C5 usually
Post your favorite response to 1.e4

So what if e5 is boring? Play it! If you've learned anything yet, it should be that chess is not for hot-dogs!
1...e5 is not boring. The d5 variation of the Two Knights Defence has been quite fun to play recently, and the Ruy Lopez is always a blast.

For me, it was a process of elimination. 1. ..c5 was fine, but seems annoyingly overpopular, and the razor's edge of some variations can get annoying. I started running into players rated 500 points lower that had 20+ moves memorized. 1. ..c6 left white with too many options and too much space for my taste. 1. ..e5 certainly has its merits, but I felt I was was often getting forced into long, slow defenses playing for 2 results. And the constant barrage of critical gambit lines made my head spin. 1. ..d5 seemed to leave white firmly in the driver's seat and seemed to give white too much space and development for my liking. Also I wanted more pawn levers and more active plans. 1. ...g6 was fun, but I started to see it everywhere at my club and I also got tired of playing the game of white's choosing, not mine. So I've settled on 1. ...e6. It has it's issues, but it gives me solidity, counterattack, pawn play, and forces white to defend his advanced center or give me some good activity. Never tried 1. ...Nf6.
Only ...e6 gives you that.

I usually play 1. ... Nh6 followed by f6, Nf7, h5, g5 Bg7, Nh6, etc etc.
what the f is that? hows that working out for you?
I think he was probably joking..

Wow, no mention of Nf6... by far the best if you want the e4 player to be confused and out of his game... it is the*only* forcing response, by virtue of being the *fastest* counterattack.
Now if it were only sound!!! (j/k... it's playable in almost all situations, and black can get a plus very quickly... )

1. a6 or h6 (St George Defense or Carr Defense)
2. e5 or e6,c5 ( Kings Pawn or French Defence : Franco-Sicilian Variation)
3. e6,Nc6 (French Defence : Franco-Nimzowitsch Variation)
4. e6,c6,b5 (French : Queens Knight Variation)
5. c6,e5 (Caro-Kann with 2.e5!)
6. b6,a5 or h5 (Owens Defense or Ware Opening or Goldsmith Defense)
7. e5,b5,c6,d5,Bc5,Bxf2+,Qh4+ (AV-Traxler Gambit)
8. e5,b5,c6,d5,d4...c5,Bxa4,Nc6 (AV Gambit / Anti-Vienna Gambit)
aaaah good old reliable french! Was so sick of it but my last tournament rekindled my love for the first opening i learnt!