Jokes Corner

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TOP TEN moments when youshould sense danger in chess:

1. There has been a change in the pawn structure; your opponent has 8 and you don’t have any.

2. Your opponent begins to throw pawns at your eyes.

3. You have a position won, but your opponent has a gun.

4. The Director tells you not to bother turning in your score sheet after the game.

5. Before the game begins you notice your opponent’s first initials are GM.

6. After completing your development you sense your opponent is playing the endgame.

7. Just as you make your opening move, your opponent announces mate in 11.

8. You don’t control any squares at all.

9. Your draw offer sends all the people watching your game into uncontrollable laughter.

10. Your opponent has three bishops.

List of top 10 excuses for loosing a game of chess:

1. Dog ate score sheet;
2. Dead batteries in hidden transmitter;
3. Went outside for fresh air, forgot about tournament;
4. Disturbed by own reflection in opponent’s sunglasses;
5. Still despondent over 1964 death of Fred Reinfeld;
6. Inexplicably confused ECO A29 line 13 note 87c with ECO A13 line note 87c; lost queen;
7. Unlucky pairing with historical nemesis G. Kasparov;
8. During play, pondered both sides of ICC controversy; lost on time;
9. Studied book *How to Beat Bobby Fischer*; was unprepared for other opponents;
10. After making move, accidentally punched opponent instead of clock.

Moment of thinking... These are few questions asked in IAS interview! The answers are really stunning and inspiring. Thinking out of the box! A must read…

Question 1:

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it's raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:

* An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

* An old friend who once saved your life.

* The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car?

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

He simply answered:

"I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

Question 2:

What will you do if I run away with your sister?

The candidate who was selected answered " I will not get a better match for my sister than you sir"

Question 3:

Interviewer (to a student girl candidate) – What is one morning you woke up & found that you were pregnant.

Girl – I will be very excited and take an off, to celebrate with my husband.

Normally an unmarried girl will be shocked to hear this, but she managed it well. Why I should think it in the wrong way, she said later when asked.

Question 4:

Interviewer: He ordered a cup of coffee for the candidate. Coffee arrived kept before the candidate, then he asked what is before you?

Candidate: Instantly replied "Tea"

He got selected.

You know how and why did he say "TEA" when he knows very well that coffee was kept before.

(Answer: The question was "What is before you (U – alphabet) Reply was "TEA" ( T – alphabet)

Alphabet "T" was before Alphabet "U"

Question5;

Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question.

Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for a while and said, "my choice is one really difficult question."

"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this. "What comes first, Day or Night?"

The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's the DAY sir!"

"How" the interviewer asked,

"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"

What happened after the invention of a wheel?

Ans- A revolution.

(Industrial revolution and a wheel revolves)!