How to stop beating yourself up for mistakes

Agh. 

Chess can be so frustrating.

I've taken some time off, and came back ... as trash. Rightfully so. 

But now I'm getting more and more frustrated. I keep beating myself up for mistakes. I feel like I'm playing tactically sound, for the most part. Definitely above a 1200 level. Yet, I'm making these absolute bonehead mistakes, causing me to lose. My ELO is absolutely tanking because of it.

I know it's mostly rust and should shake off in a few days or weeks. But still, man it's tough.

Does anybody have any advice on how not beat yourself up too bad for making mistakes that cost you the game?

Uhh... usually I get mad and then play better as a result... so no help from here...

I'm tilting hard. Was doing great this morning, now I'm sucking hard.

I guess I just gotta remind myself that I want to get better at chess to play better in real life. Seeing my ELO get lost hurts.

Like in my recent game, I had a 1.5 advantage until I decided to move the King in the wrong square.

It just hurts how one little mistake can swing my advantage from 1.5 to -4.5

a 1.5 advantage is still not enough for me to be concerned about losing, tbh
I do that every other game at this point xD

1.5 advantage doesn't mean anything at your level, unless you're up a pawn or something which probably still doesn't matter. Like, in my most recent rapid game I hung a knight and the one before that I cooked my opponent within 10 moves.

I usually will just take a break

Yeah, the thing is it feels like I am being too hard on myself during the game itself which leads to me being negative and thus playing worse. I gotta try to be more positive when I make a mistake but its hard, especially when that little mistake leads to pretty much a lost position.

I don't usually beat myself up too much about blowing a chess game because everyone makes mistakes. We are human. Maybe watch a YouTube compilation of titled players making bad moves or blowing games. You'll see that you aren't alone.

If tilt is a problem, then check out my tilt playlist and if you want "free coaching" (game analysis or instructional explanations) then check out my free coaching playlist:

Tilt playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLTXwNMbhsy4uh2e7swLXpYA-7_2AXTeF3

Free coaching playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLTXwNMbhsy4tfNvpDrJfmeXbmrzpAt48K

Keep up the good work on the videos, KeSeto! Feel free to make an announcement every now and then explaining these concepts, and you can link your videos at the end of it, ie "How to Prevent Tilt in Chess", write a little paragraph or two, then link the video!

How is your OTB play going these days?

My OTB rating is roughly the same, but I've been winning slightly more often lately, so it's slowly going up and I have another rated OTB tournament coming up in about 2 weeks from now too

1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.
   P.S. Always be skeptical everyone comes from entirely different lives, experiences and influences.
   Beating yourself up is often your ego taking something personal. The key is don't continue to repeat bad habits, especially ones that make you angry at yourself. You should be happy for the mistake and allow it to become a lesson. This is how we grow, if you never fail you aren't growing.

Oh and don't attach yourself to any OUTCOMEs.
Live in the moment and these things won't impact you near as much. The reason we beat our selves up is we are focusing on the wrong thing, likely winning instead of GROWTH. 
Also if you can ever condition yourself to NOT be ATTACHED to the OUTCOME. You may still have moments where you want to beat yourself up, but in those moments realize "Hey this is another opportunity to learn and improve" and eventually I PROMISE you will start growing and getting better faster at anything. 
This works at any sport or game and in LIFE IN GENERAL.

Its like most things in life, after you get into the routine, habit of not beating yoruself up and instead using that experience for growth it gets easier and easier and one day you will be cool and calm in situations that rattle others.
Thats basically how people who look like they have ice in their veins do it. They too beat themselves up at one time. The ones that don't freak out though are the ones who are learning to master self control.