"Whiny Undergrads" Forum

For the sake of amusement, I thought we could generate some funny incidents on these lines. Not to stereotype all undegrads, of course. But if you have any funny stories I'd to hear them.

Common fountains of amusement include:

-stupid lab mishaps

-dumb or blatant cheating

-interesting excuses

-goofing off during workstudy

-begging

I hope I don't sound sadistic, but anyways if you have any particular amusing experiences I would be interested.

I had a Spanish professor this semester who had someone offer her $5000 just for a passing grade...  Pathetic

Wow that is drastic. Of course, undergrads collectively are like a parallel universe-anything that can happen, will happen, a lot of times.

@Math_Magician, one of my professors was offered 5000 DKK ~ 1000$ by a Chinese student if he would let him pass... my professor refused the money and told him, that he already passed, since the only requirement to do so was to pass your hand-ins (which the student had probably plagiarized.)

On the subject of blatant cheating: At my university one of the exam-forms (in mathematics) is such that you can take the exam (which typically consist of ~ 5 problems) home. You are then given 3 days to do the problems. You are not, however, allowed to consult anybody else about the problems! You sign a legal binding paper saying you will not do so. ... Well these two Chinese chaps (I don't want to come across as a racist, but most cheating at my uni is done by Chinese students) handed in two identical papers!! And the best part is, that even though they had been working together, they still hadn't done enough to pass the exam!! LMFAO!!

"Well these two Chinese chaps... handed in two identical papers!! And the best part is, that even though they had been working together, they still hadn't done enough to pass the exam!! LMFAO!!"

That is quite funny, honestly. I know a few places have honor systems like that.

I'm in High School, but there are a few fun quotes, being in a magnet program school:

//Freshman are collecting and testing water samples at Lake Needwood

Student 1: You fill it up.
Student 2: Eww, no. You.
Student 1: I'll get gloves.
Student 2: Okay.
Teacher 1: Is that my student using glove? Why my student use glove?
Student 2: The water's so dirty...
Teacher 1: When in my class do you use glove?! You guy all wimps.

//later...
Student 1: (gets gloves)
Teacher 1: What I tell you?! You not need glove! You ever get hurt in class not using glove?
Student 1: Yeah, when we were using acetic acid I had a papercut and it hurt.
Teacher 1: ...WIMPS! *walks away*

--------------------

Teacher 2: Hey (student), I just got in a fight with Teacher 1 about you.
Student 3: Really?
Teacher 2: Yeah.  I said you're smart, but  he disagreed.
Student 3: Who won?
Teacher 2: Well I won because I was right, it was a tough arguement.
Student 3: Why?
Teacher 2: He had evidence to suggest that I was wrong.
Student 3: Like what?
Teacher 2: Your chemistry grade.

------------------

(Teacher 3 wakes Student 4 up)
Teacher 3: Why does everyone keep falling asleep? *sigh* Okay, keep reading.
(A student keeps reading the assignment, Student 4 starts talking to someone)
Teacher 3: [Student 4's name here], GO BACK TO SLEEP!
(Entire class laughs)
Teacher 3: In my 26 years of teaching that's the first time I've ever said that to student.

I would imagine high schooler stories are somewhat less funny because we already expect them to be less mature and give them low expectations. With a college student perhaps we naturally do not assume such a thing but as one can see there is often little difference.

Well, we're supposed to actually have common sense...

My math teacher is a fairly big person, and he had just found out about the heaviside method for partial fractions.  He visited another class to tell another teacher.  The class over heard him talking about it and asked if he made it up.  Pun on heaviside "heavy side".  After wikipediaing it, it was found that they had the same birthday.

Also, during a recent field trip:

Teacher 1: Don't touch poison ivy!  It's dangerous!  Stay on the path!

//I walk along the side of the path looking for poison ivy to photograph

Teacher 1:  Hey, away from the side!  Get back on the path!

Me:  But I'm trying to take a picture of poison ivy...

Teacher 1 (to Teacher 2):  He thinks having a camera makes him immune to the poison ivy.

Teacher 2:  Well, photographers don't die in war zones, so...

Teacher 1: /*Gives teacher 2 a strange look*/

Teacher 2 (in a reluctant voice):  Okay, stay on the path.

Teacher 2 just happened to be the field trip coordinator

The heaviside joke is a good one, although that class must have been fairly "unenlightened". I think it would be wise to question the enlightenment of teacher 2 as well.

Here is a stupid story,

When I was an undergraduate, a friend of mine and I took a Chemistry class together and were lab partners. One night in lab, we were doing some sort of experiement involving a mixture that is fairly benign when wet but when dry becomes very volitile sensitive to touch(IE, droping something on a pile of this stuff will result in an explosion).

So we are working, my friend used the wrong tongs to pick up the beaker of this mixed solution. Next thing we all knew, he dropped the beaker and this solution went everywhere. Naturally, we tried to clean it up pretty quickly before it dried. I still give him a hard time about that.

That story was dumb, here is a better one.
Undergraduates in physics at my University have to take at least one quarter of Circuit Analysis(besides the usual 3rd quarter class in basic physics oriented circuit analysis, taught out of the basic physics book)
When I took this class, they was this guy that just seemed to have the worst luck with his circuits. I dont know why but he was always blowing things up (I am not joking here!!) One day, we had a lab where we had to wire up some circuit involving electrolytic capacitors (Which are polarized). I don't know if he wired it in backwards, or applied too much power, or what the deal was but his capacitor exploded. He had been hovering over his set up this entire time- looking at it from the top, the top of the capacitor, after the capacitor blew up, hit him right in the face, about 4mm from his eye. Its funny because he managed to blow things up in that class that we didn't think were possible to blow up!  (Of course the following quarter, in the digital electronics class, I blew up a junction transistor, the instructor asked me if he could keep it- the break was perfect, you could actually see the N and P materials inside!!)

Mmm... some classic lab accidents. I have seen a centrifuge *nearly* blow apart across a lab once because the student did not know how to use it properly.

"As an undergrad, I had to take Chemistry naturally"-from what I have seen Chemistry is indeed one of those things were cheating is rife in almost every aspect.

"WERE OFFENDED when we wouldn't show our tests."-That's pretty rich!

This is what i hate baout school in general,. WHY IN THE WORLD DO STUDENTS ACT DUMB IN CLASS!!!!

Cos' they ain't as smart as you.

[Thinking back, that would apply to me on occasion. I was particularly fond of that easily manufactured substance that is safe when wet and goes bang when dry. So I applied some of it to the blackboard rubber used by our new physics teacher, who was fresh out of college. Not only did it make an impressive bang, it knocked it out of his hand. He was a nervous chap even before that ...]

I am going to teach my first undergrad class this fall.. I will keep you guys posted!! =)

Good luck as a TA.

I am not a TA, I am the teacher =) ..

! my congratulations and condolences.

Hehe.. =) .. Yeah I am kinda looking forward to it, but I am not the most patient person when people do not understand what I am trying to teach them the first time!

Luckily it is a course for advanced undergraduates, and usually there are at most 10 students attending..

10 or less students sounds normal (unfortunately I suppose)