What is the best opening for the white?

What if you hold on to that minimum wage day job of yours a bit longer. I don't think your open mic comedy at night is ever going to pay the bills!

If I had a nickel for every 1800 rated dumb kid who claims he's going to be really strong when he gets older, I would be a BILLIONARE! You'll probably peak out in the 1900's then quit playing otb tournaments making up some nonsense excuse. The fact is, you don't have the brainpower to improve significantly.

Forget online ratings, your OTB rating sucks as well, assuming you're not exaggerating about that also, which you are probably doing. 1821 is super weak. I'm 2245 OTB and close to being an FM. You'll never get anywhere near that strength even if you study for ten hours a day for YEARS!

After beating him (FrontYard Retard) really easily in the first game with a simple tactic, I decided to take it easy on the poor kid by playing a Ruy Lopez excange variation in the second, to essentially nullify my white advantage.

1.e4 e5 2.Nf3 Nc6 3.Bb5 a6 4.Bxc6 5.0-0 Qf6 6.d4 exd4 7.Bg5 Qd6 8.Nxd4 (pretty normal looking so far....but now the 1500 rated mouthpiece shows his lack of strategic ability) 8...c5?! (kicking the knight that want to recycle to a better location anyway. This would be a forgiveable reflex move in a bullet game....assuming you didn't know any RLEV theory and had to start thinking already, but in a 5 min game it shows a distinct lack of class. 9.Ne2 Qxd1 10.Rxd1 f6? (Just horrible! I could almost give this a double question mark as it takes away the important f6-square from Black's kingside knight, which defeats the entire point of the 5...Qf6 line, to NOT have to play f7-f6. He does this all for the sake of a tempo. As i said, we're seeing bullet-callibre play in a blitz game! 11.Bf4 (with a temp of my own!) 11...c6 12.Nd2 Be6 13.Nb3 g5? (another noob idea from my friend FrontalLobotomy here. He should be trying to salvage a poor position by focussing on completion of development, with say 13...Nh6 with the idea of ...Nf7 and some control of e5, but instead he just further weakens his kingside) 14.Bc7 (simple and effective) 14...Rc8? (a complete waste of time. The bishop is obviously headed for b6 anyway...now I'm doing it with gain of tempo!) 15...c4?! (what we're seeing here is a pattern of him making mindless moves which force a reaction, such as what you would see in a bullet game with two weak players. Ironically his moves are actually LOSING him tempo instead of gaining it. 16.Na5!? (Of course I thought about the obvious 16.Nbd4 here, but it seemed more prudent to blockade the queenside whilst also attacking b7. Besides, there is another knight that can leap to d4!) 16...Rb8?! Mindless reaction. Again the moron neglects development of the kingside to try to hang on to a pawn, whislst his entire position is collapsing! This is how weak 1500 rated beginners think. Short term and superficially! 17.Nd4 Bf7 18.e5 fxe5 19.Bc7 and here the moron lets his remaining minute or so run out. It's hard to imagine he used up the first four minutes playing such drivel! 

Actually, I just analyzed that game myself. Very far from an engine game on both sides. Of course my innacuracies were just that....while yours involved mindless noob blunders and a total lack of understanding. Not only are your tactics extremely weak, but you have no knowledge or skill whatsoever. I'm amazed you're even 1500. 

Lest we not forget that I'm the one who prefers to play 1 minute bullet games, because I was worried about YOU cheating with an engine. I'm 2270 at that bullet, proving my strength. I caved in and agreed to play YOUR time control of 5 minutes and beat you as easily at that as i would have in bullet!

At the end of the day, you've been exposed for the stupid noob kid you are! After all that mouthing off and bragging you were doing earlier, I at least expected a reasonable challenge. You're weaker than my weakest student!

A 1500 player could analyze that game.

A 1500 player could not play those moves in a blitz game.

After beating him (FrontYard Retard) really easily in the first game with a simple tactic, I decided to take it easy on the poor kid by playing a Ruy Lopez excange variation in the second, to essentially nullify my white advantage.

1.e4 e5 2.Nf3 Nc6 3.Bb5 a6 4.Bxc6 5.0-0 Qf6 6.d4 exd4 7.Bg5 Qd6 8.Nxd4 (pretty normal looking so far....but now the 1500 rated mouthpiece shows his lack of strategic ability) 8...c5?! (kicking the knight that want to recycle to a better location anyway. This would be a forgiveable reflex move in a bullet game....assuming you didn't know any RLEV theory and had to start thinking already, but in a 5 min game it shows a distinct lack of class. 9.Ne2 Qxd1 10.Rxd1 f6? (Just horrible! I could almost give this a double question mark as it takes away the important f6-square from Black's kingside knight, which defeats the entire point of the 5...Qf6 line, to NOT have to play f7-f6. He does this all for the sake of a tempo. As i said, we're seeing bullet-callibre play in a blitz game! 11.Bf4 (with a temp of my own!) 11...c6 12.Nd2 Be6 13.Nb3 g5? (another noob idea from my friend FrontalLobotomy here. He should be trying to salvage a poor position by focussing on completion of development, with say 13...Nh6 with the idea of ...Nf7 and some control of e5, but instead he just further weakens his kingside) 14.Bc7 (simple and effective) 14...Rc8? (a complete waste of time. The bishop is obviously headed for b6 anyway...now I'm doing it with gain of tempo!) 15...c4?! (what we're seeing here is a pattern of him making mindless moves which force a reaction, such as what you would see in a bullet game with two weak players. Ironically his moves are actually LOSING him tempo instead of gaining it. 16.Na5!? (Of course I thought about the obvious 16.Nbd4 here, but it seemed more prudent to blockade the queenside whilst also attacking b7. Besides, there is another knight that can leap to d4!) 16...Rb8?! Mindless reaction. Again the moron neglects development of the kingside to try to hang on to a pawn, whislst his entire position is collapsing! This is how weak 1500 rated beginners think. Short term and superficially! 17.Nd4 Bf7 18.e5 fxe5 19.Bc7 and here the moron lets his remaining minute or so run out. It's hard to imagine he used up the first four minutes playing such drivel! 

Once again you prove that you're really just a 1500 (if that). While it is true that 8...c5 is seen often in RLEV games, it is completely missing the point here in THIS position as there are other priorities. Mindless generalization is the hallmark of a patzer with a low IQ, and that's EXACTLY what you are doing!

Nobody is as good as Carlsen, you mindless twit! That's another thing low IQ cretins like you like to do...is come up with absurd comparisons. You and your boyfriend probably similarly discuss who is tougher...incredible hulk or superman, etc. This is what dumb people do to pass the time. The fact is, you lack the intelligence required to get good at chess. You're not just really weak now...you will always be really weak. You'll end up quitting tournaments some day out of frustration as the smart kids cross over the 2000 threshold while you realize that you are unable to do so, even with great effort.

My God, are there any moderators in these forums???