1.A chess master died – after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was him!
“What’s it like, where you are now,” he asked.
“What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news.”
“Tell me the good news first.”
“Well, it’s really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, they’re all here, and you can play them.”
“Fantastic!” the friend said, “and what is the bad news?”
“You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday.”
2.In the chess club:
“I am Black.” “I know.”
3.Two beginners:
“I improved my English, Spanish, French, Russian and Italian.”
“Then you must be a genius!”
“Why?”
“You can speak so many languages…”
“I am talking about chess openings and not languages.”
4.“My wife said, she will leave me, when I take part in this chess tournament next week.”
“So what will you do?”
“1.e4, like always!”
5.Two chess players wanted to go to a chess tournament together by car.
After some time the driver had to check his street map:
“What do you think? Is it better if we take the main variation or the side variation?”
6.Two chess players walked to the railway station but were intensely discussing the spanish chess opening. After some time they realized that they were walking in the wrong direction. One of them said: “Shit, I didn’t memorize the right way to the railway station.”
1. A chess master died – after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was him!
“What’s it like, where you are now,” he asked.
“What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news.”
“Tell me the good news first.”
“Well, it’s really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, they’re all here, and you can play them.”
“Fantastic!” the friend said, “and what is the bad news?”
“You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday.”
2. In the chess club:
“I am Black.” “I know.”
3. Two beginners:
“I improved my English, Spanish, French, Russian and Italian.”
“Then you must be a genius!”
“Why?”
“You can speak so many languages…”
“I am talking about chess openings and not languages.”
4. “My wife said, she will leave me, when I take part in this chess tournament next week.”
“So what will you do?”
“1.e4, like always!”
5. Two chess players wanted to go to a chess tournament together by car.
After some time the driver had to check his street map:
“What do you think? Is it better if we take the main variation or the side variation?”
6. Two chess players walked to the railway station but were intensely discussing the spanish chess opening. After some time they realized that they were walking in the wrong direction. One of them said: “Shit, I didn’t memorize the right way to the railway station.”