Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........
Free jokes!
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Mar 11, 2013
0
#4
Joke #2:
A woman and man get into a car accident. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither one of them is hurt.
After they crawl out of the wreckage, the woman says, "Wow, look at our cars -- there's nothing left! This must be a sign from Him that we should be friends and not try to pin the blame on each other."
The man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely."
The woman points to a bottle on the ground and says, "Somehow this bottle of Scotch from my back seat didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this Scotch and celebrate our good fortune."
She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, and chugs about a third of the bottle to calm his nerves. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police."
Great!
I don't get it.
Mar 12, 2013
0
#9
Two awesome people, the woman managed to get the man drunk, so it seems that the man was drinking and driving, thus he would pay the damage.
OH!!!!!!
Next Joke. Winnie-the-Pooh and Piglet are in a small boat.
Winnie leads the boat, and Piglet is sleeping. Suddenly Winnie beats Piglet by an oar. Piglet quickly jumps bewildered, and Winnie tells him:
Are not you sleeping, the fat pig ??? Then do row the boat now!
Mar 18, 2013
0
#12
Two guys are driving down a road when a trooper pulls the over. The trooper asks may I see your drivers license? The driver, being hard of hearing says "heh? what did he say" His buddy replied "HE WANTS TO SEE YOUR LICENSE!" so the driver handed it over.
The trooper says "I see you are from Florida!" and the driver replied "heh? what did he say?" His buddy said "HE SEES YOU ARE FROM FLORIDA!"
The trooper said "I got mugged in Florida once." The driver said "heh? what did he say?" His buddy replied "HE SAYS THAT HE KNOWS YOU!"
Jun 3, 2013
0
#13
HAHA!
Here's another:
Two men are on a hunting trip. Suddenly, one drops to the ground. Panicking, the other guy calls 911. The operator tells him, "Calm down and make sure he is dead." After a short silence, the operator hears a gunshot. Then, he hears the guy who is still alive ask. "What now?"
way to prank a pizza place (this works with any kind of companies)
example: call Dominoes pizza and say "can i get direstions to Pizza hut?"
There's is 3 guys at a bar. They got drunk and left the bar. They decided to take a taxi back home. The taxi driver assumes that they are drunk. So after assuming that, he just turns on and off the engine quickly and says" We arrived at our destination". The first guy pays the driver $20 and gets out of the car. The second man high-fives the driver and also gets out. The third guy slaps the driver. The driver assumes that the 3rd guy knows they did not drive anywhere. But the driver still asked him "What was that for?". The third
guy responded with "Watch your speed next time. You nearly killed us!"
Wow, that's a good joke nate23 :D
@sjrhernandez fine joke!
I'm remembering my short joke: One man also got drunk very well. He hardly catches a taxi. A driver asks to him:
- Where will we arrive ?
The drunkard says:
- Whh.....hat? 
Iiiit shh....hhuuldnnn't hh....hhave tt......tttroublll uuuu!
Joke #1:
One day, a French spy received a coded message from an American spy claiming it came directly from President Bush. It read: S370HSSV-0773H.
The spy was stumped, so he sent it to his boss at the agency. His boss was stumped too, so he sent it to the Russians for decoding.
The Russians couldn't solve it either, so they asked the Germans.
The Germans, having received this same message during WWII from the Americans, suggested turning it upside down
.