ei8ht

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Writch

ei8ht
Writch © 6/6/2002

I roll onto my stomach
               
The sun warms my back and legs
                               
the ocean washes up, hisses

                                               
eighteen feet from my ears

A cloud passes over, shades
               
drying the film of sweat from shaded sun
                               
with a cool breeze blowing softly

                                               
eight knots over my back

And when my skin starts to rise
               
at the breeze slowly chilling
                               
the sun peeks out, soothes again

                                               
eighty degrees on my skin

A bug, a tiny beetle lands
               
blown in from the breeze
                               
tangles into the hair of my forearm

                                               
eight inches from my face

Suspended, supported by my hair
               
lying motionless on its back
                               
Is it too tired? Or basking too?

                                               
eight inches from my nose

Caressed by the sunlight
               
black shell with bright white dots
                               
reflects the sun, stillness reflects tranquility

                                               
eight inches from my eyes

Another cloud, another cool breeze
               
stirs him from its nap, taking leave
                               
drunk from the sun, struggling

                                               
eight inches along my arm

I close my eyes, drunk from the sun
               
struggle onto my back, to bask
                               
entangled in tranquility, I snatch
                                               
eight minutes from eternity


PVilla

Would change "bug" to insect.  Also, what other kinds of beetle are there but tiny? Don't mean to be a smart ass; perhaps another adjective would be more effective. 

Writch

Sure, if it was bigger than tiny, yeah, I woulda called it an insect... and then freaked-out and flung it out toward the surf, screamin' like a little girl. Surprised

And the poem would have never gotten written.Tongue out

And bug sounds less "loaded" to me - less clinical, more familiar...
like bunny vs. rabbit, or kid vs. child
Therefore the attitude is more "playful"? You're lucky it ended up as it did - first draft had it as widdle-buggy-wug.Wink