Golden ribbons of light sliced through the slots between the blinds on the windows.One of the beams found its way to Juline’s face, and she stirred for a moment before waking.She tried to stand up, but seized up in mid-rise.She fell back on the couch, wracked with pain in almost every part of her body.
Her legs were where it hurt most.It felt like somebody was driving huge screws threw them.Her throbbing arms ran a close second though.She tried to stand again, but found that she could hardly move.Her joints had stiffened; she was one big bag of lactic acid.
She sat there for hours, trying to ignore the pain.Sometimes it would recede, but then it would return.Then it would get worse than normal, and then go back.It was a miserable way to spend the morning.At least, she thought it was morning.
She was quickly proven wrong when she glanced at the window.No more sunlight was coming through.By the Nine, had she really slept for twenty-four hours?
After a while, the pain seemed to die down and she tried once again to stand.Her legs still protested, but she was able to rise up and support herself.She hobbled over toward the washroom where she disrobed and uncovered several buckets of water.One by one, she filled the iron tub with their contents and then took a log from a pile in the corner.She then placed it under the tub.She procured a match from a small box on a little table next to the tub, struck a flame on it, and lit the log.
She had a couple minutes while the water was heating up.She moseyed into the bedroom, half expecting to hear more of Shape-Shifter’s mockery.She was not disappointed.Not five seconds after she passed through the doorway did the little pest of a thing pipe up.
“Aww...did you have a nice beddy-bye time?”It said.
“Stuff it, you...thing.”She replied.
“Oh come now.Is that any way to speak to the person who saved your life?”
“You saved me?Near as I could tell back there, you tried to get me killed.”
“I was only funning with you.Geez, you’re as uptight as the rest of the mortals, aintcha?”
“I don’t know what kind of trick you’re trying to pull now, but I’m not falling for it.”She said, pacing the floor.”
“It’s no trick, darling.You think it was sheer dumb luck that your blade managed to turn perfectly upright when you fell?Ha!Nobody has that kind of luck my dear, nobody.Well, maybe ol’ Gaenor.”
“Gaenor?”Juline asked?
“Oh never mind him...just some fool of a Bosmer with big lucky streak and an even bigger mouth.Finally got the crap kicked out of him in Mournhold, heard he mouthed off to the Nerevarine himself.Anyway...what I was getting to was that I turned your blade upright.”
“What??”Juline said incredulously.“How could you have done that when I had you in my hand?”
Shape-Shifter did not answer, but instead morphed into a puddle on the bed.Then, it hurled itself at Juline and wrapped around her, taking on the form of armor with an alien fashion.Then it peeled off and snaked around her back onto the bed where it curled up into a ball.It then proceeded to bounce up and down, changing into a different type of weapon with each ascent.First it became a dagger, then a sword, then an axe, then a mace, then a hammer, and lastly a bow and arrow.
“Let’s just say that I’m very flexible, miss.”It finally said.
Juline nearly fainted.“What the hell are you?”She muttered inwardly.
Well, I'm at present focusing on Chapter 3 of Shape-Shifter. I've got a bit so far and I'd like some feedback on how it's written.
Shape-Shifter: Chapter 3
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Golden ribbons of light sliced through the slots between the blinds on the windows. One of the beams found its way to Juline’s face, and she stirred for a moment before waking. She tried to stand up, but seized up in mid-rise. She fell back on the couch, wracked with pain in almost every part of her body.
Her legs were where it hurt most. It felt like somebody was driving huge screws threw them. Her throbbing arms ran a close second though. She tried to stand again, but found that she could hardly move. Her joints had stiffened; she was one big bag of lactic acid.
She sat there for hours, trying to ignore the pain. Sometimes it would recede, but then it would return. Then it would get worse than normal, and then go back. It was a miserable way to spend the morning. At least, she thought it was morning.
She was quickly proven wrong when she glanced at the window. No more sunlight was coming through. By the Nine, had she really slept for twenty-four hours?
After a while, the pain seemed to die down and she tried once again to stand. Her legs still protested, but she was able to rise up and support herself. She hobbled over toward the washroom where she disrobed and uncovered several buckets of water. One by one, she filled the iron tub with their contents and then took a log from a pile in the corner. She then placed it under the tub. She procured a match from a small box on a little table next to the tub, struck a flame on it, and lit the log.
She had a couple minutes while the water was heating up. She moseyed into the bedroom, half expecting to hear more of Shape-Shifter’s mockery. She was not disappointed. Not five seconds after she passed through the doorway did the little pest of a thing pipe up.
“Aww...did you have a nice beddy-bye time?” It said.
“Stuff it, you...thing.” She replied.
“Oh come now. Is that any way to speak to the person who saved your life?”
“You saved me? Near as I could tell back there, you tried to get me killed.”
“I was only funning with you. Geez, you’re as uptight as the rest of the mortals, aintcha?”
“I don’t know what kind of trick you’re trying to pull now, but I’m not falling for it.” She said, pacing the floor.”
“It’s no trick, darling. You think it was sheer dumb luck that your blade managed to turn perfectly upright when you fell? Ha! Nobody has that kind of luck my dear, nobody. Well, maybe ol’ Gaenor.”
“Gaenor?” Juline asked?
“Oh never mind him...just some fool of a Bosmer with big lucky streak and an even bigger mouth. Finally got the crap kicked out of him in Mournhold, heard he mouthed off to the Nerevarine himself. Anyway...what I was getting to was that I turned your blade upright.”
“What??” Juline said incredulously. “How could you have done that when I had you in my hand?”
Shape-Shifter did not answer, but instead morphed into a puddle on the bed. Then, it hurled itself at Juline and wrapped around her, taking on the form of armor with an alien fashion. Then it peeled off and snaked around her back onto the bed where it curled up into a ball. It then proceeded to bounce up and down, changing into a different type of weapon with each ascent. First it became a dagger, then a sword, then an axe, then a mace, then a hammer, and lastly a bow and arrow.
“Let’s just say that I’m very flexible, miss.” It finally said.
Juline nearly fainted. “What the hell are you?” She muttered inwardly.