I learned chess on my own for the most part like you. I learned how to play as a kid by watching and replicating the computer's moves. I played for a few years but stopped because I couldn't see problems ahead of time.
I revisited chess back in 2015/2016. I played casually on my phone. However, the same thing happened. I couldn't see problems ahead of time. I finally decided to read a book. I read Bobby Fischer Teaches Chess in 2017 hoping to find an answer to my childhood problem. What I realized was I already knew 80% of what was in that book. I was pretty amazed because I learned all of it from playing against the computer. The book was wonderful but it did not shed any light on how I could see problems ahead of time. I gave up on books and went back to casual play.
In 2018, I finally got sick of losing pieces so I decided to just play against Chess Tiger for iOS at really hard levels (3040, 2430 and 2090). I played until I lost up to 2 pawns. Obviously I lost at least 2 pawns every game. Once that happened, I stopped the game and rewinded back a few moves. I asked myself how could I have seen the loss of my piece in advanced. Once I figured that out, I changed the way I played and repeated the process over again. I did that for 3 years (2018 to 2020) and basically learned about tactics and how to protect my material without books. In my opinion it was better than reading any book. The most important part of that experience for me was learning how to apply concepts learned from my game analysis.
As good as it was to just learn by playing, I struggled with openings which was so foreign to me. I had no idea what factors to consider for that area of chess because it was harder to see loss of time for an opening than it would be to see a loss of a bishop. I ended up having to go back to books. I read Discovering Chess Openings at the end of 2020. The beauty of that book was that it provided the basic principles of openings that I was missing. All I had to do was apply what was in the book and then change the way I play just like I did with my tactical game analysis back in 2018 to 2020. I am no expert in openings, but I can at least play a dynamic opening without a loss of time or material. To me that is pretty awesome.
Overall, I would say learning concepts either by playing or by reading books is fine. In my opinion, the key factor is knowing how to apply what was learned and changing the way one plays chess.
In the long distant past, I owned several chess study books, but for perhaps my own peculiar reasons, I found the very act of reading them rather uninspiring. So I stopped reading them. This is why...
As a lifelong musician, I'm busy enough, and have no ambitions of making a career of chess. Most importantly though, was the realization that since I'm a happy recreational player, one of the greatest joys--and pure learning experiences--that mean so much to me in this game is to come up with all my moves, all on my own.
I decided I didn't want to learn and memorize all the brilliant tactics of the grandmasters. I wanted the full exercise of coming up with my own approaches and solutions -- from philosophical overview to every single move.
In this way, I've enjoyed, rather immensely, this beautiful game for decades.
Naturally, I make my mistakes, but they too are great teachers. More often than not however, I've generally been able to hold my own. And now the best part...
Every now and again, I come up with a truly beautiful, game changing move. I understand every step along the way to having come up with such a move, and the intellectual exhilaration and satisfaction is sublime. Had I spent any of these games relying on--or even thinking about--the moves and tactics of those who came before me, I simply couldn't feel right about reveling in my own brilliance for a few glorious if fleeting moments!
I'm wondering -- are there others here who've chosen a similar path on their journeys through this beautiful game?
Always in Beginner's Mind,
Melissa