The Most Ridiculous Openings

I saw a video recently on the most ridiculous openings, counting only ones that high rated players had played outside of Blitz. The video was all about 1. g4 h5, and 1. b4 a5, which actually appears in Horowitz's "Chess Openings, Theory and Practice", as a line of the Polish Opening. I don't really think of either of those as real openings, just as novelty lines.

So, what would I consider the most ridiculous openings? There are several that nobody plays any more, but did once. The Durkin Attack, 1.Nc3, was played by Bob Durkin, if nobody else. 1. Nh3 used to be called the Paris Opening, so somebody must have played it. No idea who, or how often. Or why.

I think Anderssen's Opening (1. a3) deserves serious consideration, considering that he played it multiple times, and beat Morphy with it. Santasiere's Folly, (1. Nf3 Nf6 2. b4) if only for the name.

The Steinitz Gambit (1. e4 e5 2. Nc3 Nc6 3. f4 exf4 4. d4 Qh4+) is ridiculous, and regarded that way by almost everyone but Steinitz, but he won a World Championship game with it. It was almost like a slap in Zukertort's face that he was so confident of victory in the last game that he trotted out that crazy gambit that nobody respected. His ...Qf6 line in the Evans is pretty ridiculous too. Or 1. e4 e5 2. Nf3 Nc6 3. d4 exd4 4. Nxd4 Qh5 in the Scotch. In fact, I'll bet you could build a Top 10 Most Ridiculous Openings list from Steinitz's games alone.

And let's not forget the Rice Gambit (1. e4 e5 2. f4 exf4 3. Nf3 g5 4. h4 g4 5. Ne5 Nf6 6. Bc4 d5 7. exd5 Bd6 8. O-O) that Rice laid out big money to get top players to play, hoping to prove that it was a good line, and they failed. Tchigorin even won a Rice Gambit match against Lasker, playing the black side.

Alapin's Opening, 1. e4 e5 2. Ne2 looks ridiculous, since it looks like it's going to be a standard double king pawn opening, where White has unaccountably blocked his Bishop. But if you play it like a closed Hypermodern Opening, rather than like an open Double King Pawn Opening, it's not as silly as it seems.

I once freaked someone out by playing the Kopec Sicilian in a serious game. 1. e4 c5 2. Nf3 d6 3. Bd3. He gave a flabbergasted "what the heck??" look, but then sort of nodded "Oh, I get it now!", when I played 4. c3.

There's something inherently ridiculous about both the Center Counter Defense and the Alekhine's Defense. Alekhine's Defense is intended to goad White into building the center he wants, while the Center Counter, likewise, says "Here's my Queen, take pot shots at it". Like the Steinitz Gambit, both openings seem to voluntarily take a handicap to try to prove that it's not as bad as it looks.