What is the stupidest opening ever?

why would this be considered stupid i use this opening for half the games i play and half the games i play i am victorious

My favourite stupid opening doesnt even have a name, but it can be fun to play. I've actually won a few games with it here. 1 e4 b5?!

LOL: diagram fail!

1.The Parham

2.Daeth's Opining

3.The sicilian (2.c3!! and black resings)

for white: f3 or f4 followed by g4 or vice versa.

Nigel Davies vs Nigel Short: 1 c4 e5 2 Nc3 Nf6 3 g3 b6 4 Bg2 Bb7 5 Bxb7.

Nigel Short was 8 years old.

The stupidest opening is to turn up and before sitting down for move 1 refuse to shake hands twice. I call this the Cheparinov opening. It is vulnerable to the Short defence. Tipping over the pieces and shouting at the opponent and arbiter "goddam it man are you blind" is an optional technique for extra, bonus stupidity.

How about the Kriegspiel Trap?  Kriegspiel is the game where White cannot see Black's pieces and vice versa.  All you are told are the number of pawn tries (legal pawn captures available), pawn captured on x (where x is a square, like e3), piece captured on x, file check, rank check, long diagonal check (long based on the K, not the checking piece, so WQc6 and BKe8 is long diagonal check), short diagonal check, or Knight check.

Therefore, the trap is:

1.e4

1...d5 (1 Pawn Try)

2.exd5 (Pawn captured on d5)

2...Qxd5 (Pawn captured on d5)

3.Qg4

3...Qa5*

4.Qxc8 Checkmate!

1-0

* - Black assumed 3.Nc3 was played.

As you can see, white prepares a king sacrifice for a more controlled center

This opening requires 239658726534797625782693547893289IQ to play.

The Death Attack. Mwahahaha

Bet you cannot guess the continuation. (p.s. this position is not a terrible position as if white makes a single mistake then they are lost or at a forced draw, the continuation for white is a lot harder to see than for black)

Actually, that position is lost. It is an inferior version of 1.c4 e6 2.d4 b6 3.e4 Bb7 4. Bd3 f5 5. exf5 Bxg2 6. Qh5+ g6 7.fxg6 Bg7 8. gxh7+ Kf8 9. Ne2 and Black is really already almost lost. The position in your line is lost for sure.

The Bong Cloud