BirdBrain wrote:
a joke told over and over and over just isn't funny anymore - it really loses something ;-)
Yes, I've heard the "platypus waddles into a bar..." joke, a thousand times...
1.e4 f6?!
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Feb 5, 2012
0
#162
Feb 5, 2012
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#163
Trysts, I don't know that one, so although it would be old for you, I've never heard it :-)
Feb 5, 2012
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#164
BirdBrain wrote:
Trysts, I don't know that one, so although it would be old for you, I've never heard it :-)
Neither have I, I was just kidding. It sounded like a funny start to a joke
Feb 5, 2012
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#165
This one is okay-
A platypus walks into a bar and tells the bartender,"Got any grapes?" The bartender says ,"No, now go away!." The platypus walks int othe bar again and says, "Got any grapes?" The bartender says,"No and if you ask me that one more time I'll staple your webbed feet into the floor!" The platypus walks into the bar again and says,"Do you have any staples?" And the bartender says,"No." Then the platypus says,"Got any grapes?"
This next one is not too bad -
The platypus went into a bar. He bought two sodas. "That'll be $2.50, please" said the bartender. "Just put it on my bill" said the platypus.
Hey, you can find ANYTHING on the Internet!
http://www.platypus.org.uk/humour01.htm
Feb 5, 2012
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#166
BirdBrain wrote:
This one is okay-
A platypus walks into a bar and tells the bartender,"Got any grapes?" The bartender says ,"No, now go away!." The platypus walks int othe bar again and says, "Got any grapes?" The bartender says,"No and if you ask me that one more time I'll staple your webbed feet into the floor!" The platypus walks into the bar again and says,"Do you have any staples?" And the bartender says,"No." Then the platypus says,"Got any grapes?"
This next one is not too bad -
The platypus went into a bar. He bought two sodas. "That'll be $2.50, please" said the bartender. "Just put it on my bill" said the platypus.
Hey, you can find ANYTHING on the Internet!
Hilarious!
Feb 5, 2012
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#167
I guess you now have some ammo for the guys! :-) If I tell these to my wife, I will have to catch her eyes before they roll out of her head! :-)
Feb 5, 2012
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#168
BirdBrain wrote:
I guess you now have some ammo for the guys! :-) If I tell these to my wife, I will have to catch her eyes before they roll out of her head! :-)
kid_of_chess wrote:
Continue with g5!!
1.e4? f6!
2.d4? g5!! :)
what a chess joke
Feb 7, 2012
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#170
melvinbluestone wrote:
hessmaster wrote:
melvinbluestone wrote:
chrisr2212 wrote:
i think i will smash my guitar now
This is another thing wrong with 1...f6: Apparently, it induces strange acts of violence. ..... Didn't Alekhine supposedly smash all the furniture in his hotel room after losing a game? I wonder if 1...f6 was involved?
Also just to add on...didn't Alekhine once throw his queen across the room? And didn't a player once sneak into the tournament hall and cut off the heads of all the queens...? The list is going on...f6 is the culprit!!
This could be the most important discovery in the history of human psychology! Listen to this: From the New York Times........ "Recently discovered evidence indicates that, in 1914, Archduke Franz Ferdinand wasn't assassinated at all! He simply played 1...f6!!"
!!! Off with his head!
f6, Kf7, e6 =/+
Apr 18, 2012
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#172
I think I saw this line earlier in the thread, it definitely deserves another looking at.
Edit: It is somewhat dubious though, as black will end up with doubled pawns 
Apr 18, 2012
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#174
BirdBrain wrote:
That is the Krazy Kat.
It's crazy all right, and it shows one of the perils of 1...f6.
1...f6 is playable I suppose, but you have to be careful.
I think the Krazy Kat is a different move order, and move order is very important here.
I think there's a consensus that black has better moves than 1. ...f6. HOWEVER, I haven't seen anybody show common lines where white obtains the edge (much less equalizes) in this opening.
So far we've seen the "Krazy Kat" opening, but in the words of GM Roman Dzindzichashvili, "Any opening named after an animal is bad"! On the other hand, any opening works against the unprepared.
So... what's the refutation to the "Krazy Kat"?
That's a very horrible defense!! Why would black purposefully open up a very diagonal for no reason while blocking the development of the Nf6 knight? Who in their right minds would do crazy things like this?
For Pete's sake, it's a surprise opening. As is with all unorthodox openings, one of the key benefits of using them OTB is the element of surprise, buying time while putting the opponent in unfamiliar opening territory. I'd like to take this thread a little seriously at least, so that I for one will have the most advantageous line prepared if I ever face something like it myself. "Playing natural moves" almost always works, but being somewhat familiar with the best responses to the opening and the ideas behind such responses is even better.
Here are some sample games, and my own rough analyses.
Game 3:
Game 4:
Chris, it was funny the first TWO times someone posted the obvious lines that not one of us would consider playing...but now it is over 10 times. Amazing - the same joke told at least once a page! Gets a bit dry.
I have told people a great gag gift at the chess club for the birthday party would be for the birthday boy to beat everyone in the club by fool's mate just for fun - so it could be done with White or Black!
For future reference, a joke told over and over and over just isn't funny anymore - it really loses something ;-)