Post your jokes, make me laugh and get free diamond membership!

A slice of apple pie costs $2.50 in Jamaica, $3.75 in Bermuda, and $3 in the Bahamas. Those are the pie-rates of the Caribbean.

*dives out the window*

nice , good enough. lol

tysm!

What would you get if you crossed a polar bear with a seal? A polar bear. (Because it would freeze/be too cold.)

Five out of six people agree that Russian Roulette is safe.

What do you think of the joke??

Here's a long one:

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"

What did the tree do after entering the library?

It called the police.

It was traumatized.

!!NEW CHESS HACK!!

To get free 900 ELO, you just have to...

...be better at chess...

hmmm...

I already have one so…i will just hang out until i get super admin or admin so i will just be an active member i think?

What do you call a guy who wers ear muffs?

You can call them anything you like because he can't hear you!

What did the chessboard say to the waiter?
Check, mate.

okay ill make mine better

FREE ELO CHEAT!

Get 900 extra ELO by becoming a bot!

hmmm

Here's another one:

What is the easiest way to make a GM laugh?

A. Tell him a joke. 24%

B. Do stupid stuff like a clown in a circus. 7%

C. Say that you're only 100 elo rated. 100%

Some of my favorite things are snow robots playing Minecraft and not using commas.

Here's another one-
Why do rooks love vacations?
Because they stay in their castle all day.