Styles of the Sicilian Defense

I'm looking for concise and conceptual summaries of different Sicilian lines. Not wanting theoretical information. For example I am reading "Fundamental Chess Openings" by Sterren, and from that I have gathered that the Sicilian is essentially a very flexible mix between positional and tactical play. Any line can go either direction. This being said, they compare on a spectrum relative to eachother.

The Nc6 lines (Classical, 4 Knights, Sveshnikov) are the most flexible, the e6 lines (Scheveningen, Kan, Taimanov) are more solid, and the d6 lines (Dragon, Najdorf) are the most sharp.

I have tried every line and simply do not understand this maze called the Sicilian (except for closed sicilian as white). I am about to give up on ever trying to learn it, but thought maybe some conceptual information about the "feel", "style", "personality", etc. of each line would sway me to keep trying and find a line I can wrap my head around.

I think the Classical Sicilian is a d6 line.

I have only played the Najdorf from the White side. From what I can gather it's a tremendously theoretical variation where Black plays e5 and leaves a big hole on d5 but it's ok "because Garry Kasparov does it". (kidding)  It's also the most respected and popular Sicilian at least in the present day.

I have played the Dragon as Black for over two years. I believe the Dragon isn't a very good Sicilian for playing longer chess games online because people will use opening explorer. (There's often this long pause after I play g6 and then after the pause ends my opponents will quickly bust out 15 moves of Yugoslav Attack theory)  I also feel that because of the Yugoslav Attack the Dragon is a bit shaky, and probably one of the worse Sicilians, the opening explorer issue playing games online with it just makes the problem a whole lot worse.

I am investigating the Accelerated Dragon now and compared to the Classical Dragon I think it has some advantages. First there is no cookie-cutter Yugoslav Attack plan, and there's less theory so the opening can be played more on ideas and familiarity especially in the Maroczy Bind. The Accelerated Dragon is considered one of the more solid Sicilians.

I've also dabbled a bit in the Taimanov and I think this would be one of the easier Sicilians for a very beginner. Check out the games of Judit Polgar in this, she often delays castling and launches an attack on the White kingside with h5-Ng4 as in the following game http://www.chessgames.com/perl/chessgame?gid=1110797

You might find the book "Starting Out The Sicilian" by John Emms helpful, as the purpose of the book is to give an overview of all the Sicilians.

everyone knows how to rip black a new one from the white side of the dragon, I would not doubt if they knew the first 15 moves by heart. 

Everyone knows the general set-up of Be3 Qd2 0-0-0 change the bishops off and pawn storm. Not many people know the specific move orders and intricacies. If you were given a pop quiz right now would you be able to recite 15 moves of Dragon theory and all the branches?

This was happening in at least a third of my online Dragon games. The game would proceed quickly for the first five moves 1.e4 c5 2.Nf3 d6 3.d4 cxd4 4.Nxd4 Nf6 5.Nc3 g6 here there would be a long pause. Once one of my opponents paused here for 15 minutes. After the pause ends, they quickly play out 10 moves of theory and end up out-theorying me in my own opening that I've played and studied for over two years. And it's always the people who pause after 5...g6 who are doing this.

Once after a game my opponent even admitted to using opening explorer, he said he didn't realize that it was cheating.

Like Dolphin27 mentioned,  Starting Out: Sicilian would be a nice way to start.

Also don't get  frustrated because you can't understand everything right away. Nobody does. Just keep at it, try playing some lines, gain some experience, and soon enough, you should get the feel for it.

I don't. I'm a d4 player so it never comes up. I play the hyper accelerated dragon against e4 so I've never seen it from that side either.  I am aware that there is a thing called the Yugoslav Attack but that's it.

For someone whom the French defense feels natural, and for whom the Caro-Kann, Scandinavian, NID, QID are highly enjoyable, which Sicilian lines for black may be a "natural fit" for a player who goes by how a position "feels"?

The Taimanov seems to be my answer.