:)
Dark Matter, Kirby, Aliens, Quakes, and Doomsday
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Mar 27, 2010
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#3
And I thought the earlier post about cosmology and general relativity in bronze age texts was funny!
These are great, man! Keep it up!
"gargle with liquid nitrogen" is a quote from a book I read a while ago, titled The Cat From Outer Space or something.
The world ending in 2012 actually is not a Mayan belief, but it instead came from Western culture. The architect digging up the Mayan ruins may have just gotten a bit lazy when digging up the calendar and simply stopped at 2012 and said it ended there, covering the rest up.
Hint about the meaning of the number: it involves both pi and e.
Next, I'll probably write something on Earth's formation and volcanoes, etc. The secret is to know what you're trying to prove and what particles you want to invent, and then make up any "facts" you need to support it, while twisting in some truth.
Also, just wondering -- who here is actually familiar with the cartoon character Kirby?
Its actually alternating digits of pi and e, that number.
While on the subject of pi and e, I think I've finally figured out the hidden meaning to Euler's equation e^pi*i=-1
Theoretical accountants who get imaginary raises on March 14 become pessimistic.
e signifies continuous interest, which isn't real, so only theoretical accountants look at it. i is a power, so its an imaginary raise. Cross it with pi, it's an imaginary raise on pi day. Negative one, negative person, or pessimist. I think this beats any other interpretation anyone else can think of!
Oh, also this at the beginning of Dark Matter, "hidden in the vast emptiness of space with billions and billions of stars, billions and billions of stars" is a reference to one of the symphonies of science. Bill Nye said something similar to it.
Once upon a time, in a land far far away, hidden in the vast emptiness of space with billions and billions of stars, billions and billions of stars, there lived a lawyer. His name, A. Square. He was a square. He lived in a land called Flatland*. He has a grandson who was a hexagon. A. Hexagon was a physicist. One day, a team of pentagons, out on field work, brought back strange stones. They had a curious property that one side of one would attract one side of another, but repel the opposite side. They decided to call these stones, magic rocks, and the force that pushes/pulls them, magic. As they have yet to discover white magic, there was no need to give this magic a special name. Now, as A. Hexagon was experimenting on these stones, he came to a startling realization that their whole circle planet was held together by this very force known as magic. Further experiments allowed the exact force between two magic stones to be calculated as a function of distance. They later realized that this magic force alone was too weak to be the only force holding their plane together. There were places where magic was detected, but no matter was present. They thought and thought, and finally decided to name this, dark matter.
* This Flatland, although sharing many similarities with Flatland, written by Edwin Abott, is a different Flatland situated on the plane z=5. The Flatland written about by Edwin Abott is located on plane z=0.
A long time ago, Ptolemy suggested that the Earth is located at the center of the universe and doesn't move[9]. Later, Galileo and Copernicus disproved Ptolemy and convinced everyone that Earth's orbit is a circle[10]. Kepler realized it wasn't a circle and said it was an eclipse[11]. During Kepler's time, the earth's orbit really was an eclipse, but recently, in the 20th century the Earth's orbit slowly changed into a different shape. It consists of 4 angles of 90 degrees each and 4 congruent sides. For simplicity, we will give this shape a name, Georev (equilateral equiangular quadrangle is too long a name).
What caused this change in earth's orbit? Well, its the same reason that ever since the Great War, the world's been plagued by ubiquitous fighting and war. Two groups of alien species, with cloaking technology, have recently set their sight on taking Earth and colonizing it. This means that they must pull earth away from its natural orbit and eradicate all life on Earth in order to take it. The way they tried to destroy the preeminent life on Earth was by brainwashing leaders into instigating war with other nations. They also released the HIV virus in attempt to make humans reluctant to reproduce. As well, this was the century of the influenza pandemic that cut the population down to size. Unfortunately, the death rate is no match for the exponential growth of the world's population, but doomsday will soon be among us.
The alien races are also competing with each other to pull earth away using their white magic technology. The more dominant of the races, we'd have to gargle with liquid nitrogen to pronounce their names, but for the sake of argument, we'll call them the Lunas, have exceptional technology and are pulling Earth with great force. The other race has lesser but still significant technology and must use the sun's gravity to assist them in taking Earth. We call them the Helios. Both have starships in a formation and are trying to pull Earth their way. So far, the struggle has been balanced, but the Earth still moves in the shape of their formation. This shape is the georev.
Why can't this shape be a circle? Isn't the circle the most practical of all shapes? Isn't the triangle the strongest shape? What's so special about this strange georev shape? Firstly, a circular formation just doesn't work. For the ships to stay in formation, they must emit a magnetic wave to connect each ship. If their shape was to be a circle, the angle 3 adjacent ships would be at would be nearly 180 degrees, but not exactly. The magnetic fields would resist each other a small bit, and their goal is to use as little energy as possible. Angles with multiples of 30 degrees are necessary to use. So why not one of those 60-60-60 triangles? The aliens also don't want us to know that they're here, and a erratic season changes would probably set off suspicions. Thus, they need a shape with 4 sides, equilateral, and equiangular, the georev. This allows them to conserve energy, prevent suspicions from being roused from season change, but the problem is how to now stop Earth when it gets to a corner.
If the Earth were to travel at its average speed and just stop and change its direction, all life on earth would die and the atmosphere would be flung off. This is undesirable, as the aliens want only to destroy all humans. speed bumps had to be placed to slow Earth's speed near a corner. These had bad consequences though. Usually, Earth hits a speed bump head on and slows down. This is like two pool balls hitting each other straight on. Occasionally, since not even aliens are perfect, Earth's path is misjudged and it makes an oblique collision. The slowing then does not occur at Earth's center, but instead in the mantle or crust. The aliens foresaw the consequences, but felt we would not noticed as the Earth already experiences earthquakes. However, since the 1900's, we have noticed slight increases in magnitude and frequency of the earthquakes.