My memoirs

My journey from fundamentalism to sanity--introduction

I take after my mom in one way; we are both bitchy.  Other than that I take after my dad; I am stubborn, opinionated, passionate, egotistical and have ocd (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I think the world should be perfect and it’s not, so therefore, life in general has been a series of frustrations and anxiety interspersed with brief interludes of enlightenment and clarity.

I think I should have been born a man but I would have undoubtedly turned out homosexual. I tell people I am a homosexual man in a woman’s body. In many ways I think like a man. When I was younger I chalked it up to the fact that I am left-handed.

My parents controlled me mercilessly. I grew up trying to be perfect in order to maintain their love. Sadly for me, I couldn’t obtain perfection. Sadly for them, I quit trying to be perfect in October , 1997. I figure I am going to live to be 107; I had a dream that I was going to live until 2072. It makes perfect sense to me because I didn’t get my first bike until I was 13 when most children learn to ride a bike around age 6 or 7. If my parents had bought me a bike when I was 6 or 7 all my life problems might have been solved. But it wasn’t meant to be that way and I was destined to start my teenage rebellion at the ripe old age of 32 so at this rate I suppose I will be fully socialized when I am in my 60’s.

I took a college psychology class in the late 80’s and as a class exercise we were told to write down our earliest childhood memory. If you are the type of person that loves pop psychology you might want to go write your earliest childhood memory before you read any further. I remember riding the train to California with my mom and sister. I had a doll in my hand and I was so excited to be traveling I could hardly contain my excitement. Then I remember pulling up into our driveway in the yellow Vega and imploring of my mom, “when will I EVER get to go to school and learn how to read?” Those are the main two but I also remember running around the house naked yelling, “I’m nekkid, I’m nekkid, I’m nekkid… and chasing my sister around my mom and dad’s bed. I also remember sucking my thumb and picking all the fuzz off my stuffed animals. The feeling of rubbing the fuzz between my thumb and fingers was very comforting for me.

Anyway, your first childhood memories are supposed to reveal aspects of your personality. I AM excited by newness and travel,  I LOVE to read and learn and I like trying to catch people that are running away from me. As for running around the house naked, I actually don’t like being naked all that much but I think it symbolizes the freedom of being able to express myself; something I was not often allowed to do.

Great line, Dianna!

And sorry to hear about the yellow Vega - that alone will probably cost you three sessions of high-priced therapy.

P.S. Don't stop here. And by all means, feel free to stick in some hyperbole - you have that poetic license framed and hung up on the wall after all.

I'm not very good at hyperbole   or sarcasm

I was tickled by your memory of picking the fuzz of your stuffed animals, my wife told me she used to do the same thing.  Question:  Did you stick the little fuzz balls up your nose like she did? 

I don't think so sadsongster but I do remember one time my sister was getting on my nerves and I stuck kleenex or cotton in my ears and I had to go to the doctor to have them remove it.