Iterum: A Finis Work

Whips out lightsabres*

Chapter 2: The Battle of U-11 HQ

The King pulled out his hammer from hammerspace. He felt his coins in there, too. His own personal pocket dimension had travelled with him, thank goodness. 

The Doctor in this timeline seemed to be about the same as the normal Doctor, for the instant that the King pulled out his hammer, he turned and fled, screaming in fear at the top of his lungs. 

Actually, no. That wasn’t quite true. The real Doctor had lain down his life to give the King a chance. This guy - this was not the Doctor. Only a pale imitation in black. 

One of the Knights sauntered up to the King slowly and swung their Saw slowly. A few forceful coin tosses managed to give the King an opening to drop his hammer directly onto the Knight’s chestplate. 

It didn’t even leave a scratch. It did have enough force to push the Knight away, though, giving the King an opportunity to start running around. 

The way in was much too obvious of an option. Locked. The windows didn’t seem viable, either - where had those unobtanium bars come from? The Doctor had went somewhere, perhaps he could follow? 

Thoughts of escape were suddenly interrupted by a charging sound. The King dove to the side on instinct just in time to avoid several giant lasers being shot. 

They had come from the helmets of the Knights. 

“What on earth is this?” the King exclaimed, bewildered. 

“You fool!” Music Man roared. “Are you not aware of the indestructible Robo-Knights!” 

The lasers hadn’t even left a mark on the door, which just convinced the King further that it was no option at all. The hallway that the Doctor had run down - that would be it. 

The King began to make a mad dash, deeper into the facility. Running quickly had never really been his strong suit, but speed tends to increase when one isn’t carrying hundreds of pounds in armor. In addition, trying to save one’s own life is also a pretty powerful motivator. 

The Doctor was hurriedly closing doors behind him with a remote in his hand. The King smashed his way through them with the hammer, the Robo-Knights hard on his tail. Lasers blasted all over the place, and what seemed to be missiles and grenades were being used as projectiles along with blades from the Saw. 

“This is utter madness!” the King cried out. 

“You haven’t seen anything yet!” Music Man retorted. “Don’t! Stop me now!” 

Music Man placed his boom box behind him and unleashed a great amount of sound, propelling himself forward at a ridiculous speed. Robo-Knights were blown backwards by the force of it as Music Man caught up to the King. 

The King himself had also caught up to the Doctor, whose hysterical screams had only been increasing in volume. He swung his hammer back and forth, back and forth, each swing getting closer to his target. 

But not before Music Man shot into him like a rocket, slamming him into the wall violently. 

The King turned around and smashed Music Man against the wall before slamming him twice with the hammer. The crunching of bones was painfully loud. Abandoning the man on the floor, the insane pursuit of the Doctor carried on. 

For about two seconds. Suddenly, the Doctor turned around and stuck his leg out. 

The King had not been expecting this. The commonplace trick that can be found anywhere in the omniverse worked, and the King tripped. 

The Doctor howled in pain, the heavy weight of the King almost snapping his leg in two, but it did the job. A soundwave engulfed the King, rendering him damaged and immobile for the second time in only fifteen minutes. 

“King, did you really think that you’d be able to escape?” Music Man tutted, dragging himself along. “You’ve lost. And I will sing no req-” 

A gigantic explosion suddenly obliterated the nearby wall. Chunks of rubble flew everywhere, blocking the corridor. The trio of seriously beaten-up characters were all slammed against the opposite wall. 

Out of the gaping hole in the building strode a dark-haired young woman neatly dressed in a white blouse and jeans. All eyes still capable of seeing, however, were on the excessively formal white top hat on her head. 

“Hey, KOTL. It’s time to get out of here.” 

The King was having a seriously bad day. First, all his friends had died. Then, edgy evil versions of them were now trying to kill him. And now, he felt like he was going to die. It definitely felt like he was going to die. And also, he was trapped under some rubble. Just to top it all off, because it wasn’t bad enough. 

Summoning vestiges of strength and will that he didn’t even know he had, the King pushed the rubble off, got to his feet, and stumbled in what he supposed was the general direction that he needed to go. 

A portal. A friendly portal that would be quick and wouldn’t depower him. A nice cushion in front of him, and the King was down for the count. 

I am up for even MORE of it!

i am best wrier

i right bettar then pun

Pardon?

It’s is extreme dragon. 

I know. I just don't understand what he's saying. 

Do not fret, I speak intentionally bad Spelling:

I write better than pin.

“I am the best writer.”

Ah, thank you for the translation, Austin. 

Chapter 3: Four of a Kind

The King was sitting at a hardwood table, munching on one of those ever-useful bagels and wondering just how the heck he managed to get himself into this strange situation. 

The girl across the table snapped her fingers to get his attention. 

“Hey. We’ve only got three bagels left, alright? I can’t have you getting injured all the time like that.” 

“Er.” Classic diplomatic strategy seemed to be failing the King at the moment, which meant that it must have been time to switch to normal conversation. 

“Thank you, for saving my life. What’s your name, again?” 

“Madeleine. Madeline Hatter.” 

“Your last name… is Hatter?” 

“Yes. Is there a problem with that?” Madeleine tilted her head to the side slightly, as though genuinely confused by the King’s statement. Despite the slanting, the white hat remained firmly on her head. 

“No, no. In any case, I do believe I’m in desperate need of exposition. Could you provide me with any?” 

“Sure, yeah. I’m sure some other folks would like some as well, no?” She grinned and winked, as though sharing a private joke. 

“Yes, yes. Now. What happened? How does reality exist?” 

“Oh. You’ve got those kinds of questions. Well, in that case, you’re better off asking them.” 

As if on cue, two men walked into the room. 

It was Music Man and the Doctor. 

The King sprung to his feet instantly and pulled out his hammer, dropping into a fighting stance. 

Music Man held up two hands placatingly. “Now, now, we’re on your side. We’re double agents. Spies on the inside.” 

“Is that why you nearly killed me?”

“Why do you think that the Robo-Knights all missed with their lasers and missiles and bombs?” the Doctor inserted. 

“Because I dodged them.” 

“Well, yes, but also because we weren’t actually trying to hit you.” 

“The injuries that I have sustained tell me otherwise.” 

Madeleine politely cleared her throat, which somehow caused the argument to cease. 

“Thank you.” She looked at each of the other people in the room for a moment before continuing. “Let’s get back on track. Doctor, could you please explain to the King what’s going on?” 

“Yes. Yes. So, the council of Doctors -”

“The Council of Doctors?” 

“Why, yes!” the Doctor replied enthusiastically. “A society of alternate versions of the Doctor from across the multiverse, across all universes and timelines and dimensions, holding an intellectual forum together. Oh, but now that I mention it, I have to describe its organizational structure in full.” 

“No. You don’t.” The Music Man that the KOTL knew usually wasn’t this impatient, but it was still difficult to get it through in his head that the two were different. 

“In any case, we’ve determined that your universe sort of… died.” 

“Yes, I’m aware of that. I was there.” 

“This universe is an alternate universe that somehow connects to your timeline should you go far enough into the past. There’s alternate timelines, of course. Ones where the multiverse never came back, or it partially came back, or it came back completely normally. Technically, in those timelines, we don’t even exist!” 

“But how? How did the multiverse bring itself back together?” 

“We… actually don’t know,” the Doctor admitted. 

“Very well. So how did things end up like this? This is insanity. Robo-Knights?” 

“There’s a tyrannical government that’s been put into place.” The Doctor seemed to shrink a little as Music Man took control of the conversation. “At its head is a despotic, evil autocrat who has brought very nearly everything under his direct control. He’s called the Emperor.” 

Music Man and the Doctor both fiddled with insignias slightly, well aware of what they meant. 

“It’s practically a dystopia now.” Madeleine was apparently not to be upstaged with the exposition, despite having pawned the job off earlier. “He rules through complete order. This universe we’re in? It used to be called King of the Noobs, but now it’s just called U-11.” 

“U for universe,” the Doctor added. 

“King of the Noobs…” The King stroked his chin. “Is that not where the Parkour Master hails from? Can he be found around here?” 

The Doctor shook his head. 

“You see, the Parkour Master was never officially inducted into the multiverse. That’s pretty important. That process allows for the implantation of alternate versions of yourself across pan-reality. There was only ever one version of the PK, and now, well…” 

“So what’s with you?” the King asked, turning to Madeleine. “Do you just blow up government buildings every day?” 

“Well, no. I’m technically a fugitive. The Emperor would very much like to erase me from existence. It’s a good thing that Music Man is the one in charge of the search.” 

“Alright. This Emperor fellow doesn’t seem to be all that pleasant,” the King concluded. “It’s up to us to take him down then, right?” 

“I should mention. I’ve got an extra trick up my sleeve.” Music Man grinned.

A little girl who couldn’t be older than seven trotted in, hiding behind Music Man’s legs. Clearly, a bit shy. 

“This is Natalie Bishop. Now, I know she looks like a kid, but trust me, she’s got some tricks.” 

“What.. sort of tricks?” 

Natalie pulled out an extremely complicated-looking controller out of nowhere, and began to mash buttons rapidly. 

A Robo-Knight walked out of a nearby closet. 

“You have control over one of those machines?” the King noted in wonder. 

“And she can do it better than any AI,” Music Man declared proudly. 

“Wait, really?” 

“You would not believe how difficult it was just to get those damn things to stand!” the Doctor groaned. “And then we had to get them to stand for longer than ten seconds. And then walking. Walking! And don’t even get me started on sloped surfaces. I don’t even want to talk about -”

“Then don’t,” Madeleine cut in. 

“Right, yes, OK.” 

The King looked at the members of the Quartet, as strange as they seemed to him. A flicker of hope lit his heart. Maybe his own multiverse was gone, but this one still had a chance. 

“No.”

Time seemed to pause. Things seemed to take on a more mute, grey color. The Quartet all had frozen in place. 

The King looked left, right, forward, backward. There was nothing there. 

“Sir King.” 

Suddenly, right there was the figure in the black cloak. The King was technically a little taller than it, but it was a dream to even think that he could comprehend the other being’s power. 

“Finis. What do you want? Have you not taken enough?” 

“I have never taken enough.” 

Finis stepped a little closer. 

“You’re only lucky that I’m digesting the current universe. Once I’m through with it, I’ll finish my job, I swear it.” 

The King had no response. What could he say? He had no armor, no overpowered buffs, no friends other than the rag-tag bunch of people who didn’t quite live up to expectations. What was he to do? 

“We’ll speak again soon. Even transporting 0% of my power here is a struggle. Be grateful for that.” 

Finis vanished. Things returned to a normal hue. And the King collapsed, destroying the chair he was formerly sitting on. 

“Who’s going to clean that up?” Music Man wondered. 

“Touch your nose!” Madeleine laughed. 

interesting

emperor sans

No, the Emperor is not Sans. 

this is so sad

Chapter 4: The Worlds a Stage

“My name’s the Doctor, not the Janitor. Get it right.” The business of moving the King around and cleaning up his mess was turning out to be quite difficult. 

“Hey, sweep harder,” Madeleine ordered. 

“I am technically an official of the Emperor. I could have you dead in a heartbeat.” 

“Empty threat.” 

The Doctor sighed. “Yes, empty threat.” 

“My God…” the King groaned. 

“Ah, he’s awake!” the Doctor noted excitedly. “Does that mean I don’t have to clean up this mess anymore!”

“Wh… what’s happening? Where’s Music Man?” 

“He took Natalie and left. Had to go back to his job.” The Doctor awkwardly stood about, picking his cuticles. 

The King rubbed his head. “You know, in all the stories that I’ve read, they’re rather brief, linear odysseys. I kind of get the feeling that this isn’t going to be like those stories.” 

“You’re not wrong,” Madeleine noted darkly. 

“So. You’re all different versions of my allies. Are they out and about somewhere in this multiverse?” 

The Doctor pulled out a piece of paper from his lab coat. “Well, the Parkour Master isn’t here in any capacity, as we’ve already said. Joseph Stalin is actually the Emperor’s right-hand man. He’s in charge of U-2.” 

“That’s the former Flipside. Where you guys are from, correct?” 

“Yes. And Cookie serves under him, patrolling the streets and stomping out any signs of rebellion.” 

“If I remember her correctly, she’s probably enjoying it.” 

The Doctor gave an unhappy-sounding chuckle. “That’s an understatement. In any case, the Octoling Shopkeeper helps run the commerce of the underground resistance. She’s helping to keep everyone alive with the resources that we need - at least, as best she can. Meanwhile, Francis Scott Key serves the Emperor in U-4, alongside the Old King Harold and Chuck Noris. They’re all working under King Ryan. He’s just a puppet now.” 

“King Ryan,” KOTL mused. “He practically controlled half the multiverse at one point. I can’t even imagine him as a puppet.” 

“Corrupted Sans and Flowey are currently somewhere in U-3. As far as I know, they’re just ordinary citizens. They’re not doing anything particularly exciting or special.”

“And that leaves us with the Clover. The Principal is gone. There seems to be no trace of him. Meanwhile, the Goose has actually been locked up.” 

The King burst out into laughter. “Funny joke, sir Doctor, but that’s literally impossible. No one can catch the Goose.” 

“Oh, but it is true.” The Doctor shook his head. “The Goose is locked in the deepest cell in the Empire’s strongest prison, Mortis Vincula. It has the most over-the-top security system you could imagine. I should know - I designed it.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be on our side?” 

“I am. That Goose is a threat to everyone, trust me.” 

“Very well. Continue on, please.” The King fiddled with a coin. 

“The Jester serves as the sole personal guard of the Emperor. There’s some sort of dark energy that surrounds him, giving him powers. It’s not like anything I’ve ever seen.” 

“Oh, I’ve seen something like that before,” the King mumbled. 

“And finally, your own counterpart. Oddly enough, he’s just a young boy: the Prince of the Ladder. He’s been groomed in service for the Empire.” 

“That’s… so strange.” 

“Thank you, Doctor.” Madeline gave him a smile. For a fraction of a second, the King saw the same insanity that possessed the previous Hatter, and wondered just what this girl had been through. “Thank you for your explanation. You may go now.” 

“Um. Thank you. Ah, goodbye.” 

The Doctor walked over to the door, opened it, and vanished into the night. 

OOO

The King rubbed his temples. What a brickload of information to be hit with. 

“This is such a strange situation, I must admit. What’s our next course of action?”

Madeleine shook her head. 

“I don’t think you understand. This isn’t some single guy that’s easy to topple over. The Empire has existed for millenia. Millenia. What makes you think you can tear it down?” 

“I could feed you some story about how hope and love triumphs over everything. But it doesn’t. What wins the day in the end is power. And we have power, no?” 

“They have more power.” 

“So, what? Is that an excuse to sit around and do nothing, as tyrants continue to rule over every single soul there ever was and there ever will be?” 

Madeleine sat there and thought for a moment. 

“We should talk to the Octoling Shopkeeper first,” she finally said. “She’s in touch with all the underground’s leaders. If we want allies, we ought to talk to her.” 

“The Underground… is that what the name of our rebellion is?” 

“Hey, that’s catchy. I like it.”

“So we’ll get in touch with her, and she can help us out. Sounds like a plan.” 

idk why but I like these stories so much 

Why did you lock up the goose? sad .goose is op

hopefully it escapes for the finale