Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted, but then you'd time-out on all of them.

I wish that I could stay at my vacation place longer.

Granted, but it would rain all day

I wish it wasn't raining right now

Granted, but then it would be 120 degrees.

I wish that I could play more chess all the time.

Granted, but you LOSE

I wish i put caps for i but not lose

Granted, but no one understands what you're saying, so your wish will never come true.

I wish that I could get my rating back over 1584 for standard.

granted but 2 seconds later it goes down to 456

i wish i had a 100 inch flat screen plasma tv that never breaks 

Granted, but the only station you get only plays a soap operas 24/7.

I wish I could invite every member on chess.com with the click of a mouse.

Granted but it would take 1 day (to what group?)

I wish that I could teleport

Granted, but then you'd teleport into the heart of Mauna Loa and die.

I wish that I wasn't so sadistic sometimes.

Granted, but deep down you'll always feel like a big teddy bear.

I wish I wasnt so random.

Granted, but it's because you just turned into a potato and got eaten.

I wish I could start 1,000,000 vote chess matches each day.

Granted, but then your matches would time-out.

I wish that I didn't always forget to wish.

Granted but the wish would be dumb

I wish that I could think of better corruptions

granted but there too bad and your account gets deleted

I wish you made a wish

Granted, but not really.

I wish I could build a farm on my chess board screen.

Granted, but then the animals would stage a revolt on your screen.

I wish that I hadn't procrastinated on summer reading.

granted but you were supposed to 

i wish i never forget to put my wish

Granted, but in your haste you'd wish the wrong wish

I wish that the wheels on the next bass thumping car parked outside my house would explode sparing me from wishing I could shoot a bullet hole in the tires and getting into trouble with the law.

Granted, but the tires would explode onto your house, and smash through your windows.

I wish that I didn't have soccer practice all day for the rest of the month.