Ode to My Dislike for Gambits

A little poem I whipped up!  I did this just for entertainment and because I was bored.  I don't really despise gambits, but they do irk me.  Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading this!

Gambits.  I hate them, I hate them both ways.

Playing with and against them is a huge craze.

Down in material, but with a massive attack?

Ah, but it's the eye for tactics that I lack!

I despise the King's, and the From is a pest

I also hate the Benko and the Budapest.

The Falkbeer and Albin both are just nuts,

And the Duras looks like the work of a klutz!

The Blackmar-Diemer is annoying as heck.

The Englund and Soller are pains in the neck.

I hate the Alesi, Hobbs, Borg, Wing, Schneider,

Muzio, Latvian, Evans, and Ryder,

The Halloween, Gibbins, Staunton, and Krejcik,

The Halibut, Icelandic, Irish, Hartlaub-Charlick,

The Omega, Omega-Delta, Danish, and Goring,

The Ross and the Queen's, which can get quite boring,

The Lohn, Blackburne-Kloosterboer, Gaga,

Benoni, Comorant, Herrstrom, Smith-Morra,

All of these gambits annoy me so much,

Especially the ones against my beloved Dutch.

Here ends my raving on these plays

Although I really could bash them for days.

Thank you for letting me tell the facts

On what I think of these darn "sac attacks".

Love.
It.

So, keep up the boredom... I guess? 

I guess I might be able to appreciate the poem if I knew what any of those things were...

+1

Not really a chess player.

I've played the King's Gambit and the Evans in the past. They're both fun if you like an aggresively tactical game. The Evans is the sounder of the two.

I've never won one.  If I accept it, I'm screwed. If I decline, screwed x 2.

I myself enjoy a gambit. I prefer a tease to a tart, for when cornered in their own game they often will lay like professionals: but do so without any price or expectation. The value of the game is not in the victory, but how well it was played.