You nearly fixed all of the issues for which your position has been declined, so now it just feels a little too cheap. The thing is, it is all about developing queens now - camel-rider does balance it out slightly. However, pieces that can be developed before queens are still lacking - alibaba is not very useful, so maybe a stronger piece would be better (i.e. add a knight-rider near kingside).
You already have a pretty good amount of pieces considering the FFC, so I would suggest adding a single stronger piece as a sideline to queen development.
Two checks for the king is a good idea then, you keep the original concept idea but the gameplay would be way richer. However, test middlegames with stronger players so that you can make sure suicidal checks are not a mainline strategy.
Should i do it?
Links: https://www.chess.com/4-player-chess?g=9967560-46
https://www.chess.com/4-player-chess?g=9967620-40
https://www.chess.com/4-player-chess?g=9968837-64
https://www.chess.com/4-player-chess?g=9968787-35
https://www.chess.com/4-player-chess?g=9968707-107
https://www.chess.com/4-player-chess?g=10123239-48
https://www.chess.com/4-player-chess?g=10123198
So, 1. I Note that the king isnt that of a target with the new walls, so maybe 2+ so there is less king-koth and eventually more pawn-koth.
and 2. Sometimes i feel there is not much to do on the position so i would ad an alibaba or knight, or both.
What do you think? Should i rather do what i have already?