Playing with idiots

I am well aware that my mmr is low and I just started playing on this site but I have played a significant number of games. I have not met a single player who doesn't try to check mate me with their queen in three moves. I'm serious I have not played a single game where my opponent won't try to check mate me in 3 moves. It's gotten to the point where I feel the need to troll the crap out of them so this is what I do.

Black vs White

Start off with a simple Sicilian defense F7-F5, G8-F6 by this time white has his queen out. Not even kidding every single game. So I start attacking the queen and white spends his first 10 moves moving his queen and that in turn sets up my board perfectly. He literally chooses the tiles I control at this point. You can't punish this play any harder.

White vs Black

Ok here is where I start trolling them and remember this is every game I played on this site, no player had varied from this stupid opening in my games. I do the unthinkable I go F2-F3, E1-F2 giving my opponent the biggest advantage possible. They fall for it every time because these people don't know how to play. Black will do the same thing every time and it's gotten to the point where every time I'm white the first 6 moves are always the exact same. Black goes D7-D5 Bishop to C5 checking my king, I block with my pon, then Queen to H4 checking my king again and I block it with my pon, this threatens the queen so he has to move his queen away. I take out one of my horses and win the game from there. I've never lost a game on this site with that opening.

Why do people play like this on this site? This is supposed to be a chess community, why do you all play like you're 3 years old? Hopefully I win more games like this and get out of this sandbox because these toddlers smell like dirty diapers.

EVERY SINGLE TIME EVERY TIME ALL THE TIME NEVER A TIME WHEN IT'S NOT THE TIME

Ummmm...errr.....if you are going to have a rant, can I repsectfully suggest 3 thing?

(1) Perhaps post to a more conducive part of the forum? While techincally your post is about the opening, it is more about the banality of certain chess players which means perhaps posting to "General chess" just might get you more answers

(2) If you going to ridicule ones opponents by suggesting they play like 3 years then I would again respectfully suggest that using terms like "pon" and "horses" does not help your point and.....

(3) More in the vain of my 2nd suggestion. You mention a simple Sicilian defence with f7-f5 and G8-f6?..I would suggest, again respectfully, you perhaps take a deep breath before you rant......or at least check what you write because a simple Sicilian is actually a Dutch Defence (v 1.d4) and The Fred (v 1.e4).......I am assuming you meant c7-c5 & b8-c6 perhaps...

Have a nice day

HTH

Your Egotistical rant solves nothing. Don't judge someone by their game everyone makes mistakes or is learning

i played a lot of idiots to get cheap rating points, seriously though, they make you start at 800.

I just thought it was funny guys it's not like I'm freaking over here don't take it so personally. The next game I played my opponent didn't even use his queen, I mean it's just an interesting experience thought I'd share it. That's why I put it under starters, not asking any questions not try start any arguments. You guys think it was too provocative maybe you should stop being little babies and take it for what it is.....a funny story. So go suck it don't post on my topics if you don't like what I say.

Seriously guys I'm talking about wining games here. You act like I'm screaming into my keyboard.

 This post is supposed to be used for useful stuff, not the kind of comments that people are making (not mentioning their names but you may know who I'm talking about)

You've lost more games than you've won against the people you call idiots. 

Mr. Enoch42 joined 11 August 2017 and explained to the users the world of chess!

I haven't found cheap trap players in my daily games at all.  They often do things like playing the Bayonet Attack vs the Caro Kann or other moves to get me out of "book" but generally play solid chess.  My avg. opponent has been rated 1812 and that might make a difference.

So just win your games, raise your rating, and you'll get more serious play.

 Play vs 2k+, they will show you how to control the center when u play f3,kf2 !

I've had the same experience, but while I lost a lot of games to "gimmicky" opening tactics, I've also found it's helped my opening game. I discovered that if I lost to a cheap early mate attempt, it was because I was trying to build a certain opening position and wasn't being mindful of what that opening accomplishes and why.

Just yesterday, a guy tried to "run up the score" on me by delaying a mate in a winning pawn ending just so he could have two queens on the board. He went five moves out of his way to get that extra queen, and I snuck my King into a stalemate. (This is why I always play to the end. My opponents might find it annoying, but I learn a lot by fighting through a lost position, and at my level, you never know when someone's going to make a mistake and throw things my way.)

Part of the beauty of chess is that the truth (almost) always comes out on the board. If people are playing gimmicky moves it is up to us to prove them wrong over the board. I empathize that sometimes this is frustrating, my personal bugbear is playing the Sicilian and constantly getting 2 Bc4, but we must try to improve to increase our rating to move out of the shallows.

Prove they are idiots on the chessboard, increase your rating and you'll find better players and more interesting games.

Bringing out the queen early is what players with 500 rating like to do. But you don't seem to be that good at defending against this. In the last game that you won with black, white was winning until he just blundered his queen to the fork. 

Raise your rating up to 1300 or so, and you'll get players who take the game more seriously. If you can't do that, chances are good that you are not better than your opponents now.

lucky you! I never play with people like those