Queen's Pawn opening, Zukertort! (bless you)

Also that's really funny I said I second your advice without noticing your 800-900 elo higher than me LOL

Against d4, I've put a few hours into the Dutch and mostly liking it. The King's Indian, I've given up on. The Slav, I've never looked at but I'll keep it in mind.

Against e5, I'm suddenly very excited about the French.

By the way, as White, playing d4, I hate when they play e5, and I'm not sure why but I'm seeing that a lot suddenly, and losing about twice as often as I win, so I'm also working on that.

That really makes a lot of sense. I'm saving all your comments. Thanks again.

Englund Gambit.

It can be tricky, until you know the basic way to neutralize it.

So far, so good - it aligns with your London preferences. We've capture the gambit e4 pawn and have developed to protect the extra material.

Now comes the part to remember: Black wants the natural-seeming move here: bishop to c3. But that's a trap - it loses.

Example:

Now the c3 bishop is pinned, and White's rook is undefended. Anything White tries at this point is losing.

(Set up the position and try different things, you'll see how Black comes out on top.)

So what to do? We go back and play Nc3 instead of Bc3:

Now the bishop tactic won't work, and White is already better. For example:

White's got nearly all his pieces into the action. Black, meanwhile, is struggling to find good development squares for any of his pieces. Black will have a much harder game to play, with lots of threats to worry about from White's well-developed position.

As White, you'll still have to "play chess" from this point on - but it's going to be much harder for Black than it is for White.

EDIT: Black also has one last desperate trick up his sleeve:

Instead of ...Bb4, Black might try ...Nb4, double-attacking the c2-pawn. Here's a basic way to respond:

And no matter what Black tries here, he's going to be losing some material.

The Englund might seem hard, but once you study the above lines a bit, it shouldn't bother you anymore.

wow

Okay, I spent more time studying that than playing today, except against the computer. It's going to take a while... I memorized the first few lines, by playing them over and over against Maximum. This was in a real game and lucky for me, Black was pretty cooperative early on (ha ha). They resigned after move 20.

After Qxf6, I was a bit lost, tbh.

yep

I'm on a laptop but I moved it into a Google Doc file... easier to go through.

Started with me wanting advice about my opening... I appreciate that I'm getting much more.

For White, it's the Jobava London. For Black it's mostly the Dutch and the French. Then I mentioned my trouble as when it's 1.d4 e5.

still working on it as we speak, actually... practicing against Stockfish

The thing is, when e5 is played, my (Jobava) London is out the window, of course.

anti-Englund Gambit, cheating against Maximum

I play Maximum to learn and memorize... I take advantage of his advice, like "Bc4 was good... Nf3 was best", and I consult studies, like @MaetsNori 's, above. 

I have been losing around 2 of 3 when Black plays the Englund Gambit. I'm trying to fix that.