People are making all kinds of excuses here even though saying hi, good luck, and good game at the end, is considered basic etiquette in both offline chess and in many other online games... I think it all comes down to the fact that chess attracts a lot of people who are either toxic (...just read the comments...) or on the spectrum, or both.
Why don't people chat?
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Feb 17, 2021
0
#143
From reading some of the responses I am surprised to see words like "beat", "massacre", "fight", etc. Look, I'm not picking on anyone, but why do some people take this game so seriously? Remember, it's a game. I could see if you earn your living playing chess, but that's not a reality for most of the people here. I have a day job and I enjoy chess for the competition factor and to hone my skills. But, I certainly don't go into a match with the mentality that I want to kill my opponent. Maybe it's a maturity thing. Yes, winning is a nice feeling, but it's not everything in life for some people. I enjoy chatting, to be honest, but not in fast games. That's a distraction and I respect my opponent. In longer games where there's plenty of time, I enjoy the communication factor and I like engaging with others. I may throw some words out there to see if they enjoy conversation and if they don't respond so be it. I don't engage any longer. I have met some amazing people on this website and became good friends only because I mentioned a few words during a slow match. Our society has become one of aggressive competition where nothing is more important than winning. I guess I don't have that mentality and I'm glad. Chess is a hobby, something I can enjoy and not lose sleep over if I lose. My paycheck comes from a day job, not a chess match. 
I am older and respect others, but I don't relate to some of the aggressive mentalities on this platform where someone would do anything at all costs to "win". Life is not about winning, but enjoying the moments. It's a mindset. I probably lose most of my matches, but heck, I love every minute of it because chess to me is about enjoyment and honing my skills, nothing more. I have a son who is 21 and can't play chess because he told me there are too many people online who are rude and take it way too seriously. My advice for those who do enjoy conversation is to find some clubs to get into where people enjoy casual discussions during games or after, depending on how long the moves are. You certainly don't want to distract your opponent. If anyone enjoys chatting connect with me and I'd be happy to discuss strategy or anything else! Everyone is different and I respect that, but just be kind and courteous to others and don't bother them if they don't like chatting. Apparently, most people come here to try and destroy others so if they enjoy that kind of mentality, awesome! More power to them. BTW, there is a cool app out there called "SocialChess" and I use that platform a lot because it was designed around communication. I pay for this site, but I find myself using that app a lot more because I do enjoy the chat factor. Chess dot Com does have some issues with engagement it seems. But, I pay for this site because it's a good way to learn and I use other chess apps for the social factor a lot more. I'm glad there are choices out there. Peace! 
I created a social club if you DO like communication.
Feb 17, 2021
0
#144
comatho wrote:
People are making all kinds of excuses here even though saying hi, good luck, and good game at the end, is considered basic etiquette in both offline chess and in many other online games... I think it all comes down to the fact that chess attracts a lot of people who are either toxic (...just read the comments...) or on the spectrum, or both.
The real toxic people are the ones who think people need to say 'hi' otherwise they're not 'being kind' and get mad at them for not saying anything. Can you imagine going for a walk and saying 'hi' to a stranger then get mad at them for not saying anything back at you?
I_Am_Second wrote:
ArtNJ wrote:
I play 5/2. There is plenty of time for a stray "interesting" or "thnk you would have had me with nd7" or . . . anything. Even a "gg" at the end would be something.
I understand that it isnt mandatory, that many people dont want it, and that at times there is something of a language issue. But it shocks me that essentially no one chats to any extent.
I can go 50 games without seeing a chat unless I initiate it. Even then, if I start with a "hi and GL" the typical response is . . . silence.
I think its a contagion of sorts, a vicious circle. Since no one chats, chatting is seen as weird and aberrant.
I never play in person anymore. A little chatting wouldnt exactly recreate the chess club days, or the days playing in the square, but it would be something.
You will find a long list of rediculous excuses:
Im not here to chat
I dont have time to chat (even though the clock doesnt start until you make a move)
Its the annonymity of the internet. Hiding behind a computer screen afford many people the disillusioned luxery of being the internet tough guy.
I copy and paste each game:
God bless and good luck
Good Game
For my own amusement, i track the responses i get (yea im that big of a nerd) against how many games ive played. Currently on average .75% of my opponents respond. Yea...that less than 1%
Oh the long winter night must just fly by for you 😂
Feb 17, 2021
0
#146
Wildekaart wrote:
The real toxic people are the ones who think people need to say 'hi' otherwise they're not 'being kind' and get mad at them for not saying anything. Can you imagine going for a walk and saying 'hi' to a stranger then get mad at them for not saying anything back at you?
This is not a sensible comparison. Passing somebody by only takes a few seconds, whereas playing a chess game takes anywhere from a couple of minutes to multiple days.
That being said, if somebody greets you when you're outside, typically in a small town or out in nature, of course it would be bad manners not to respond! Now imagine going to an appointment (with a doctor/lawyer/client, whatever), and spending 20 minutes working with them, and refusing to say 'hi' and 'bye'?
But since you appear to be worried, I never harass people when they don't respond. In fact, most of the time I don't even bother trying to say 'hi'... I've also never once played anybody who was "agressively social", so I doubt these "real toxic people" exist.
I beat a 1600 at 1100 rating because he (or she) lost by timeout. Even in this 10 minute game, there wasn't time for them to chat. I won by trying to hold out as long as possible
LegoChessMastery wrote:
I beat a 1600 at 1100 rating because he (or she) lost by timeout. Even in this 10 minute game, there wasn't time for them to chat. I won by trying to hold out as long as possible
Gg
Feb 17, 2021
0
#150
I play most of my chess on the iPad. The last time I tried to chat, a flaw in the app caused me to lose by disconnection. It worked before an update, and may work after another.
Aren't we almost always playing timed games? Doesn't that mean that my clock is running while I'm typing the answers to my opponent's friendly questions? I'd rather spend my time thinking about the game
Aug 23, 2023
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#152
I'll tell you one thing - it sure wasn't like this back in 2016 when I first started playing at chess.com. Lots of players had interesting home pages with tons of ideas, thoughts, and information, plus chat occurred very regularly in games...I'd say at least half the time. Seems to me the issue is more related to the way the world has changed in the past 7 or 8 years versus anything else. Players have so much on their minds nowadays that it's about all they can do just to sit down and finish a game. And in shorter time frames such as 3 or 5 min. blitz, chat really isn't appropriate because of the need to focus. But I hear you - I miss the old days as well.
I say good luck and good game to people I know, or if they say it first.