Ranking all responses to e4

No, b4 and f4 are trash moves against the Sicilian.

I think GothamChess is getting to your brain. There’s only 1 really challenging Sicilian variation: the Open Sicilian. Everything else can be taken care of by studying for 5 minutes, 20 minutes max, even the Smith-Morra. There are a few decent Anti-Sicilians like the Rossolimo, but the Sicilian Defense is not a hard opening to learn, speaking from a player who turned from a Gotham stan to a Najdorf Sicilian player.

they are -0.3 and 0.00, respectively

g3 and Nc3 are generally going to transpose into the same thing, a fianchetto Closed Sicilian, which is a very easy game for black. It's been demonstrated that black can actually seize an advantage here.

All 0.0 apparently but black wins most of the games.

f4 is a known poor move against the Sicilian because of d5. That's why Nc3 is played first and then f4, the Grand Prix Attack, but even then it's still better for black.

b4 is actual trash. Not just losing a pawn for poor compensation but also crippling the queenside.

It’s just the King’s Indian except it’s against 1. e4. It tries to get aggressive with e5, f5, and a kingside attack. Austrian Attack’s a goat against it though

(brilliant flair for dramatic effect)

2. f4 actually has a better record against the Caro-Kann than the Sicilian.

Open Sicilian’s great for both sides. Both sides get dynamic advantages yet obtain almost no weaknesses. Absolute perfection and it’s a crime it doesn’t get played more.

Closed Sicilian just allows black to get a spacious position on the queenside- and white’s pawn storm is easily stopped.

Grand Prix Attack gives a decent position but it just doesn’t work. Gotham demonstrated a bullet game where Magnus Carlsen was playing the opening, don’t even say it.

Smith-Morra’s acceptable but black can easily neutralize white’s advantage and be a pawn up.

Wing Gambit’s absolute garbage and white destroys his own queenside and gives up a pawn so black can have the upmost advantage

Alapin’s decent but d5 almost immediately equalizes.

Moscow’s just not reliable.

Rossolimo’s great and I love it but not everyone’s gonna play Nc6 against 2. Nf3.

Tiviakov or whatever it’s called is good and I think it’s a useful sideline, but black does well in it.

Everything else is just a major sideline that equalizes almost immediately.

I'm looking up all these moves in the database to compare the defences. You know 2. Nf3 legitimately has a better record against the Caro-Kann than the Sicilian as well?

Against the Sicilian, 2. Nf3 is 32W/25B

Against the Caro-Kann, 2. Nf3 is 35W/26B

(In the master's database)

Wow. That’s insane. Well, the Sicilian’s been played way much more so I don’t think the ratio’s exactly fair, and the Caro’s been played a lot by beginners who don’t really know how to refute Nf3.

Wait, master’s database? Nf3’s probably been played like 2 times against the Caro if that’s the case

Yeah the sample size is totally different so it's not an even comparison. This is in the master's database though.

3207 times against the Caro-Kann

433,274 times against the Sicilian

yeah according to the chess.com database, 1. Na3 has a better reputation than 1. e4

2. f4 is scoring much better against the Caro-Kann

Against the Sicilian, this position

is 23W/34B (953 games)

Against the Caro-Kann, this position

is 32W/33B (104 games)

Oh wow according to the chess.com database 1. e4 c5 is more common than 1. e4 e5

Lol, it's 14 games though. Still funny that it has a positive score in the master's database.

In the amateur's database it has an overwhelmingly negative score from 481,936 games.