Well, you titled this "positional conversation" but I'm not so sure if the positional aspects of this position will decide the game.
Of course it won't. It's just something to consider. If positional play was half the game, and dynamic play was the other half, it would be absurd to ignore an entire half of the game when evaluating a position.
Most positions aren't really "Decided" by any one factor, anyways.
At an initial glance, I see a couple things: Black is two tempi ahead in development, black's bishop is wayyy better then white's bishy
Something I would like to challenge you on: Why is black's bishop better than white's? Of course, the pawns are on the opposite colors, but if you look at it, the bishop is basically hemmed in by white's pawns. White has a possible plan of moving his bishop to d2, e1, and then h4, where it would be a good bishop. Why is black's bishop strong?
but white has the ne5 knight, and black has great control over the e4 square which is usually bad for white in a stonewall position
Black usually has great control over e4, and white e5. It isn't really "better", per se, for either side, but just a characteristic of the position, and whoever can use their hole better is usually the better player.
which is usually bad for white in a stonewall position such as this because white usually lazarbeams the b1-h7 diagonal with his lsb but then again white doesn't have his lsb anymore.
This is correct
I think, based on those characteristics of the position, black is positionally better. What keeps white in the game and potentially makes him better is attacking ideas down the g-file.
Very good
And black's counter-play isn't so clear. c4, b5-b4, and stuff seems to slow and I honestly can't find anything other concrete ideas for black.
Yes, it does seem quite slow, doesn't it? And here is the core of the issue: can black limit white's aggression while slowly inching away on the queenside? If there were only a pair of knights on the board, black would be almost winning. So at the same time, white should be aware that he IS allowed to build up his attack if he needs, because black's attack isn't quite there yet.
The ideal way to play black in these positions is to try to have some of the bigger pieces multitask, for example, to have the queen guard some points on the kingside while also supporting the queenside.
but at my level I'm bent towards taking the attacking side of a position always because noone knows how to defend at my level.
fair
trading the knight on e5
Black doesn't trade the knight. That would be favorable to white. Instead, he wants white to pick up that knight.