The worst chess opening

This debate rages. The usual targets are the Barnes (1. f3); which seems to have no purpose beyond escaping "Book" and gives Black an easy life; and the Grob (1. g4) which is objectively somewhat on the ghastly side between players with Stockfish-level accuracy but which has the practical virtue of forcing Black to play sharply (one slip and Black's up a well-known brown and steaming creek without means of propulsion). Personally, because Player Development is my "thing" I might vote for the London. Objectively it's a fine opening system, but if relied on overmuch it can retard the progress of a player's overall strategic understanding by virtue of being a gnat's one-eyed.

Stockfish is over sold when it comes to chess openings, stockfish doesn't play chess, humans do. Ignore stockfish, i consider it nothing more than a tool to help examine an opening, not the final determinant. If I were to exaggerate, I'd say chess engines are rubbish when used to determine which openings are/ are not worth playing. For example, if I absolutely had to win a game as black and I knew white would play 1.e4, I'd play the Latvian without hesitation. There is a gradient for chess openings, but engines are of limited value deciding arrangement. The Clemenz and the Amar are both depressing to play; if you don't recognize those names, there's a good reason for that.

G4?

I think it's: 1. e3 2. Ke2 3. Qe1 4. c3

If we're talking about "the worst first move", those are candidates. But not for "the worst opening", surely. These are good and solid compared to absolute troll openings like the Bongcloud or the Cow.

I suppose the question should be rephrased to something like " what is the worst opening, in regard to results, for players of roughly similar strength?" If the strength difference is too greater the stronger player can play whatever they want and never lose.

I'd agree. Truth be told I have trouble seeing the Bongcloud as an "opening" as opposed to some form of jest, so that one slipped past me. The Cow I suspect will be on a par with the Barnes: not losing, no forced refutation, gets out of "Book", but gives Black a non-critical easy ride.

h5...

For the worst named opening, we have this:

Barnes Opening: Fool's Mate, eval reads 0-1 (or -319.99 if you're that guy)

..and for the worst book move, we have this:

Bird's Opening: Dutch, Dudweiler Gambit, eval reads -2.97

I hope this answers your question v.v

How about the worst first 4 moves?

Bruh kádas opening h4

St george defense

or Ware defense

mega bong cloud

I don't see a defense; where's the defense?

It is a defense It is a defensive opening

A4 pawn

f3