Also I'm a fan of dark humor (Sorry!) so here are some of those.
These are not for the innocent or the sensitive, trust me.
Seriously.
Last chance to turn back!
Okay, here we go.
Why are victims of 9/11 such fast readers? They went through a 100 stories in seconds.
What is a pregnant teen and her fetus both thinking? "Oh shoot, my mom's going to kill me!"
Racecar backwards is racecar. Racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn't have a homepage. (That one's kind of sad 
)
What's the difference between iron man and iron woman? One's a superhero and the other one is just a simple command.
I hate these double standards. If you're burning a body at a crematorium, you're doing "a good job" but if you're doing it at home you're "burning the evidence".
Why is there air conditioning in the hospital? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.
A black guy and a Mexican guy are in a car. Who's driving? The cop.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't? End a race.
What does a boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Just kidding, he still hasn't opened his present.
Pretty dark huh? You might've not understood all of them, but I tried to keep the ones which are more obvious as people might feel worse about those ones. To end on a high note though..
Here are some jokes I've seen on AGT by young kids.
"The only experience I have to be a babysitter is that I was a baby"
"Why were so many people impressed by a talking dog, Heidi Klum has been on here for years!"
The next one is a little dirty, skip it if you aren't going to impressed by it. It was by a 12 year old boy, I swear.
"While getting in here, my dad told me "this is longer than I expected." The last time I heard that was when I was at my doctor's office getting my physical 
"
"Hey I'm Leo, I'm 15 and I'm single. I've been single pretty much my whole life. Probably because I don't have a car, am unemployed and I live with my parents."
"Women always say one thing and mean the other. For instance, my mom told me to call her mom and I found out that's not even her real name!"
"I had a spelling test the other day and I had it, so I told my teacher "so what if I can't spell Armageddon? It's not the end of the world!"
There we go, good luck to all!
So I'm hoping we can post more than one because I wouldn't mind having a diamond membership. Here's my first one.
Also, I didn't make up this one, I'm really not that funny, only my sense of what's funny and what's not funny is funny, so here we go.
Also, enjoy your time with your cousin! Nice of him to give you a surprise although I think he should have just been featured on your stream
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much I practice, I'll never be as good as the wall. I've tried playing one once, they're relentless.