authority to try and calm the situation, "That's enough! We're not going to resolve anything with hate speech and personal attacks." But Nate and Ava are beyond reason, their words cutting deep and causing harm. Nate's argument with Ava reaches a boiling point, and he suddenly pulls out a small gun from between his pant line and his diaper. The group gasps in shock. Ava's eyes widen, but she doesn't back down. She reveals a gun of her own, though she admits, "I don't have any ammo, you pathetic excuse for a human being!" Nate sneers, "You're just mad because I've got the upper hand. And I always do." The group is frozen in terror, unsure of what will happen next. Heather pleads, "Nate, please put the gun away. This is insane!" Quinn tries to reason with Nate, "We can work through this, Nate. Put the gun down." But Nate's anger and adrenaline are in control. He's not listening. Ava, still defiant, spits at Nate's feet, "You'll never shoot me, Nate. You're too much of a coward." Nate's finger tightens on the trigger... Nate fires the gun, but his aim is off, and he misses Ava. Instead, the bullet strikes a child on Ava's side, a young girl named Sophie. The group erupts in horror, with Ava screaming, "Sophie! No, no, no!" Nate's eyes widen in shock, and he stares at the gun in his hand as if it's foreign. His mind racing, he thinks, "Holy s hit, s hit, s hit, what have I done? What the f uck have I done? I am so dead. I'm going straight to Hell. Lord take me now, I'm fucked." Ava rushes to Sophie's side, cradling the child in her arms. "Sophie, my baby, no!" The group's anger and grief are palpable, with Ava's side turning on Nate. Ava's leader steps forward, "You've gone too far, Nate. You're a monster." Silver and Quinn try to intervene, but the situation is too volatile. Heather's grief is overwhelming, "This is all because of your selfishness, Nate. You've brought nothing but death and destruction." Nate knows he's beyond redemption. Nate's guilt and shame become too much to bear. He puts the gun inside his mouth and pulls the trigger, blowing his head apart. The group is shocked and horrified by the sudden turn of events. Ava, still cradling Sophie, looks up at Nate's lifeless body and screams, "You monster! You're finally gone!" But as the group approaches Sophie, they realize that Nate's bullet only hit her in the foot. She's injured but alive. Ava's leader steps forward, "We need to get Sophie medical attention, now." The group springs into action, trying to save Sophie's foot and deal with the trauma of what they've just witnessed. As they tend to Sophie, they can't help but think about the devastating consequences of Nate's actions. His selfishness and anger have led to destruction and harm, but in the end, he took his own life. The group is left to pick up the pieces and try to move forward, forever changed by the events that have transpired. As the group tries to process the trauma they've experienced, they're also faced with the reality of caring for their young members. Sophie, the 2-year-old, needs immediate medical attention for her foot wound. Ava's leader, trying to restore order, assigns tasks to the group members. "We need to find medical supplies, tend to Sophie, and make sure our young ones are safe and comforted." The group springs into action, with the young adults and teens taking charge of caring for the younger children. The school-aged kids are shocked and scared, but they're trying to cope with the situation. Heather, still grieving, finds solace in helping to care for the babies and toddlers. "We need to keep them safe, away from all this violence." Silver and Quinn try to find medical supplies, while Ava's leader assesses the group's overall situation. "We can't stay here. We need to find a safer place, with more resources." As the group works together, they begin to realize that they're stronger united. But with the trauma they've experienced, it won't be easy to move forward. As the group works together to care for Sophie and navigate their new reality, their diverse perspectives and experiences become a strength. Ava's group, in particular, provides a safe and welcoming space for everyone. The non-binary individuals, Alex, Jamie, Rowan, and River, take charge of organizing the group's supplies and resources. Their attention to detail and analytical skills prove invaluable. Meanwhile, the gay couple, Michael and Ryan, help to comfort and support the younger children, using their experience as teachers to create a sense of normalcy. The pansexual individuals, Luna, Astrid, and Wren, work together to scout for food and water, using their adventurous spirits and resourcefulness to find creative solutions. And Ava's bi friend, Dakota, helps to mediate conflicts and facilitate open communication, using their empathetic nature to keep everyone connected. Ava's leader, proud of her diverse group, says, "We're stronger together, and our differences are what make us resilient." As the group continues to work together, they face new challenges and opportunities.

took out some of the language and fixed heather's secret.

And the one you sent in messages is a lot more fixed than that so ill read from messages but its good so far other then the stuff I sent you lol

Should I post my story here

yea, I'll fix it with your edits Charles (feel free to message me with edits yall)

and sure ana

me just now realizing that the name of the forum is wronf

*wrong

Fixed

easier way to read via g doc

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ze8zn9NfWkBALwNlYvLnGtCQ-nFbWynSWEllczwnqDs/edit?usp=sharing

Oh cool

Hey Ana did you post your story?

This was too long 😭 😭

Still working on it,part five is longer than any other part

you think my story is long... try reading "world without end" that's a 1000+ page book

Is that the one where it's just one sentence or something?

Just take breaks reading it lol

no it's the one that takes place in the 1300s (look up world without end